kikkochan55

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 10

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:47:56 GMT

Chapter 10

Kirk had decided that he had to do something for Spock that would show him just how much he cared, and how much he was willing to try for him, and he figured that taking the other on a trip that would allow Spock to study the wildlife on the planet they were to spend their shore leave on would be a nice gesture.

And it definitely would be a nice thing to preclude what he had planned later that night.

* * *

Spock, since his release from sickbay on the condition that he keep his intake of certain foods to a bare minimum, had noticed that he was spending a large amount of time thinking about the planet they were to take their shore leave on. It was extremely well-known for its marine wildlife. He doubted he'd have time to observe it firsthand, but he was sure he'd have time to ask the locals some questions.

He got up from where he was sitting in his quarters when he heard the door buzz, knowing that it must be Kirk, as they had planned to leave the ship together at this time. He grabbed his bag and opened the door. The edges of his lips twitched upward at the warm look Kirk was giving him and replied softly, “Jim.”

Kirk grinned back at him and said, "Ready to go?"

Spock nodded, and then he saw Kirk fidgeting slightly as his grin turned a little nervous, “Well, I...I arranged to spend the day with you today. Like...just you. Just us.”

Spock could tell that the other was really trying to make their relationship more than just sex, and the idea was exciting and a little daunting at the same time. He was such a private person, it was a little difficult to accept.

Spock felt his cheeks tinge green as he replied, "You would want to spend the day together?"

"Yeah, I really would." The look in his eyes as he replied was downright affectionate and it made Spock want to melt.

Perhaps there really was hope for something more. Spock's cheeks tinged further as he moved a little closer to Kirk, "It sounds like it will be a wonderful day."

Kirk then couldn't resist pulling Spock into a quick hug and placing a soft kiss on the other's cheek, and Spock could feel through his touch telepathy that the other was slightly embarrassed at how sickeningly sweet his action was, but strangely it seemed that the other didn’t want to stop. Facinating, indeed.

Finally Kirk pulled back and then led the way to the transporter room, saying, "This planet is supposed to have a great deal of its surface covered by oceans...somewhat of an island paradise."

"So I have heard," Spock said. "It is known for the wide diversity of its marine wildlife." He couldn't help but show at least a little of his awe show in his voice. Vulcan had very little marine wildlife, so marine biology had always fascinated him.

Kirk's smile grew again and when they finally they got to the transporter, Kirk requested to have them dropped off at a particular point on the beach.

When they arrived on the beach, Spock subtly took Jim's hand, rubbing his thumb over the back. He noticed the look on Kirk’s face was absolutely serene as he looked out toward the horizon and it made his heart skip a beat. He was truly blessed to have Kirk in his life this way.

Kirk gave Spock's hand a squeeze finally as he said, "Nice, isn't it?"

"Indeed," Spock agreed, looking at the water with a look of intense curiosity. He wished dearly to see what was under the surface.

Kirk grinned when he saw the way Spock was regarding the ocean in front of them and said, "Well, I've planned for us to go scuba diving today...you know, to see all the cool fishes and stuff."

Spock turned to look at Jim, his eyes wide. "Jim..." he whispered, grinning for just a brief moment before remembering that he was a Vulcan. "Jim, this is..." he trailed off, at a loss for words.

"It's not even close to what you deserve, Spock, but it's a start." Kirk said, giving him a bright grin that reminded him of a star.

Kirk then led the him over to the people on the beach who lent out the scuba equipment and gave lessons, seeming to have done all his homework before coming to this planet.

Spock kept closer than usual to Jim. "Jim, this is amazing. I cannot think of how to thank you for this opportunity."

"Just...be happy. All I want from you is for you to be happy." Kirk replied simply, touching Spock's face for a moment, then going over to the people to arrange for what they needed for the excursion.

Spock felt his cheek tinge impossibly greener when Kirk touched him, and he just watched Jim for a moment, admiring him.

They both got on their gear and Spock thought Kirk looked clumsy and ridiculous in the suit and he couldn’t help but smile the smallest bit, "Forgive me for saying it, Jim, but you look absolutely ridiculous."

Kirk laughed a little more and he said, "I was just having the same thought."

Then the teacher motioned them over to the water and began giving them their lesson.

Once they were underwater together, Spock felt as if he was in Heaven - this was so vastly different from Vulcan, and so much more intriguing.

Kirk wished that they could speak as they moved underwater with the fishes, finding the looks of wonder and awe in the other's eyes to be more breathtaking than the sights of the unusual fishes and other creatures that the planet offered to them.

Spock reached out, touching Jim's arm. It is breathtaking, Jim. Thank you so much.

Kirk smiled in reply to the thought pressed into him and though he wasn't telepathic like Spock, it seemed as though he had some special skill in sensing just what he was feeling anyway. This made Spock smile inwardly, feeling safe with letting Jim know his emotions.

After a few more minutes of admiring the sea animals, Kirk motioned his want to resurface. Spock nodded and followed the other to the surface. Finally, they returned to the shore and returned all of their scuba gear, and Kirk barely waited till they were dressed to give Spock the most loving kiss he could manage, right there on the beach, not caring if anyone saw them, even if, admittedly, there were very few people on this beach as it was.

Spock reciprocated, unable to resist - being with Kirk felt amazing in ways he couldn't describe, and he was not about to let any contradictory thought work its way into his head for any reason. Kirk held that kiss as long as his breath held out, and then he brought him in for a warm and tight embrace.

Spock rested his head against the side of Kirk’s. "T'hy'la..." he murmured, "Thank you. For all of this..."

Kirk held on tightly as he whispered back, "I'll live up to the honor of being called that, I promise you...I don't know what it means exactly, but I can tell it's important."

Spock smiled softly, feeling safe since no one else was there to see the blatant emotion on his face, "There is no precise translation into Standard, but it is a term used only for those closest to a Vulcan's heart."

"Spock..." Kirk said softly and lovingly in the other's ear in response, and it made the love he felt for Kirk well up so strongly in his chest.

Kirk kissed Spock one more time, and once again, Spock counted his lucky stars that Kirk was with him, even when it seemed most hopeless. His t’hy’la...to even have this much was more than he’d dared hope for, and the only thing he wished for more than anything else was never to be parted from him.

Finally, Kirk pulled back from him and gave him another one of his bright smiles that never failed to make his heart skip a beat, and he led them back to the transporter that would return them to the ship.

* * *

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 9

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:32:49 GMT

Chapter 9

When they beamed back aboard the ship, Kirk turned to Uhura as they made their way back to the bridge and he said in mild amusement, “Thanks a lot…mate.”

She seemed to understand that it was just a small tease, so she stuck to giving him a small smile and said, “Yeah, about that. I’m thinking about getting you replaced.”

“Is that right? Who’s the lucky potential replacement?” Kirk said, raising an eyebrow in humor.

Uhura felt a bit of color coming to her cheeks, but after a mild hesitation she said, “Well, a certain Scotsman has caught my eye…”

Kirk chuckled, recalling his slightly drunk conversation with Scotty about this and he said, “That explains the eyes you two were making at each other today when we beamed up and returned to the ship.”

Uhura scoffed lightly, but the blush was still obvious on her cheeks. On getting in the lift that would take them back to the bridge, she said meaningfully, “Spock’s a lot more forgiving than you think.”

Kirk sighed at these words from her, and he softly replied, “I hope you’re right.”

But the moment the both of them got on the bridge, Kirk put his situation with Spock and the other’s condition out of mind at least until they finished with this mission.

* * *

Another few days passed, and speaking with Uhura at least helped him share some of his guilt. His guilt wouldn’t leave until he spoke to the other though, so was back to watching Spock in sickbay whenever he wasn’t on duty. He kept a watch over Spock whenever he could, his want to make everything up to the other growing with every passing hour.

Sometimes he would wait in the waiting area of the sickbay if it got to be too much for him to stare at the other’s motionless form. He was slightly comforted by seeing Spock’s chest rising and falling in a regular pattern, assuring him that the other was hanging on, but at times, he just couldn’t take his helplessness in the situation, underlined by the other’s sedentary form on the bed.

The present time was one such instance, where he was sitting in the sickbay waiting room, just trying to tell himself for the millionth time that everything would be okay. He just wanted Spock to wake up. It didn’t matter if the other wanted to be with him or not. As long as he woke up…Kirk was running another anxious hand through his hair when his thoughts were suddenly interrupted.

McCoy then stepped into the waiting room and said with a half smile, “Jim, Spock’s finally starting to wake up.”

Kirk immediately stood up and the most honest grin in days came to his face. He didn’t even have to say anything about wanting to talk to him, since McCoy knew how badly he needed to see him.

McCoy motioned for him to go on in, patting him lightly on the shoulder and saying, "He's probably still a little sore in the stomach, so go easy on him."

Kirk nodded again, and a somber look then coming to his face as he readied himself for this meeting. He would probably continue to feel like the worst human being alive as long as it took him to apologize for everything he did. He walked into the room, and he noticed that McCoy and Chapel thankfully were giving the both of them some space for this.

He went to sit beside Spock's bed and he watched the other blinking his eyes as Spock focused on him. Not sure what to do, Kirk gave Spock a very hesitant smile and said softly, "Hey."

Spock lifted his head a bit. "Captain," he greeted. "My apologies for causing you so much worry."

Hearing Spock referring to him as "Captain" in such a setting cut through his heart.

He shook his head lightly as he replied, "No, Spock, this was all my fault, and I'm sorry."

Kirk spoke as honestly and genuinely as he could manage, feeling his guilt really eating him alive at this point.

Spock frowned the slightest bit as he saw the expression on Kirk’s face, and he said, "Jim. You had no fault in this. I can only thank you for notifying Doctor McCoy quickly."

"No," Kirk insisted, his eyes practically begging the other for forgiveness, and his tone getting harsh as he talked about himself, "It is my fault. I've caused you all this pain, and for what? I'm such a thoughtless person."

"Jim..." Spock was visibly touched. He lifted a hand to take the Kirk's and he softly added, "You did not wish this on me. And you are not thoughtless."

"I am selfish, I am thoughtless, and I am careless. You've tried to tell me these things before, in your own way, and I never listened. And when we were able to actually get closer, I fucked it all up." Kirk said, looking shamefully at the floor.

"You are not to blame for any of this. You were uncomfortable with the idea; I understand this. It is not your fault." Spock whispered, trying to speak in Kirk’s defense, in spite of what had happened to him.

"And what sort of moron would refuse what you tried to give me? What...you've never tried to give anyone else? I threw it away because I'm a selfish coward!" Kirk said roughly with downright bitterness at himself.

"You cannot blame yourself for being uncomfortable with such an idea," Spock said.

"Yes, I can." Kirk said in raw emotion, "After seeing what happened to my mom when dad died, I decided that I didn't want to have to need someone else, or depend on them. I thought that if I was able to keep myself strictly individual, that I would be happy. And now I see...I'm not happy at all. I've hurt the one I love and now I have to see him in the pain I put him in...the pain I've caused you."

"Love?" Spock whispered quietly in a way that showed he wasn’t sure he’d heard Kirk correctly.

"Yeah...love. It took all of this for me to realize it and stop denying it to myself." Kirk said, laughing mockingly at himself, "I'm such a goddamn idiot, and I know that I don't deserve you, but I wanted to let you know that I do love you, and I want to...make this all up to you."

Kirk almost laughed at himself again at just how shallow he sounded. How do you make up to someone repeated rejections of lifelong commitment, and then stressing said person to the point that you compromise their health and cause them a near fatal stomach ulcer?

Its just not possible. All through his stupidity, he messed up what he now realized was the most important relationship in his life. Spock was trying so hard to give him his love and himself...and now that it wasn't possible, he was willing to accept?

He really was a deplorable human being, he realized that now.

Spock looked at him and spoke in soft intensity, "Jim..." he said, softly. "Come closer."

Kirk knew that he was a very readily emotional person when properly compelled, and now, he was having trouble containing himself. He wanted to be the one hurting instead of Spock, he wanted to take Spock into his arms to let him know how sorry he was, he wished that he could just sink into the ground and just disappear out of the other's life so that he could stop hurting him.

And he was still scared that if he got close to Spock again, he would just hurt him worse, but with the other on a hospital bed, he knew he owed him this much, so he moved closer as was requested of him.

Spock grabbed Jim's arm. "Words are not sufficient to describe the intense relief you have just given me, t'hy'la. "

"Spock, I'm sorry...I don't want to hurt you anymore." Kirk said, looking away from him and felt a twinge in his heart, not able to take that look of affection he found in the other's eyes.

He didn't deserve that look, and he didn't know why the other still wanted to look at him that way. Kirk never felt this horrible in his life and he felt his eyes tearing up at the honest look in Spock's eyes...how the other still wanted so badly to trust him, but was hesitant to after all this.

"I want to make it all up to you...it's okay if you don't want me, and it's okay if you don't want me to stay around...I just want to do something that will make you feel good, and if it's the transfer, I'll give you that. I'll do whatever you want me to."

"Jim," Spock said. "I have never stopped wanting you. There is not a soul who could replace you in my eyes. Please... please do stay."

"You really want me to stay?" Kirk said in disbelief, hoping beyond hope that Spock would one day be able to really forgive him.

"Yes. I need you to stay, Jim."

"Then I'll stay." Kirk said, nodding and having a very serious look on his face.

This was no time to joke, especially since he wanted Spock to see that he meant this with all his soul, and that he was so, so sorry for everything.

Kirk was happy that Spock seemed to believe him, and he whispered back, "Thank you."

"Can I...kiss you?" Kirk never asked if he could do something like this before, only taking what he wanted then, but now he would not take Spock for granted.

If Spock actually still wanted him after all this, he would do anything for him, no matter the cost to himself. He had to make up for what he did, and he figured asking Spock for permission would be the best way to begin this.

"Please," Spock said, his tone pleading. "Please do."

Kirk bent over Spock and he met his lips in a very soft and loving kiss, totally undemanding. He wanted nothing out of this, as Spock had already given him far more than he ever deserved.

Spock reached up to pull Kirk closer gently, and Kirk eagerly complied, not realizing just how much he’d missed closeness with the other until now. He was careful not to push against Spock with too much pressure, as the other was likely still a bit fragile. He kissed the other as long as the air in his lungs held out, and then he pulled back and panted softly for breath.

"I love you, Spock, oh god, I love you." Kirk babbled slightly, never letting himself feel like this before.

"T'hy'la..." Spock murmured. "I love you, too."

Kirk gasped quietly as a few tears slipped out and fell on Spock's cheek. How could have refused such a gift the first time? He was a fool. And he definitely would never make this mistake again.

When Spock reached a hand up to cup Kirk's cheek gently, he leaned into the touch and he gave Spock a grin. Spock smiled back softly.

* * *

A/N: There is still more story everyone! This is not the end! XDD

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 8

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:48:12 GMT

Chapter 8

On some more days passing, Starfleet Command contacted the Enterprise of a new diplomatic mission being put under their care. They were informed that the chance for Federation membership was being extended to a fairly newly discovered planet, Uhin III. The dominant species on the planet, the U'Shonenet, was humanoid, and Kirk was thankful for this.

Especially with him struggling to keep his mind off Spock and his condition and on his work, he didn’t need the extra worry of figuring out how to communicate with a strange alien on top of all of that. And he figured that this would be an easy enough mission, since all he had to do was extend the membership to them, and assure them that their compliance in the alliance would grant them protection from other hostile empires through Starfleet.

It seemed like a deal that the small, far out planet couldn’t refuse, so Kirk planned to get this done as fast as possible. He also saw no foreseeable trouble with the U’Shonenet either, as the sparse information provided to him about them implied that they were a friendly people.

Though he would not understand their language, he would be taking a universal translation device with him to deal with this problem. He figured that two people on security detail with him on the landing party would suffice, and so he briefed two men on his security team on the mission before they were to beam down to the agreed upon place.

Gathering with the security men in the transporter room, nodding to them as they took their places on the transporter pad, and then he looked to Scotty, saying, “Alright, Scotty. Beam us down. There should be no worry, but if don’t check in within five hours, beam down with reinforcement.”

“Aye, sir.” Scotty said with a nod, then started the transporter.

As he beamed down, he felt the familiar feeling of weightlessness that he wasn’t sure he’d ever really get used to. It was exhilarating in a strange way, always making him feel as though he was flying through a kind of nothingness, only to be pulled back to reality when he rematerialized.

He found a small group of the U’Shonenet waiting for them as was agreed and he greeted the person that stood in front of the group, assuming that this one was the leader.

“I am Captain James Kirk and these are two members of my crew on the Enterprise.” Kirk said, nodding toward the leader, who was smiling at him.

“G’mut teut t’nah, Kirk nuet.” The leader replied with a nod.

Kirk blinked at the man, but then quickly realized that his universal translator wasn’t on. Smiling sheepishly, he switched it on and asked him to repeat what he said.

“Captain Kirk. We receive you well.” The translator rattled to him, and then he smiled politely to the leader in response.

Kirk then decided to turn the charm on because the whole idea of this mission was to get this planet to accept the Federation membership being extended to them, so he'd better do his best to play the part he was given.

With this in mind, he then gave the leader his most winning smile and said, "Well, shall we?"

The leader gave a deep nod and then led the three of them over to the council chambers to discuss the agreement. On arrival to the building, Kirk noticed a very striking woman sitting at the table they were to conduct the talks at, and he instinctively smirked at her. The day that James T. Kirk does not smile at a pretty lady would more than likely be the end of the world.

She gave him a tiny smile in return and her face grew slightly more red. Kirk was a little pleased to learn that he would be sitting next to her during the proceedings, wishing that this pretty face was enough to bring him out of the depression he’d felt the whole time Spock had been in sickbay.

“If I might inquire…who is this lovely lady?” he asked the leader, then turning partly toward the girl and smiling again.

“She is my daugher, J’hani’su. She will be the proprietor of our treaty with the Federation.”

Kirk just smiled politely at that, but the whole thing confused him. Just what did the leader mean by that? Kirk decided that the translator was probably being a little wonky, so he ignored this strange translation it gave him, and took it to mean that she was going to help during the discussion they were about to carry out in some way.

Once the other council leaders joined them and were seated comfortably, the leader then told Kirk, “It is tradition that we imbibe food and drink during communication with guests in our home. We intend to do so with you, Captain Kirk.”

Kirk nodded and said, “By all means.”

The dinner and talks seemed to proceed without a hitch, the leader speaking of the benefits Federation membership would bring the planet and vice versa as well. Truth be told, Kirk wasn’t really listening to most of what was being said, diplomatic proceedings never much having the ability to keep his attention for long.

He just agreed with the leader when it seemed appropriate, and tried to keep a neutral expression on his face the whole time, so it wouldn’t be obvious that he wasn’t really listening. Instead, thoughts of how Spock was doing on the ship and the pretty girl sitting next to him swirled in his head.

He found it curious that she didn’t seem to be helping with proceedings of the discussion much at all, being very silent, and looking quite shy every time he met eyes with her. This was really strange since the leader mentioned her to be the “proprietor” of the treaty between them and all. Maybe the leader had just said this to be nice, but something didn’t sit right about any of this, he could feel it.

Once dinner was over, Kirk assumed his job was done, but before he could get up to leave, and consider this talk a success in diplomacy between the Federation and Uhin III all thanks to him, suddenly everyone was looking at him. He didn’t often feel uncomfortable when all the attention in a room was focused on him, but that was when he knew why everyone was staring at him.

Now he felt like shifting uncomfortably under everyone’s gazes, wondering just what he did wrong. He knew he’d have less to worry about if Spock was here, knowing the half Vulcan was always able to keep them out of pinches that they were bound to get into as a result of culture clashes, but now he was alone, since his security guards were of little help in this situation.

The leader finally spoke, “Now it is the time to understand if you will bind the Federation with Uhin III as according to our most sacred traditions. If you cannot, it is time for you to voice your concern.”

Now Kirk was at a complete loss. Didn’t they already do this with the dinner and the talk? He wasn’t sure what they meant by ‘sacred traditions,’ but he figured that it must be some sort of ritual they like to do, since he had known other cultures to be attached to their traditions of old, even if they had progressed considerably since those times.

This matter was so close to being done and finished, so Kirk especially didn’t want the mission to go down the tubes at this point. So what if he had to participate in some strange custom of theirs? It probably would be fine. He just hoped that they wouldn’t make him put on some strange outfit or wear a stupid hat. All diplomatic missions Starfleet sent them on were recorded, and he sure didn’t want the higher ups to see him like that. And, he especially wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, so that he could get back to the ship and then go to check on how Spock was doing.

Realizing he was silent for a long moment as all this went through his head, he decided not to worry and just to go with it, finally giving the leader a smile and saying, “Yeah, I’m ready to join our sides. So…what do I have to do?”

The leader seemed really happy at Kirk’s consent to follow their traditions, and when Kirk glanced over to his daughter, he was surprised to see her looking at the floor and her face was completely flushed.

Kirk’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion, wondering why she seemed this apprehensive, especially when the talks between their planet and the Federation went so well, but he didn’t have much time to process this as the leader gave Kirk a ceremonial looking bow and said, “Please follow after me.”

He noticed that the other planet officials stayed behind in the council chamber and it was only he, the leader, and the leader’s daughter that were apparently going to be a part of this, and this made a red flag go up in his head. Why wouldn’t the important planet officials be coming for such an important ceremony?

He was about to ask them this, but they had arrived to a small room. More red flags were going up as he realized that he seemed to be led to a more private room in the building. None of this was right, he realized, as the small room they walked into was quite obviously a bedroom. There was little else in the room except for a small dresser with what appeared to be some aromatic oils on top of it and the large bed in the center.

His eyebrows went up in absolute shock as he looked around the room, and he attempted to sputter how he thought there was a mistake in what he communicated, but they appeared not to be listening.

The leader gave him a deep ceremonial looking bow and said, “We welcome you to our planet and into our home, Captain James Kirk of the Federation. May you find joy in this joining.”

Kirk was completely speechless as the man said this to him, and with that the leader whisked out of the room, leaving him alone with his daughter. Now, on examining her, she looked extremely anxious and nervous, and she was blushing so incredibly red. Kirk also began to blush as it finally came to him what they were expecting him to do here. There was no way could he do this!

“Captain Kirk.” she finally said, giving him a very shy look and smile, “I will prepare for the coupling in the next room, and then I will rejoin you. Please wait here.”

“Wai- ” Kirk tried to stop her before she left, but she was gone before he could say anything.

He made a noise of frustration, and ran a hand through his hair. He needed to figure out what he agreed to exactly and then how to get out of it. He also kicked himself at this point, knowing that none of this would have happened if Spock was here. Spock…that was another reason he couldn’t do this.

Maybe a few months ago, he would have had less qualms about doing this but now…he couldn’t even dream of it, no matter how pretty this girl was. He quickly flipped open his communicator to ask for help, since he knew he couldn’t do this alone.

“Kirk to bridge.”

“Bridge here. Uhura speaking.”

Oh, great. She was definitely going to have a field day with this one, but since she was the ship expert on languages, she would definitely be the person to ask about this.

“Uhura, I need you to go over the recording the universal translator had taken of my conversation with them for the last five or ten minutes. I need to know your personal interpretation of what they said, since I’m not certain the translator was literal enough in the translation it gave me.”

Her voice turned dry as she answered, “Are you in trouble, sir?”

“We’ll see how bad the trouble is when you go through the translation. Kirk out.”

He quickly hung up the communicator and just paced around the room. He hoped the girl would take a while ‘preparing’ since he definitely was up shit creek without a paddle at this point.

After a few minutes, his comm beeped again, and he hurriedly answered it, “Kirk here. What did you find out?”

It sounded as though Uhura was really trying not to laugh, and he might have heard a few chuckles in the background as she answered, “Well, sir…it appears you agreed to a more…physical joining than you’d thought.”

Kirk sounded irritated as he replied, “Obviously, as I’m standing in a bedroom right now, I’ve already figured that out. Was there anything else I should know?”

Now Kirk was certain that he heard Sulu and Chekov laughing in the background now and even Uhura’s voice quivered as she continued, “And, well…it seems you’re expected to impregnate her with a child to represent the union between Uhin III and the Federation.”

Kirk’s mouth dropped open, “WHAT? You can’t be serious!”

“That’s the best translation I can offer with the information you’ve given me, sir.”

Kirk ran another hand through his hair. He managed to fuck up again, in more ways than one. It seemed as though he was getting better at that. This was one time he actually was completely happy with following Federation rules on diplomatic proceedings, since that didn’t require him to screw a girl he’d just met, especially since he was trying to change for Spock.

Finally he spoke with clear irritation, “Well, don’t just stand there, I need you to beam down immediately to help me get out of this mess!”

“You want me to beam down? What can I do to - “ she spoke in surprise, since it wasn’t customary for her to beam down most missions.

“I don’t know, but you’re going to help me since you properly translated whatever they said to me. I’m not sure I’m going to make much headway by myself.” Kirk grudgingly admitted, “Just use my communicator for your beam down coordinates. Kirk out.”

Within another couple minutes, Kirk saw Uhura shimmering into view next to him, and then when she’d completely materialized, he said extremely dryly, “You realize that anything you say and do right now will never leave this room.”

She couldn’t help but smirk in amusement on her reply, “Captain, it’s a little late for that, since everyone on the bridge already heard you.”

Kirk made another noise in frustration, and decided to worry about damage control at another time. Right now, he had to make it clear to the girl and her father that there would be no baby making happening on his part today.

“Okay, we’ll wait for her to come back and then we both need to talk to her. We’ll probably have to bring her father into this conversation eventually since he’s the council leader too.” Kirk said, still pacing a little since he was extremely stressed and nervous.

At this time, the leader’s daughter reentered the room, and shock was painted all over her face as her eyes settled on Uhura. Kirk noticed that she had on a dark velvet robe that she had let hang open slightly as she entered the room, offering him a tantalizing view of a very sexy outfit. Geez, these people seemed to know what they were doing.

He shook his head to get his thoughts back in order as she held the robe closed tightly and she said in confusion, “Who is this person? It is not customary for any one else to be present during the union.”

“Ahh, well…I think we need to talk.” Kirk said awkwardly, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder, but taking it back before he could, deciding that he didn’t want to give her any more mixed signals than he already had, not wanting things to get even worse, and for this to turn into a diplomatic incident.

He looked over to Uhura for assistance, and she shook her head, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes as she added, “Our Captain here misunderstood what would be required of him in…your union.”

J’hani’su looked between Uhura and himself for a moment, seeming to get more confused, and she said in worry, “But James Kirk agreed to follow our sacred tradition. Once the time has passed to voice a concern, the contract is binding.”

Kirk kicked himself again. Yes, he surely was better at fucking up than he’d ever imagined.

“I didn’t know that I was agreeing to this.”

A slightly hurt expression crossed her face as he said this, and he realized that he’d messed up once again by inadvertently hurting her feelings.

“You seem like a really nice girl, and I’d really like to do this. I just…can’t.” he quickly added so he wouldn’t feel that he just found her much too undesirable to let things move along, since it really was quite the opposite.

The girl looked between the both of them again and seemed to come to some sort of conclusion as she said, “Is this because this woman is your mate and it is she that is voicing an objection to the union?”

Uhura’s eyebrows went up in shock and in the moment she was unable to say anything, Kirk jumped on this opportunity to get out of this situation quick, “Yeah, she’s my mate, and she doesn’t agree to this at all.”

Then Kirk decided to have a little fun with this, since it wasn’t often that he got to have a little fun at Uhura’s expense, so he added with a tiny smirk, “She’s just feeling jealous since we mate frequently and I don’t usually mate with anyone else.”

Uhura raised an eyebrow at Kirk and sent a thinly veiled glare in his direction and said, “I couldn’t very well let my mate make an uninformed decision.”

Though, she said ‘mate’ like she was referring to a particularly nasty bit of slime.

“Do not be concerned, mate of James Kirk. He will not be required to stay once the union is complete. His responsibility to us will end at that time, but he would be remembered always as the proprietor of this important joining of our people.” she said with a nod, most likely believing that she had come to the heart of the problem.

Uhura obviously bristled at being called ‘mate of James Kirk,’ but she made no comment about that as she replied smartly, “Other than his responsibilities to me, he would still be unable to fulfill his end of this treaty.”

“What else would prevent him?” J’hani’su asked, getting concerned again when she saw that the problem was not solved yet.

Then a smirk came to Uhura’s face as she said, “Oh, he’s impotent. Definitely can’t get anyone pregnant, so he’d be a bad person to make this treaty with, given your requirements.”

Now it was Kirk’s turn to glare at her, but he supposed that he had it coming. Oh well, things were fun while they lasted.

Giving Uhura a sarcastic look, he then turned to the girl and said, “I certainly don’t want to let your people down with my own…short coming.”

J’hani’su seemed at a complete loss now, not sure how to approach this problem, “I have never heard of an instance where one party is unable to hold up their promise to join. I require council with my father to come up with a solution for this matter. Please wait here.”

When J’hani’su left the room, Uhura turned and fixed him with an intense glare, speaking in an extremely aghast tone, “I’m yourmate?”

A smirk came to Kirk’s face and he said, “Hey, as long as I’m impotent, you get to be my mate. Unless, you know…you’d like for me to prove you wrong on that account.”

She rolled her eyes as if to say ‘this is not the time,’ and spoke in irritation, “You’ll never change. Not even after what you’ve done to Spock.”

On speaking the words, she looked a little hesitant, realizing that perhaps she’d let a little more slip than she should have, especially since they were on a mission together, and not speaking privately on the ship. Kirk was hurt when she said that, but he decided he probably deserved it, since she didn’t say anything but the truth.

With all of the teasing gone from his face and voice, Kirk let out a sigh and said, “No, you’re right. I have been an asshole to Spock.”

Uhura looked at him in silent surprise, but waited for him to continue speaking, unable to believe that Kirk was actually owning up to something he did for once.

“I’ve slept with a lot of people, and done little else than that as far as relationships go, I know that.” Kirk continued bitterly, wishing that he’d changed before Spock came along, so that he wouldn’t have put the other through the pain he had, “And then…when Spock sprung his feelings on me, I didn’t know what to do. I admit that the idea of a commitment freaked me out.”

Letting out another sigh, he said shamefully, “When the two of you broke up and Spock and I started something, I thought it would just stay friends with benefits. I thought that’d be the best way to maintain our command and to stay out of the sticky relationship stuff. But then, it all happened. And why wouldn’t it? We had more closeness than I ever had with any one else I slept with, and I just kept denying it because I was afraid. And then…and then I caused him all this pain because I was an idiot.”

He wouldn’t even look at her, just glaring at the floor, so ashamed of himself for being so immature. She then softly cleared her throat to get his attention and she said in hesitation, “Captain…Jim. I’ve seen that over the time that Spock was in sickbay, you’ve not been yourself, and I can see now that you regret much more than just the situation turning out like this. I’m sorry I thought you to be so careless.”

“But you’re right. I was careless. I was purposefully oblivious. And now…it’s probably too late for me to change things. Spock’s not going to want me back. Who would want someone back that caused them enough stress to literally put them in the hospital?” Kirk wanted to kick something, preferably himself, but he held himself back, trying to keep himself together since they were currently on a mission.

“Hey…” Uhura’s voice turned just a little apologetic, and she said, “Spock’s a fighter. I know he’ll be alright. And really…I’m sorry for thinking so little of you.”

“I deserved it. But, when he wakes up, I’m not going to be like that anymore. I have to be better than that.” Kirk said, sounding determined.

“I think you’ll be able to do it.” Uhura said, patting him lightly on the shoulder in a demonstration of confidence.

Kirk smiled a little sadly at her for a moment, glad that he finally succeeded in really clearing the air between them, and then he looked down at the floor again. Suddenly the leader, his two security guys, and the daughter returned to the room, and the leader was looking rather confused.

“James Kirk, I was under the impression that you fully understood our tradition and were able to uphold the joining from the end of the Federation.”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t fully understand. But I don’t want our negotiations to fall apart just because of this. I’d like to find another way for the Federation to uphold our side of the union.” Kirk said sheepishly, trying to show that he was still going to try his best smooth this whole thing over, even after all this happened.

The security team came over and regarded Uhura in confusion, wondering what she was doing there, and while the leader and the daughter spoke in the corner of the room, trying to decide amongst themselves what they should do to solve this situation on their side.

Kirk tried explaining quickly to the security team what had happened, when the leader and the daughter approached them again.

The leader spoke somberly, “We will allow you to provide us with a replacement in your place who can fully perform in the capacity that we require, since we do not want to abandon this union either.”

Kirk had to think fast. As he looked to his crew members with them for some assistance on making this decision, one of his security men stepped forward and said, “Sir, I can do this for us. I’m single and I really want this mission to succeed too.”

Kirk raised an eyebrow at the man and said, “Are you sure about this, Lieutenant? You are aware that all of this would be far above the call of duty.”

The Lieutenant stood up proud and said, “Yes, sir. I want to do this.”

Kirk gave his team a small smile in relief, and then he spoke in humor to his Lieutenant, “You certainly could be worse off. Alright, let’s tell them.”

Kirk broke their little circle and then he approached the leader and the daughter and said, “Lieutenant Masterson has volunteered to take my place in the union. I hope he’ll do?”

Both of them looked the Lieutenant over and the daughter nodded to her father.

“The Lieutenant seems capable of fulfilling our tradition.” she added, giving Masterson a smile.

The Lieutenant blushed at her and the leader, and Kirk decided that he should just leave and let them to it.

“Alright, everyone. Let’s beam up. Masterson, we’ll be checking in on you in a couple of hours. If we don’t hear from you, we’ll be coming back down, got it?” Kirk said as the rest of them prepared to be beamed out.

“Yes, sir.” he said with a shy smile.

Kirk smiled at him one more time and then he flipped open his communicator and said, “Scotty, beam us up.”

* * *.

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 7

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:57:58 GMT

Chapter 7

Spock was rushed into surgery immediately after being brought to sickbay, and since the Enterprise was not on an important mission at the time being, Kirk stayed with him the whole time. He was worried sick and it was obvious with the silent way he sat there with the troubled look on his face.

When McCoy finally entered the area he was waiting, Kirk quickly stood up from where he was sitting and approached the doctor quickly, "What is it, Bones? What happened to him?"

"...Do you want the medical details, or do you want the layman's version?" McCoy asked. "Neither sounds pretty."

Kirk narrowed his eyes in annoyance and said, "Just tell me what's happened to my First Officer!"

Kirk noticed that he got snappy when he was worried and under stress, and this situation definitely went under both of those categories.

"He had an ulcer," McCoy said in irritation, "It ended up perforating his stomach, causing intensified bleeding, not to mention it spilt his stomach's contents into the body cavity," he explained. "His stomach's in one piece, but there's still a good chance that he'll get an infection..."

Kirk looked at him like he was crazy. This can't be, his First Officer was always fit as a fiddle...what was he doing with a stomach ulcer this serious?

"But, how did this happen? I thought he was in good health." Kirk said, not wanting to believe him.

"He probably picked up the bacteria last time we were planetside," McCoy said. "After all, you've got more bacteria in your body than you'd think. But all the stress he's been under recently probably weakened his immune system, so the bacteria could form an ulcer, and then the stress also exacerbated it."

"What do you mean, 'stress'? If duty on the Enterprise was enough to cause this, wouldn't more of us have ulcers? And Spock, for him, work is relaxing." Kirk argued, still having trouble wrapping his mind around all this.

"You, Jim." McCoy said, rolling his eyes in absolute impatience and putting his hands on his hips.

"...me?" Kirk said, unable to really sound that surprised, given the conversation he and Spock were having right before he started coughing up blood.

"I told you; he's been stressed out over what's been going on with you. I'm not going to pretend I know how it escalated to this point, but I bet you do."

Kirk broke eye contact with McCoy at this point, now feeling like possibly the worst, cruelest human being alive. Spock was obviously so torn up over their situation, and Kirk still wanted him to stay for his own selfish needs.

But he couldn't let him go, he just couldn't. Something in him wanted Spock to stay and never go, and that scared him the most. Now he knew that what he'd been trying to avoid his whole adult life had happened right under his nose. Right under his cocky, selfish, and definitely unworthy nose.

He knew then that he loved Spock. He really loved him. He knew he loved him enough to die for him, and this was why the thought Spock separating the two of them by his own choice killed him. He knew this now, and he felt like such a moron, for things to have come to this, just for the truth to come to light.

"Jim...when the two of you talk, you need a final, definitive answer for him," McCoy tried to help after letting out a frustrated breath, "And whatever that answer is, you need to let him do whatever's going to help him. If he wakes up."

A determined light came into Kirk's eyes, and he replied, "When he wakes up, I'm finally going to tell him how I feel. God, I've been such an idiot, Bones. I've strung him along and I've hurt him, just to figure out that it was all for nothing. I think…I’d be willing to try for him."

Kirk almost wished that Bones would punch him in the face, because he knew he deserved it. He put Spock' s life in danger over this, when it really was more simple than he'd ever thought. And after all of this, he was ready to accept the fact that Spock might not want him or to be with him anymore.

Maybe that Romulan Commander would treat him far better than I ever did...Kirk thought in misery.

Bones' eyes softened, seeming to realize how Kirk was struggling over his guilt, "Then that's what you tell him, Jim. Because no one can replace you for him."

"I'll tell him...but he's not going to want me. I know I wouldn't. I sorta don't even want me right now." Kirk said, shaking his head and plopping back down in the seat he was waiting in before McCoy came to speak with him.

McCoy sat down next to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Jim, he'll want you. That's the thing that makes Spock... well, Spock. You know as well as I do, he looks past the faults of a person. He loves you, Jim, and that's not gonna change anytime soon."

Kirk wouldn't look back at McCoy as he replied, "I hope you're right. I've fucked up before, but I never felt guilty about it, not really...but now...I feel like it' s almost beyond repair."

“Relationships are never beyond repair if you’re determined to fix them,” Bones said, trying to give his friend confidence, “Just talk to him. Believe me, he loves you more than he can handle.”

Kirk didn’t say anything, still not looking at McCoy. Finally he just nodded, hoping for the best.

* * *

In the days that followed, Kirk had to return to his duties, even if he wasn’t in the mood for it at all. He just wanted to stay by Spock’s side until he was sure the other was alright, but his duty to Starfleet simply couldn’t be ignored since everyone depended on him to captain this ship.

This was clearly his fault, no matter which way he tried to look at the situation. No matter how much he tried not to think of the situation and concentrate specifically on his duties, his guilt always bubbled up inside of him, and Spock was never far from his thoughts.

He constantly asked Bones to update him on Spock’s condition, often visiting the half Vulcan in sickbay when he wasn’t on duty, and calling Bones from the bridge when he was. He was surprised that the doctor hadn’t lost all patience with him by now, but it seemed as though the other understood.

In his life, there was never one person he felt so concerned over, not counting his brother and his mother, and now his feelings for Spock, along with his formidable guilt, swept over him with no way to stop it. How ironic it was for him to come to the realization that he loved someone this way for the first time only after he more than likely destroyed all chance for that person to keep loving him back.

Slowly Kirk withdrew from interacting much with the other members of his crew out of their jobs, and this made his friends really worried about him. And McCoy, even if he knew what had put Kirk in this mood was starting to get concerned, because there wasn’t anything that could really keep Kirk from bouncing back before. This was the first time he had seen the other so depressed for so long.

Kirk was really glad for his friends caring about him, but he knew that maybe he had something coming like this for a long time, since Karma was a complete bitch. Maybe painful realization of this kind was a part of growing up, which also was probably a long time in coming as well. Whatever the case may be, he just had to pull through until Spock got better and finally really apologize to him.

In the times he sat with Spock, most of the visits consisted of him willing the other to get better and silent apologies for getting him into this situation in the first place. He wished that there was something he could do to hasten the other’s recovery, but he knew that Bones was doing everything for him that was possible.

One night, when Bones was just finishing his shift, Kirk came by to visit Spock again. Sadly, the doctor had nothing to update Kirk with, as Spock’s condition showed no change. Kirk took his usual seat by the other when he visited him and he let out a melancholy sigh.

If the past days he spent at Spock's bedside taught him anything, it was that spending time with the other would just cause him undue frustration, since there was absolutely nothing he could do to help speed the others recovery. This time, he decided not to torture himself over his helplessness in this situation, and with his guilt of causing this to happen to Spock.

He just reached out to tenderly touch the other's hand, and he spoke in a tone of soft determination, "You’re going to get better, you hear me Spock? I need you working beside me on this ship, so...just come back to me. Come back."

With that, Kirk let out a sigh and then got up, deciding to just return straight to his quarters. He knew that he was definitely in for another sleepless night.

* * *

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 6

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:44:22 GMT

Chapter 6

After weeks of trying to deal with the fact that Kirk would never really want him the same way that he did, Spock realized that the whole endeavor was entirely fruitless as he was the Captain's First Officer and so was required to be around the other constantly.

It was just a constant reminder of what would never be his, and, as Doctor McCoy had pointed out, it was starting to affect his health negatively, not to mention that he was in almost constant anguish over it most of the time.

He decided that his last resort, his only recourse, would be to request a transfer off of the Enterprise. He didn't want to leave the best ship in the fleet, but what choice did he really have? He knew he couldn't go on like this forever. He had to move on, no matter how much it killed him.

With this in mind, he stopped by Kirk's quarters one evening to discuss this with him, not wanting to spring the idea on him without any sort of warning. He hoped he wouldn't lose his nerve on telling Kirk though, since he knew this would be difficult for both of them.

Kirk let Spock in when he buzzed at the door. The Captain seemed to immediately notice something was wrong, so he frowned and asked, "Spock? What's up?"

"I must speak with you urgently about something." Spock said softly, trying to steel himself with what he wanted to say, not looking into Kirk's eyes because whether Kirk meant to or not, those eyes always melted his heart and made him completely helpless.

Kirk nodded to him and stepped aside to allow him inside.

"Sure," he said, eyeing him just a little suspiciously, "Spock, are you alright?"

Spock took a breath and ignored the question, knowing it would help nothing to admit just how not alright he was, and he continued, "I believe I have no choice but to request a transfer off of this ship as soon as is possible."

"A transfer?" Kirk asked, his eyebrows scrunched up in surprise, "Spock, why?"

Spock was now staring resolutely at the floor as he replied, his face going tight with emotion, "I have tried to forget, I have tried to move on, but no one else will be my t'hy'la. No one else can be you. I cannot go on tormenting myself this way, seeing you day after day."

"Spock... You can't..." Kirk said in shock, "You can't just leave."

Spock didn't dare look at Kirk, knowing he wouldn't be able to stand the disappointed expression that would be on his face, and he shook his head, saying, "I must. If we are at an impasse, I must. "

"Spock..." Kirk looked as though there was so much he wanted to say, but he just wasn’t sure how to say it.

When Kirk was silent for a long moment, Spock pushed on with what he needed to say, "I wished to inform you of my intent before I officially went through with it, since I did not want you to take offense from my choice."

"I... see..." Kirk said, sounding too shocked to be reacting properly, "Thank you for thinking to tell me... I'll miss you, you know."

"I will also miss you, t'hy'la." Spock's voice got even more quiet, and he couldn't help some of his pain leaking into his tone.

"Then... Then don't go..." Kirk said, his voice cracking just a bit with a hope that cut straight into Spock’s heart.

He might have been a hair's breath away from crying, that is, if he were fully human, and his voice quivered slightly in his reply, "Jim, I...I can't stay."

"You can... You have to, Spock... We can find some way to make this work." Kirk finally said in determination, not wanting to give up that easy.

Spock swore he felt his chest constrict as he tried and failed miserably in keeping his voice even, "Please understand. I want you...more than I've ever wanted anything, but it is not to be, Jim. We do not agree."

"There's got to be some way..." Kirk tried again, not willing to drop it, and Spock should have known that Kirk would never give up if he wanted something.

Spock really did admire Kirk’s determination at most times, even when he didn’t agree, but in this case, it was all he could do not to break down and bend to what Kirk wanted, since usually his Captain was always his first priority. This time though, he had to think of himself for once. As much as he wanted to be near to the other, he couldn’t live like this anymore. He couldn’t.

"I have meditated on this for many hours and days, Jim. I have come up with no suitable solution." Spock said, a strange pain building inside of him.

He couldn't focus enough to pinpoint the cause of the pain, but he felt it was safe to assume that it was the subject of this conversation that was causing it.

"I can't let you leave, Spock," Kirk said, shaking his head fervently.

"Then what do you want from me?" Spock asked, his tone almost begging now, sure that he was on the verge of some sort of emotional breakdown.

His t’hy’la wanted him to stay…but this is one wish he could not grant him if he wanted to survive. His agony would eat him alive if he didn’t do this.

"I..." Kirk hesitated. "Spock, I can't just let you leave... I need you here."

Spock was so torn at this point and he struggled to come up with a reply, but suddenly all he could feel was pain. And it wasn't just emotional pain. It was physical and it overwhelmed him to the point that he could no longer stand.

He fell to his knees and grabbed his stomach where the pain seemed to originate as he wondered what was happening, stuttering, "J-Jim I--"

The next thing he knew, he was coughing blood and could no longer speak.

"Spock!" Kirk gasped. "Kirk to sickbay. Bones, get down here!" he said quickly into the comm before bending at Spock's side.

* * *

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 5

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:45:16 GMT

Chapter 5

Kirk stepped out of his quarters a bit early, hoping that would allow him to avoid both Spock and the Romulan Commander on the way to the bridge, but he happened to catch both of the people he wanted to avoid the most. He made sure to stay out of their sight but he couldn't help but watch Spock closely.

He noticed the other was walking very stiffly next to the Commander, and he didn’t know why, but he was certain that something had happened between that woman and Spock, and the idea sent a stab of hot jealousy straight to his gut. He decided that he should say nothing to Spock about this though, especially with all that he’d already put the other though.

He just had to grudgingly bear it until they dropped her off at the next Star Base, which thankfully would be arrived at within the week. He was counting the days off until then, and only then would he devote any more time thinking about what he should do to improve his relationship with Spock again. He figured the other needed some space, and he had to be willing to give him that, even if it bugged him like this.

When he was sure Spock had made it back to his quarters, only then Kirk continued down the hall to the lift that would take him to the bridge.

* * *

In some weeks, when the Romulan Commander had been moved off the ship and was set to await trial on Star Base ten, and the Enterprise Crew was slowly trying to return to normal operations, and this included Doctor McCoy getting people in for their required physicals. He considered it a personal triumph that he succeeded in getting Spock into his physical without too much badgering, so he'd figured that it was a good omen.

Boy, had that been wrong. Sure, the Vulcan was perfectly within range for vision, hearing, height, weight, strength, endurance, flexibility, and every other test... except for the one test he'd never thought he’d have to hound Spock over: blood pressure. He came back over after compiling all of the results.

"Spock," he said. "You exercise, you eat well, and your blood tests are clean. Now, I have a question for you: Why is your blood pressure higher than normal or healthy?"

"I do not believe I have been experiencing any additional stress outside of what my duties require, Doctor." Spock said, and McCoy could easily see him trying to sidestep the question, always wanting to keep his personal business close to the vest.

McCoy would have none of that, especially when his particularly stubborn patient’s health was in the balance, "Not what I asked, Spock. I'll be damned for giving you this compliment, but you're the only guy on this ship outside of Medical that actually knows what's going on with his body. You have high blood pressure - I can attest that your diet and exercise are well within what's good for you and your blood is clean. So, I'll ask you again. Why the high blood pressure? Are you and Jim having some sort of spat?"

"Excuse me, Doctor?" Spock said, obviously not expecting the sudden question, his body stiffening and his voice getting aloof, which betrayed his true feelings of discomfort with this line of questioning.

"You and Jim used to get together - in more ways than one, I'd imagine - on a fairly regular basis, Spock. Now you avoid one another like the damned plague." McCoy said sarcastically, with an impatient eyebrow raised.

The tips of Spock's ears went green at McCoy's insinuation, but he didn't deny anything.

"What has happened...is strictly a personal problem between us. We have not let it interfere with our work." Spock said, still being stubborn to explain.

McCoy could tell that this conversation was about to turn as fun as a barrel of monkeys at the tone of Spock’s voice and the almost expression he had on his face. The Doctor knew Spock had a hard time opening up to anyone but Kirk, and he saw that now since the Vulcan didn't have Jim around him so much anymore, he'd walled himself in even more thickly.

"But it's affecting your health, Spock," McCoy said.

He paused for a moment as he suddenly decided that he had to speak with Spock privately about this. He knew that high blood pressure was never good for any species, so he would have to get through that thick Vulcan skull about this or die trying, "Chapel, get Donaldson in and do his physical for me," he called, then motioned for Spock to step into his office.

Spock thankfully didn't argue with him, and when the office door closed them off from the rest of the ship, he still spoke stubbornly, "I do not know what to tell you since what happened is extremely personal in nature."

"I'm Jim's friend, Spock, and, more importantly, I'm his doctor. I know he can be an asshole at times. If you're having trouble with him, I'm willing to help. I'm going to venture a guess that this has something to do with that asshole part."

McCoy was sure he was starting to make some progress when Spock broke eye contact with him and down at the floor for a long moment. The doctor could see him struggling with trying to keep his personal problems private and wanting to share at the same time, so he stayed silent to see which side would win out. If Spock tried arguing with him some more, he would just declare him unfit for duty until he did tell. McCoy smiled internally and decided that in some cases, it was great to be a doctor.

"Jim and I...have had occasional relations, and I obviously misunderstood his wants and needs." Spock said with hesitation, but his eyes looked just a little sad as he let his shields down a bit.

McCoy’s mouth almost dropped open in shock, and he gulped. Oh, boy. He never thought he'd be having this kind of conversation with Spock, of all people.

"What happened?" he asked gently.

From the look on Spock’s face, he was sure that whatever had happened wasn’t good, and after his wife had left him... Well, he knew something about getting turned out.

"I..." Spock's voice got a little more reluctant, his eyes showing his pain just a bit more, "I expressed my desire to deepen the relationship, but Jim...he informed me that no desire for anything more than we had up to that point. It was foolish of me to expect any other conclusion, given his past record in such matters."

"Oh, wow," the doctor said, running a hand through his hair, "That about tops the list."

When Spock gave him a curious look, McCoy let out an irritated sigh at Kirk and said bluntly, "Jim's being an ass, Spock. And not only that, believe it or not, he's being an idiot."

Spock seemed to consider the doctor’s words carefully, but he had a tone of resignation when he spoke again, "Whether he is being an 'idiot' or not, it is useless for me to pursue something that is unwanted by him, no matter how much I…wish otherwise."

McCoy paused for a moment as so me pieces fell into place. "That's what was going on with the Romulan Commander, wasn't it?" he asked, softly.

Spock now didn't dare look at the Doctor as he continued speaking in a very quiet tone, "She gave me the attention I craved, but she wasn't who I wanted. Not my t'hy'la."

"Hey," Bones said as gently as he could manage. It’d taken him a lot of time to really understand Spock, but now he felt like he was getting there, and he knew that though they had their continual differences, he had no choice but to admit that he considered the other a good friend.

"There's no shame in trying to take your mind off of it, Spock," he assured the Vulcan after another moment of silence, "Look... I can't tell you how to approach this, because I'm not you, but you need to find some way to come to terms with this. If there's anything at all I can do to help you with that, just say the word and I'll do it."

Bones looked at Spock seriously. He could easily tell how he would be dealing with this problem himself - he'd apply for a transfer and get away from Jim as soon as he could - but he wasn't about to tell Spock how to live his life.

"You can do nothing. I can only work to forget." the doctor could tell that Spock was trying to keep himself together in this situation, but he wasn’t so sure the Vulcan was managing it all that well.

"My door's always open if you need someone to talk to. And if you want me to work Jim extra hard on his physical..." he said, only halfway teasing. Though the Vulcan had the propensity to be an unemotional bastard most of the time, even he didn’t deserve this. McCoy was sure it would take him a lot of self-control to avoid just smacking the Captain upside the head for this one.

"Thank you." Spock replied, and it sounded as though he really meant it, "And please do not harass the Captain. It would do neither of us much good if he is forced into something he does not want."

"Alright. If you're sure you don't want me to, I won't," he agreed, albeit almost reluctantly. He placed a friendly hand on Spock's shoulder and added, "Though... I will say this. If Fate owes anyone a favor, it's gotta be you. Things will work out, somehow."

Spock nodded, a thankful look coming to his eyes. As Spock stepped out of the office, McCoy hoped that this situation would be resolved without the First Officer losing yet another important person in his life.

* * *

Kirk tried to take his mind off of the fact that he and Spock were no longer speaking outside of interactions on the bridge, and it was eating him alive. He didn't know what he wanted, but he certainly didn't want any of this. He didn't want Spock hurting or wanting more than he could give...didn't want to see that pain in his eyes when the other forgot to guard himself and his emotions closely, and really, he could only forget the pain he'd caused the other with a drink…which seemed to be his last resorted to coping mechanism.

So he naturally got himself in touch with the ship's best unofficial bartender, and best friend, Bones. He missed evenings with the other, since official ship business seemed to get in the way of that ritual of theirs more than he liked. He was glad now that he and the other were seated in his quarters having some nice, and probably illegal, alcohol that the other brought with him.

They just drank silently for a few minutes, when Bones finally spoke, "God, Jim, you're such an asshole," he said, simply.

Kirk decided to take this as a joke and so he tilted his head curiously at the other, and with an eyebrow raised he said in a playful yet curious tone, "Yes...and?"

When Bones said nothing and just crossed his arms, he knew that the other was actually being serious, so then the tiny smirk melted off his face and he said, "What is it?"

"...I shouldn't be telling you this," Bones began. "But when I did Spock's physical... Well, he's been stressed out lately."

"What do you mean?" Kirk was now concerned.

He knew Bones usually had a reason to get on his case about his health and his diet, but Spock? He was too proper and conscientious to not be of the best health possible. It had to be serious if Bones wanted to talk to him about it like this.

"Jim, you know Spock, even better than I do. The man eats well, exercises more than regularly, and his blood tests were completely clean, as usual. Stress is the only real option left, and...Well, Jim , he told me about what happened between you guys - after some badgering."

Kirk suddenly got a rush of guilt in the pit of his stomach and his face reddened slightly when he heard this, "He did?"

"Yeah. Jim, he's really torn up over it. I don't know, you two need to figure out some way to deal with this. That Romulan Commander was a brief distraction for him, but you guys need a permanent solution."

Kirk couldn't help the jealousy that boiled up in him when the Romulan Commander was mentioned. He didn't want that woman coming anywhere near Spock. But then the guilt was right back again, because it was his fault that Spock was caused all of this anguish that was causing him to look for distraction in other people and for his health to be worsened.

"I...I don't know what to tell you, Bones. I don't do relationships." Kirk finally said, giving McCoy a helpless look.

"Look, Jim, I know you. You want to keep Spock around, at least as a friend, don't you?" Bones asked.

"Of course I want that, Bones, but Spock has made it clear that he needs more. He needs something more than I think I can give him." Kirk said, shaking his head, feeling even more guilt.

Why did he feel this much guilt over the situation if everything really was out of his power anyway?

"Then you need to talk with him like an adult, or you're going to lose him completely. Jim, I thought my problems with Karen were out of my power, but... God, I wish I'd just talked to her. And you will, too."

Kirk couldn't help but look at his friend sympathetically, never hearing Bones talk about his ex-wife in a non-sarcastic manner. He never knew that Bones might have really wanted to stay with her if he had the chance, and to know this about his friend really let him see another side of him.

He didn't want to end up feeling like this over Spock...even if he wasn't sure right now that he wanted to take the plunge with the half-Vulcan. Spock was one of his closest friends, and that was something he was sure he couldn't lose, if his misery over the last few weeks had told him anything.

Bones looked at Kirk. "Jim... I don't want you to spend the rest of your life regretting this, so... Think, carefully, before you go talk to Spock."

Kirk was quiet for a long moment before he nodded. Bones was right, he did have to talk to Spock again, and seriously this time. This all wasn't worth losing his friend over. And maybe...just maybe, he could stand to have more. He just had to be willing to make the next step.

Bones just watched Kirk thinking for a minute as he finished his drink and he said, "Good luck, Jim..."

* * *.

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 4

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:10:39 GMT

Chapter 4

Spock walked quickly and stiffly toward the holodeck with the Romulan Commander in tow, trying to figure out what the looks that Kirk was giving him meant. He could easily tell that though his Captain was being very polite with her, he did not like her one bit. The reason behind this dislike was most puzzling, however.

He wondered if it was just a simple and illogical human prejudice, as she was Romulan and not so long ago, they faced Nero and his crew, who were also Romulan. He knew it couldn’t be that simple though, as his Captain was quite a bit more complex than he gave himself credit for. Was it just the fact that Kirk did not like this woman talking to him?

If it could be believed that Kirk was not interested in Spock for a relationship, then there would be no logical basis for his dislike toward the Romulan Commander for having such this interest in him. Though Kirk was quite adamant in insisting his non-committal intensions toward Spock, his actions and words at times suggested otherwise.

It pained Spock that Kirk really didn’t seem to know what he wanted, and how this kept giving him hopes that he felt were closer to being false with each passing day. He couldn’t help that he wanted Jim with all of his heart and soul and body…he couldn’t help the way that the other had completely enchanted him.

But he was beginning to feel as though his situation was likened to a piece of meat being dangled in front of a dog’s nose. He could see what he wanted, he felt it every time the two of them touched, and yet it was never his. This knowledge was the worst of all.

“So, how is it that this holodeck works, Mr. Spock?” the Romulan Commander spoke finally, breaking his thoughts.

Spock saw that both of them had arrived at the holodeck, and that his deep thoughts had prevented him from realizing it. He stood further at attention at her question, and he replied, “We enter into the computer the type of environment we would like to visit, and using information stored in the computer banks, it will recreate this environment for us to the best of its ability, based on information it has available about that environment.”

She then smiled in response and replied, “I have always found waterfalls to be some of nature’s most precious gifts. Would it be possible for the holodeck to create an environment such as that?”

“Most certainly.” Spock replied, keying the necessary codes into the computer to create this environment for her.

When the computer signaled it was done, Spock led the way inside the room. It was a terran rainforest kind of setting, and near the back of the room was a small, but indeed beautiful, waterfall. The holodeck was so convincing, he could feel the water vapor in the air and smell the dampness. He didn’t fully appreciate the capabilities of the holodeck room until this moment.

"This holodeck does live up to my expectations." she finally said, seeming as though she really was enjoying herself.

Spock was glad that she at least was getting the optimal enjoyment out of the room. Though he was definitely commending the individual that created this wondrous invention, but his mind was understandably distracted from things such as this.

"I am glad to hear this." Spock replied finally in an even and almost disinterested tone, not looking a t her, instead fixing his eyes on the waterfall in front of him.

"Do you enjoy this scenery as well, Spock?" she asked him as she approached him, her voice now being tinged with something suggestive.

"It is a nice change from the way Vulcan...used to be." Spock was silent for a moment as he pushed down unwelcomed emotions that threatened to overwhelm him if they were given the chance to do so.

Though a considerable amount of time had passed since the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of his mother, the emotions were still formidable. He was able to cope up to this point only with Jim's help. Jim...it always came back to him.

"It is not surprising to hear that a desert planet was left wanting of this splendor." she said softly as she stepped near him, now also looking at the waterfall.

After standing together a few moments in silence, she then said, "Let us move closer to the water. It might be pleasant to feel it as well as look at it."

Spock said nothing, but he nodded, deciding that hers was a logical conclusion. Perhaps the proximity to the water would succeed in calming him where hours of meditation had failed. As the both of them observed the water cascading down perfectly into a small pool at the bottom, he felt the Romulan Commander stand yet closer to him.

Eventually, when he did not make a single move on his own, she lightly rubbed two fingers over the back of Spock’s hand in a very slow and seductive motion that made a shiver travel up his arm. He hid this well though, and he turned to meet her eyes with a calm face, regarding her with an inquisitive look.

She moved boldly by taking a gentle hold of his hand and she softly said, “Move with me under the waterfall. You cannot say you have truly experienced its majesty without letting the water fall upon you and glide over your whole body.”

Her eyes darkened with desire as she said it, every word dripping with very obvious suggestion. Even if Spock didn’t look it, he was feeling a great deal of conflict over this. He knew what she wanted, and he wondered if he really could go through with it. It was not as though either of them were under the impression that this would amount to anything more, and, truthfully, he was still stinging from Kirk’s rejection of his commitment, so he decided not stop this.

Though Spock did not often have casual relations, he just wanted to stop thinking about his Captain…his t’hy’la…whom he would never have. He let her lead him to stand under the waterfall, and he decided it was like stepping into an old terran shower, nothing like the sonic showers that were standard on the ship.

He took a deep breath and looked at her, keeping still as she moved closer to him, tilting her head up until her mouth was level with his ear, and she whispered in a low tone, “Can you feel the water cling to you, Spock? Can you feel it moving through your hair and over every muscle?”

She then raised a hand to run her fingers down the side of Spock’s face in a long and passionate Vulcan kiss, and the sensation ran equally through the both of them at the motion. When he felt her lips softly come into contact with the bottom of his earlobe, he let his hands come up and rest at her waist, and he stood still to allow her to do as she wished.

Her lips then moved from his ear, down his cheek bone, and then finally to his lips. Spock was restraining most of his reactions, but he let his lips part with his slightly heavier breath to allow her to deepen the kiss. She took advantage of this opportunity and slid her tongue into his mouth, moving it over his in a very sensual way. Spock allowed her all of the control, just kissing back softly enough to show his willingness to participate.

The water made their hair and clothes stick to their bodies as they kissed, and she then moved her hands down his back, quickly hooking her hands under the bottom of both his uniform and under shirts, not wasting any time.

Giving him a very seductive smile, she said, "I wish to see you free of these garments provided to you by the humans. They are far too restrictive, in my opinion."

Spock said nothing, but he did move to make it easier for her to remove it. She seemed to then delight in rubbing her hands all over his bare chest, and Spock allowed himself to let out a small pleasured breath to leave his mouth as she did so. Her hands then rested on the hem of his uniform pants and she began to kiss her way down his chin and neck.

When the pants were also pushed down, she ran her hands up his hips and sides and kissed and licked at his chest. Finally, she stepped back and gave him a sexy smirk, and she began to disrobe herself, being careful to reveal her skin slowly and tantalizingly until she also was only in her undergarments.

“I am sure you have missed the company of women closer to your kind during your service in Starfleet. I assure you that I am nothing like any of those human women.” she said in a low tone, every step she took closer to him careful and deliberate.

Spock readily admitted that this was an arousing situation, realizing only a fool would try to deny these feelings in himself, but he couldn't help but be disappointed by this deep down, since she wasn't his soul mate.

He took a breath and focused his mind on the task at hand. He would not and could not think about Jim in such a manner, since it was all a useless hope. One cannot simply wish something into being, he knew that better than anyone. Being lost in these thoughts for a moment, he didn’t realize that she had gotten close to him again until she was pressing her nearly nude body against him.

She raised her mouth up to his ear again, and whispered huskily, “Touch my body, Spock.”

She underlined her words by then running her tongue along his earlobe, and it was so sudden and unexpected, Spock couldn’t help the shiver that coursed through him as a result. He rested his hands on her waist and then slid them up her sides, deciding her skin was warm…almost a little too warm.

Nothing like Jim’s inviting and cool skin…he gasped when he felt her tongue push further into his ear and her hands slid down his back to grab his ass. He reminded himself that this was a distraction, and that thoughts of Jim had no place here. As if to challenge himself, he then moved his hands more deliberately over her back and began to disengage her brassiere as she now kissed her way down to one of his nipples, taking it into her mouth and running her tongue roughly over it.

Finally, she ran one of he hands over his arousal, and he couldn't help but make a small sound of approval at the action. Spock then put a finger under her chin to gently, but firmly, tilt her head up to meet her lips once again. Perhaps she wasn't Jim, but her attractiveness and talent in the activity could not be denied, and Spock decided that it would be best for him to let her do as she wished and try his best to enjoy it.

He then removed her top garment as they kissed, letting out a hot breath as she continued to stroke him. Now left only in their underwear, she began to walk the both of them closer to a large rock that was under the waterfall, and then leaned herself very invitingly over it.

The seductive smile was back on her face as she hooked her hands under the band of her underwear and slowly pushed them off of herself. She then held out a hand to beckon him closer.

"A Romulan woman is nothing like a human one." she practically purred at Spock when he complied with her, then beginning to push down the last article of clothing as she continued to speak, "We are not nearly as fragile and take much pride in our ability to handle our mens' full strength."

She raised an eyebrow at him and so challenged him to test her statement. Spock then leaned himself over her and kissed her deep, her skin rubbing against his in a delicious way with the coolness and wetness caused by the water on their bodies from the waterfall, and the water vapor that was ever present in the air.

He felt her bury her fingers in his hair and pull his body on top of hers, and he tried his best to settle himself on her in the most gentle way possible and this caused her to chuckle lightly.

“Please do not feel that you must treat me with care. I would much rather see you pushing me to my limits.” She said in an amused and provocative way, but then her tone darkened considerably as she continued to speak, “Take me now, Spock.”

Spock then looked at her and took a deep breath, his heart rate considerably elevated from this encounter, and his breath coming out in short pants. Though her request was a logical expectation from the chain of events, he felt a strange kind of anxiousness at the idea. He refused to consider the root of this feeling, however, because it was inevitably something to do with Jim, and he refused to entertain those thoughts at this time.

To dispel any further thought, he nodded and gracefully positioned himself above her, and then buried himself inside of her in a quick thrust. He found her face quite fascinating as he created a rhythm between them, and decided that this was pleasant. Her eyes burned with her desire and soon she was moving her hips against his to cause his thrusts to go deeper.

“Harder!” she practically commanded, and Spock easily complied.

With so much of their bodies in contact, Spock could feel what she needed, and he couldn’t deny that he would like completion himself. Though this definitely wasn’t like any time with Jim, where he could so easily lose control of himself, he felt himself approaching his orgasm quickly with her squeezing so tight around him. Wishing to please her, he moved inside of her fast and hard, and the deep groans and gasps he heard in response let him know he was on the right track.

Finally she was pushed over the edge with a loud cry and she took Spock with her as the amount of stimulation he was receiving was impossible to withstand. He held on to her as they gathered themselves, and he naturally recovered much quicker than her, due to his Vulcan training. And, he long acknowledged that Jim was the only person that could devastate him to a point where he would need a significant amount of recovery time.

He pushed that thought out of his mind as he felt an illogical stab of guilt. There was no reason that he could not enjoy others’ company, especially due to his Captain’s view of how their situation should be. When he felt as though she had recovered an acceptable amount, he carefully distanced himself and then worked on getting his wet clothes back on.

She did the same, but she carefully watched all of his movements as he dressed. Internally he felt a little embarrassed at her scrutiny, but he did not let this show as he said, “My shift is to start in twenty point four six minutes, and I would like to visit my quarters to change before that time. Please allow me to escort you back to your quarters as I make my way there.”

She raised an eyebrow and then gave him a small knowing smile.

“That would be acceptable.” She remarked when she was fully dressed in her also soaked clothes.

Before they made their way out of the waterfall pool, she put a hand on his chest and placed one more kiss on his lips, then meeting eyes with him for a moment before pulling fully away to move towards the entrance into the holodeck. The moment that the two of them exited the room, their clothes, hair, and bodies were back to being as dry as ever, as even the water in that room was a complex hologram, and once again, their tryst would be a secret from the rest of the ship.

As the two of them walked swiftly to her room, Spock pushed down the sense of guilt and wrongness he had of the whole situation. On reaching her door, he said quickly and politely, "I will be proceeding to my shift at this time. If there is anything you require, do not hesitate to contact me on the bridge."

"I will keep this in mind." she replied, her eyes as scrutinizing as ever.

Spock nodded and then quickly made his way to his quarters to change before his shift, hoping that seeing his Captain would not increase his guilt.

* * * .

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 3

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:32:08 GMT

Chapter 3

Within the next week, the Enterprise came into contact with a rather hostile Romulan ship, and due to the nature of the Romulans on board, they did not surrender, even if it was obvious they could not overpower the Enterprise. There ended up being only one survivor, and she was the commander of that ship.

When she was beamed aboard the Enterprise, she did not resist arrest, but she refused to speak with anyone. Kirk informed her that she would not be treated as a prisoner during the time spent on the ship, but would be installed in one of the guest quarters during her ride over to the closest Starbase.

Kirk had been keeping away from Spock completely after their last encounter, not even asking the other for a friendly chess match like they used to do, deciding that he’d done enough damage as it was. Spock asked for time to forget, and Kirk knew he had to give it to him, no matter how much he didn’t want to. Deciding to return to the bridge after speaking shortly with the Romulan Commander, he ordered Spock to make sure she got to her quarters and then to return to the bridge.

At least that would give him a few minutes without the tension he felt when he and Spock were in the same room. He was now sure that he’d only made the situation between he and Spock much worse.

* * *

The matter with the Captain was also weighing quite heavily on Spock’s mind, and this did not change as he led the Romulan Commander over to the quarters she had been assigned.

On reaching the room, Spock said evenly and politely, “Here is the room you are to stay in during your time on the Enterprise. It is one of our most comfortable guest quarters, and it is stocked well with reading materials for you. Should you require anything else, do not hesitate to contact either myself or Captain Kirk at any time through our communicators.”

“You are not like them. How is it that you can stand being around these humans as often as you are?” she asked, looking at Spock questioningly, seemingly breaking her self imposed vow of almost silence.

“Though humans have proved to be quite illogical time and again, I have found no better companionship than my fellow crew members on the Enterprise.” Spock said, his voice softening just slightly, but most people would probably miss it.

Kirk was not likely to, but most others definitely would have. His thoughts about Kirk were shaken when he saw her raising a curious eyebrow at his statement.

“Your statement in its own sounds illogical. I do not believe humans are truly capable of understanding beings such as you or myself.” she finally said, looking him over in a very appraising kind of manner.

He then wordlessly opened the quarters door for her and then he said, “I must be returning to the bridge now.”

“So soon? I have much to learn of human customs, and it would be nice to have an experienced guide on the subject.” She said, motioning for him to join her inside the quarters.

Spock hesitated for a moment. He could easily tell that she had ulterior motives for inviting him inside, but his current problems with Kirk left him with no quick desire to return to the bridge. He figured that perhaps this situation would provide him with a welcome distraction from his problems, so he finally nodded and enter the room.

When the door closed behind him, he spoke calmly, “I suppose I could spare a few additional moments to further your education of human customs.”

She approached him with a graceful kind of gait and stood tall and proud. Spock had to admit that she was quite an attractive woman, and was of a strong personality. It reminded him a lot of Kirk in that aspect.

“One thing I was most interested in was…” her voice took somewhat of a sultry tone, “…how these humans express their regard for one another. On Romulus, one deserving of such regard is known by all…”

She looked even more carefully at Spock now, edging just a little closer, “It is in their voice, in their step, in their face…in their eyes.”

Now she was just a foot away from Spock, and he found that he didn’t have his usual urge to step backwards, this Romulan having a strangely alluring effect on him. He knew exactly what was on her mind now, and really…he was trying to come up with a logical reason in his head to stop her. He wanted to move on…to forget…and maybe this was just what he needed.

“What is your name?” she demanded softly.

“I am Commander Spock of the USS Enterprise. I am this ship’s Chief Science Officer and First Officer.” He said, standing at attention, his hands clasped stiffly behind his back, “And…you are?”

“I am N'Tarlahe. I am one of the high commanders in the Romulan Fleet. Though, I hope we may be able to interact…on a more personal basis.” she said, giving him a tiny smile.

“I believe it may be possible. ” Spock said, his tone getting minutely softer, but it stayed as even as it ever was.

Her smile grew slightly and her tone got impossibly more sensual, “We Romulans usually take what we want when we want it, but I do believe that we would not be harmed by having the finesse of a Vulcan on our side.”

“It is a logical thought.” Spock breathed back, watching intently as she raised two fingers and caressed softly down the side of his face.

He closed his eyes and controlled his instinct to blush, trying to control his heart rate. When he finally opened them again, he found her smiling seductively at him, and it caused him to take in a deep breath. He then raised two fingers of his own to meet with hers and he rubbed over the front and back of them carefully, feeling a small shiver pass up his arm at the contact.

Yes, it indeed was nice, but this still wasn’t Jim. It wasn’t his t’hy’la.

“You are most stimulating in…conversation, Spock.” she unabashedly flirted with him now, staring him down with her intense eyes and running those fingers over his lips.

Spock let her do as she pleased, his lips parting just slightly under her attentions. Her fingers then made their way down his chin and neck to his chest. He then too raised his fingers to caress down her cheek and over her lips as well. He was sure that all of this was highly unprofessional, but he decided to let it go on a little longer, secretly liking the attention a little bit after the painful rejection from Kirk.

He didn’t care that she was doing all of this for her own reasons, and he strangely didn’t care that she was a Romulan either. He came to the conclusion that part of her allure was owed to the fact that she did things in a very logical and sensible manner, unlike the previous Romulans he had the misfortune of encountering. She obviously felt that if she had someone from Starfleet Command on her side, she would fair better in what she would be facing in the future as a prisoner of the Federation.

Spock knew that his first and foremost duty was to his ship and Starfleet and this resolve would not easily be changed, even by an attractive woman who was trying to seduce him to her side. But…whatever was happening between them now…he let it happen because they both had their reasons and due to his selfish needs.

This continued for some more minutes, just tentative touches that seemed to promise so much more, sticking strictly to Vulcan kisses, and he could tell that she was breathless. He more carefully controlled his reactions, but he had to admit that he was slightly heavier of breath due to all of the stimulation to his sensitive hands.

Finally he stepped back from her and spoke in his business tone, anyone that would just walk in none the wiser to his definitely inappropriate activities with her, “I am due most urgently to the bridge now, as the Captain had ordered me to return swiftly.”

She took a calming breath herself and she raised an eyebrow at him, saying, “Perhaps we may continue this conversation at a later time?”

“Yes, perhaps.” Spock said, giving her a nod and then quickly vacating the quarters.

He wasn’t quite sure what he was getting himself involved in, but whatever it was…it was better than thinking constantly about the way that Kirk turned him down in that almost apologetic kind of way. He halfway wondered if it was himself that was lacking in some area, but there was no way he could try changing himself it he wasn’t sure what had caused Kirk’s aversion.

No, it was just something that had to be forgotten with time. And this…at least this gave him something else to focus on for the time being.

* * *

In the days following the capture of the Romulan Commander, Kirk was really starting to miss spending time with Spock. Not only had he lost his proverbial ‘fuck buddy,’ he’d lost his good friend, and knowing that it was really all his fault was the worst. He wondered if he should try talking to the other again to repair their relationship in some way, but now Spock had also seemed to go out of his way to make himself scarce.

Kirk thought that he finally would have the chance to talk to the other when he spotted Spock in the main rec room on the ship, but he quickly saw that his First was in an apparently very engrossing conversation with that Romulan Commander.

Something about the sight just irritated the hell out of him and he couldn’t say what. He figured it was the fact that his First Officer was canoodling with a Romulan that tried to destroy his beloved Enterprise. Just what was Spock playing at anyway?

He decided to crash the party and try to find out. He approached the two of them and spoke in he most polite but cool tone he could manage, "I hope you've found your stay on the Enterprise so far to your liking."

"Surprisingly so, Captain Kirk. I have found certain members of your crew to be quite engaging." she replied, an almost challenging smile coming to her lips as she shot a look over to Spock.

Kirk was a little glad that Spock gave this no outward reaction, but it also frustrated Kirk since it told him nothing about how Spock truly felt about her or the situation. He could just trust that Spock was definitely too smart to actually be reeled into whatever she was surely plotting.

So if Spock was too smart to really be manipulated by her, then why was her attempt getting on his nerves this much? Grudgingly he admitted it would probably be something he would try himself if he were in her situation, so there was no reason for him to be feeling any of this. No reason...

Kirk realized he'd spaced out for a moment and then he replied with his own challenging smile, "I'm glad to hear that. I've told the crew to treat you with the upmost respect and I'm glad to see that's been the case."

He then shot his own look at Spock and he swore he saw something flash in his eyes this time. Was it...pain? Kirk couldn't be sure since the look was gone so fast he wasn't sure it was there in the first place.

Kirk's thoughts were broken again when the Romulan Commander spoke suddenly, "I have thoroughly studied the layout of the Enterprise through he ship's library and was pleased to learn that the ship has a holodeck. Quite an impressive one at that, if records can be trusted."

“Yes, it is true. Its actually a luxury that is afforded only to Starfleet’s flagship.” Kirk replied proudly, not resisting the urge to show off his ship.

Her eyes then turned to Spock with her reply, “Is that right? I would be most interested in seeing it, if that is possible.”

This really irritated Kirk, but he was shocked when he heard Spock’s response, “As I am not on duty at this time, I believe it would be possible to show it to you. If that is acceptable to you, Captain.”

Spock’s voice was downright aloof and polite, and that cut straight into Kirk. He wasn’t going to deny that to himself…he liked that he had gotten the other to feel more comfortable around him over time when they weren’t on duty, and for Spock to revert back to the way he was months before definitely hurt. Not that he would let that show on his face, especially in front of the Romulan Commander.

“Of course.” he finally said with a nod, hoping that none of his feelings were betrayed on his face or in his eyes, “Enjoy yourselves. I will see you tomorrow on the bridge, Mr. Spock.”

“Yes, sir.” Spock replied with a nod before standing from the chair he was sitting in and waiting for the Romulan Commander to do the same.

Kirk watched the two of them leave the room and he tried his best to ignore the disconcerting jealousy that roiled in his gut as a result.

* * *

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 2

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:22:53 GMT

Chapter 2

On the conclusion of their shifts, Kirk was determined to speak to Spock, who, unfortunately, still seemed to be avoiding him. He would take care of this one way or another. And he knew the best way to keep Spock from escaping would be to approach him in his quarters, so he did just this.

Buzzing insistently at the door, he indicated who he was when prompted, and then waited for the door to open. This part made him the most nervous since here Spock could actually choose not to let him in if he didn’t want to see him and he knew that the situation didn’t warrant the use of his emergency unlock code, so he just waited.

He let out a sigh of relief when the door finally slid open and he walked inside. The place was as ordered as he had ever remembered it being, their past liaisons ending here at times, but his mind was suddenly brought back to the matter at hand when Spock suddenly spoke.

“Is there something you required urgently, sir?” his voice was crisp and cool and implied he was not really willing to entertain anything but conversation about work.

Kirk then steeled his resolve to have this conversation no matter what as he replied, “No, I want to talk to you about a personal matter.”

“Can it not wait? I was about to settle for a period of sleep.”

Kirk now took a closer look at the other, and he was indeed no longer in his usual Starfleet uniform. He now was in some kind of black velvety looking robe. Suddenly he wondered what was under that robe…was Spock just in his underwear? In nothing at all? Kirk knew in that moment he would most like to find that out.

“No, it can’t wait.” Kirk took a breath before he kept talking, “I just wanted to tell you I was sorry for how I reacted to what you were telling me the last time we were alone. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

Kirk swore he saw some hurt flash in Spock’s eyes for just a moment before he said, “It is illogical and unnecessary to apologize for something you do not truly feel sorry for.”

“I don’t want things to change between us.” Kirk said, feeling another twinge of that guilt, but he ignored it.

“Perhaps we both should have thought about this before we engaged in intercourse.” Spock’s voice was so even as he said this and something about it got on Kirk’s nerves.

“I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything, Spock.” Kirk replied in slight irritation.

“What’s done is done, Captain.” hearing Spock using that stiff but polite tone with him in such a personal setting just served to get Kirk even more irritated, especially since it caused even more guilt about the whole situation to well up inside of him.

Kirk stepped resolutely toward Spock and said in a hard tone, “So that’s it then? You just want to give it all up?”

Spock was silent for a long moment before he replied quietly, “I wish to do nothing of the sort, but it would do me no good to continue wishing for what cannot be, Jim.”

Spock’s voice was filled with a thinly masked pain, and suddenly he was moving without thinking, taking a firm hold in Spock’s robes to pull him closer to him so that there were mere inches away from each other and he spoke in an almost command, “I want you.”

The half Vulcan’s eyes had widened slightly in surprise, and Kirk could easily see the desire there. This caused him to smirk slightly, and he continued to draw Spock even closer to him as his voice turned husky, “I want to push you against this wall behind me and take you.”

Since they were so close, Kirk could even hear the other breathing, so he definitely didn’t miss the hitch that his words caused in Spock’s breath, and then the other whined back softly, “Jim…”

Kirk knew that was it for him, because whenever he heard Spock’s voice like that, it drove him wild. He crashed their lips together in a messy, open mouthed kiss, and he began to walk them over to the wall behind him to carry out on his promise.

Spock kissed him back with fervor and his hands were hurriedly divesting Kirk of his uniform with quick efficiency. Kirk knew that this was one time that he especially enjoyed Spock’s efficiency, so he tried to keep out of the other’s way as they kissed and touched and licked and sucked…Kirk had lost his breath by the time he felt his heels bumping the wall he was backing them towards.

By this time, Kirk had pushed down Spock’s robe and found that he was in his underwear. Well, that definitely wouldn’t be for long. He switched their positions and pushed Spock forcefully against the wall, locking lips with him and pushing his body as hard against the other’s as he could as they kissed. He pushed down his own underwear and then slowly removed Spock’s, moving his lips down to the half-Vulcan’s neck.

Hearing the soft moans from the other just spurred him on, positioning himself to grind against the other in a torturously slow way when they both were naked, intending to tease a bit, but he found his thrusts against the other getting more frantic and erratic when he felt the other returning his movements.

He knew he couldn’t wait any longer. He raised two fingers up and ran them sensually over Spock’s lips, giving him the silent cue to open his mouth and take his fingers in. The other finally did so, laving them with his tongue and coating them liberally with his saliva. Kirk loved to watch Spock do this, the concentration he always devoted to the task an enormous turn on.

Finally, and in slight reluctance, Kirk removed his fingers from the other’s mouth, then urging the other to turn around and place his hands on the wall, and bend over in an attractive way in front of him. As soon as Spock was in position, Kirk began to work those moistened fingers inside of the other, pushing his body against Spock’s back and groaning in the other’s ear at the tight heat around his fingers.

“Please, Jim…I am ready.” Spock moaned softly to him, and at this Kirk carefully removed his fingers, positioned himself at Spock’s entrance, and began to push in.

He made sure that when he got as far as he could go in, he put his arms around the other, and made sure as much of their bodies were touching as they could as he allowed Spock to get used to him. He felt his own arousal throbbing in need, and he felt Spock’s heart thrumming in his side.

“Hnn…Spock.” Kirk breathed back to the other as he began a slow rhythm between them.

Soon enough, Spock was pushing back against Kirk’s thrusts and silently begging for the other to move faster, move deeper, and to take him with more force. Kirk definitely didn’t disappoint, as his movements quickly became erratic and wild due to his own need. As he felt himself getting close, Kirk knew that Spock must also be, so he reached around the other to grab a hold of the half-Vulcan’s extremely stiff arousal and begin to stroke it in time with his movements.

Finally, with the sound of their flesh slapping together, their grunts and moans, their harsh breaths, and the feel of Spock’s hot skin under his fingertips, Kirk was finally pushed over the edge, burying himself as deep inside the other as he could and pushing his face into the other’s neck, finding the other’s scent to be comforting in a strange way.

With a few additional strokes by his hand, Spock came as well with a hitch in his breath, leaning weakly against the wall for a few moments as he held up both his and Kirk’s weights. When Kirk felt the other stop trembling under the effort of holding them both up, he encouraged the other to turn around so that he could embrace him.

Kirk had never made it a habit to hold or cuddle with anyone else he’d slept with, but for some reason, with Spock it always seemed important and almost essential. He felt as though it was a harmless extension of the sexual act, so there was no reason to over think the reasoning behind it. This time was no different, holding the now calm and satisfied Spock in his arms as he lightly rubbed the other’s back softly.

Spock shifted slightly so that he could kiss the side of Kirk’s neck softly and then he whispered a single word so quietly that it almost wasn’t heard by Kirk, “T’hy’la.”

Kirk stiffened unconsciously when he heard it. Though he did not know the meaning of the word, since it obviously was Vulcan, the incredibly intimate and personal way it was spoken to him gave him a clue. But the mood between them was suddenly broken by Kirk’s uneasiness, and he instantly felt guilty for ruining this nice moment between them. For just a second, he could believe that things were back to the way they used to be between them, but hearing that word spoken softly against his ear proved otherwise.

Spock then also stiffened so much that it seemed as though is body was trying to apologize for letting that word slip, and quickly the other distanced himself from him. Kirk found himself immediately missing the warmth from the other, but his thoughts were pushed aside by Spock’s words, “Jim, it is now most obvious to me that I cannot do this anymore. Please, respect my feelings. If you cannot return them, then this is fine, but do not make me feel as though you are toying with me for your personal gain.”

“Spock, I’m not toying with you!” Kirk said, sounding irritated and apologetic all at once.

“Then, I must ask you not return to my quarters in the evening this way, with expectations such as these, again. I can be your Chief Science Officer, your First Officer, and your friend…but do not ask anything more from me.” his voice was cool and firm, and left no room for argument.

Kirk hated that tone from Spock the most, since the other most often used it to talk himself out of things that could be great opportunities, at least in Kirk’s opinion. Since Kirk just looked at him thoughtfully and frowned slightly, Spock decided that he must add to his reasoning as to why they should no longer have private meetings such as these.

“Jim…you make it quite difficult for me to control myself and my emotions in situations such as these, and with you unable to return my commitment, further physical couplings would just serve to give me more pain over the issue.” Though Spock’s face looked the same as it often did when they had conversations on the bridge, his eyes were extremely troubled, “I will be unable to forget the feelings that most unintentionally had formed for you.”

The sinking feeling of guilt that was growing with every one of Spock’s words had now settled uncomfortably in his stomach, and he wasn’t sure if there was another time in his life he felt more like a user and an asshole. He just looked back at Spock apologetically, not sure what he could say without seeming even more like a jerk.

Spock seemed to take Kirk’s silence as acquiescence to his words and so he finally added, “In this case, I also must ask for you to leave right after you dress, since you staying the night here would just add to my internal conflict.”

On saying this, Spock hurried to put his underwear and his robe back on, hurriedly covering up as much of himself as possible and then waited patiently for Kirk to dress. It killed Kirk to hear Spock like this, so good at hiding the pain, but little things still gave the other away. The look in the half-Vulcan’s eyes, the slight tonal changes in the other’s voice…maybe it was a good thing he was leaving. He was sure that the longer he stayed with Spock now, the worse his guilt would eat him alive.

“Well…see you on the bridge, Spock.” Kirk said with a soft nod, not sure how else to say goodbye in a situation like this.

“Yes, Captain. Good night.” He said, opening the door to the hall when Kirk was descent.

“Good night.” Kirk gave him one last look before making his way to his own quarters, just a short walk down the hall.

That night though, it felt like an awfully cold and long walk indeed.

* * *

Just Out of Grasp - Chapter 1

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 22:24:11 GMT

Chapter 1

"Jim, I don't...understand." Spock’s face went completely blank and Kirk felt a strange kind of twinge at this.

"I don't know if I can explain it any better than that, Spock. It's just...beyond me."

"Am I to understand then that you are unwilling to let our commitment to each other extend beyond our occasional sexual couplings?" Kirk wasn’t stupid, he could hear the faint hurt in Spock’s tone over his words, and he didn’t enjoy that, but there was no use in trying to change the facts.

"No, I'm not unwilling. I'm unable. There's a difference, you know. And don't look at me like that." Kirk tried to speak with a bit of humor to lighten up the situation, but he could tell that Spock was rather far from feeling any sort of amusement in this moment.

"I believe I still am failing to grasp your meaning. Is this an attempt at humor that I am misunderstanding?"

"Spock. I don't do relationships. I don't do deep feelings and commitment. The only thing I can give you is sex." Kirk tried to speak as plainly as possible and not let any of his own feelings get involved.

This is why he didn’t want any sort of relationship. These feelings made him feel too weak and vulnerable for his liking. He didn’t want to depend on anyone…he didn’t want to feel like he needed anyone. He needed to be his own being and a relationship turned everything from ‘I’ to ‘we’ whether one liked it or not. Kirk was never and would never be a ‘we.’

He enjoyed friendship and camaraderie thoroughly, but love? He was afraid that would turn him into someone that he didn’t want to be.

"I...see." Kirk felt his resolve slipping just the slightest when he heard a kind of defeated acceptance in Spock’s voice when he finally responded to what he said, but he took a deep breath and tried to stand his ground.

"I...I thought we both understood what we were getting into. Now I see that wasn't the case." Kirk tried to now speak as sympathetically as possible, not wanting to upset Spock any further, hoping deep down that after some time, they could repair their relationship back to what it was.

"Captain. Being raised as a Vulcan, I feel as though I must explain myself to you as well."

"I'm listening." Kirk decided that he would hear Spock out, not because he would allow the other to change his mind, but because it would simply be too cruel to shut him out and then shove him out of the room due to the subconscious fear that Spock would say something that would do just that.

"We do not easily form strong bonds with others, and the probability of forming such bonds with those not of our race is much lower. But...when these bonds are formed, they are not easily broken." Spock seemed to be giving him a meaningful look at this, his face very serious.

"So you're telling me that Vulcans form bonds for keeps, is it?" Kirk chuckled lightly as he spoke, still trying to lighten up the situation a bit more, trying to smooth things out a bit.

"Such commitments are never entered into lightly." Spock affirmed, seemingly impervious to Kirk’s attempts.

"And, you've told me this because you've decided that I'm the one you'd like such a bond with, and I can't really change your mind about it because you've already made your decision?" Kirk began to get a little impatient, feeling irrationally as though he was being forced into something, when Spock was really doing no such thing.

Kirk just didn’t like a situation where, at the back of his mind, he suspected that his position just might be the wrong one to take.

"Not quite in those words, but something to that effect, yes."

"God, Spock. I can't believe that you of all people is doing this to me." Kirk just let out an exasperated sigh at this, feeling as though he wasn’t getting through to Spock at all.

"Doing...?" Kirk could see that the other seemed half way confused at what he was saying, and he realized that he would have to clarify, even if that would risk hurting his feelings more.

Kirk had to get right to the truth in this, even if it were a bit of an ugly one. He knew that he had to treat this like pulling off a bandaid. This wasn’t like all the other girls he’d slept with and who got attached to him as a result. Some how, this being Spock just put this situation in a whole different ballpark. One, in which, any pain he caused the other over this making him feel extremely guilty.

Another reason why he didn’t like relationships. He didn’t want to deal with all the irrational feelings of guilt that came along with all of it.

"You're a Vulcan. I thought you were the last person who'd get attached." He tried to sound amused, but he thought it may have come out a little more impatiently than he’d intended.

Spock was silent for a long moment after he said this, and he almost wanted to take back his words. He wished he knew what was going on inside that Vulcan head of his, but now his eyes suddenly seemed quite closed off and his mouth slowly set itself into a thin line.

"I believe it would be quite illogical to continue this conversation when we obviously cannot come to any sort of agreement. You may consider our arrangement terminated at this time, as I do not believe it would do either of us any good when we both want a different result from the interaction."

"Oh, Spock, you don't have to get like that! You're too damn good in bed to give up just like that." Kirk said in slight apology, trying to reach out to touch the other’s cheek.

Spock drew away from the touch as though he’d been burned and that hurt Kirk the most.

"Unfortunately, Captain, I am sure it would be detrimental for me to keep wanting something that cannot happen, and it would be advisable for me to remove myself from the situation to allay my desires." He said as he hurriedly began to dress, not daring to make eye contact with Kirk anymore.

"Look, I think you're just feeling confused with all the closeness. It happens to the best of us. And, it will eventually pass." Kirk tried to soften his tone as he spoke, wanting to get the other to listen, but it appeared to be of no use.

"...I should leave now. I will see you tomorrow on the bridge at the beginning of alpha shift." Spock spoke stiffly, finally getting on his boots and abruptly standing up from the bed in the Captain’s room.

He then strode quickly to the door.

"No, Spock, wa--" Kirk tried to stop him, but the other left his quarters and didn’t look back.

* * *

The next day on the bridge, Kirk did his best to act as though everything was completely normal between the both of them, but he felt as though you could cut the tension between them with a knife. It was like the bad break up that he never wanted. What made it all so much worse was that this wasn’t just random girl he picked up at a bar or met at the Academy. This was his First Officer, whom he was supposed to be in harmony with, at least most of the time, and it was obvious that a personal matter had come between them, even when it was expected that their duty to Starfleet had priority to everything else.

He wanted to fix it somehow, but really what could he do? Though the mood between both of them had deteriorated slightly, lacking some of the warmth that it had before, Spock’s work had not gone down in efficiency and the other still interacted with him politely, though he definitely acted far more aloof with him than he had for a long time.

This wasn’t just his First Officer. This was his friend. A friend that he’d had to work hard to gain, but he’d still managed it, after all the animosity they had gone through together. And, to his surprise, he not only gained friendship, but a strange kind of attraction between them that had blossomed into the ‘friends with benefits’ sort of relationship Kirk thought they had, but obviously, Spock felt it was something more.

And maybe there were moments when it was, such as some times after sex they’d just lain in each other’s arms, comfortable in each other’s warmth and closeness…in the privacy of his own mind, Kirk was able to admit that he had a sneaking bout of affection in those times for Spock, but he’d of course pushed that down wh en he’d regained his senses. Now that he looked back on those times, he realized that, over the time they’d been having these encounters with each other, it had always taken longer to get back to his senses.

And now he felt as though he’d destroyed his friendship with Spock. But this whole situation was out of his hand at Spock’s misunderstanding. How could he apologize to the other for what was the truth? He figured that he would just have to ride this whole thing out and that Spock would eventually just get over him. That’s what everyone else had to do anyway.

Get over him, move on, forget. Kirk could tell that he was giving Spock quite a tall order with this since they were around each other almost constantly on a daily basis. The times were rare, but this was one where he would concede that he was a complete bastard, especially when he turned Spock down after he knew how hard it was for the other to open up to him that way.

He would not cave, since it wouldn’t do either of the m any good when he just knew he wasn’t the type to commit. And he knew a bit about Vulcan bonds. They lasted a life time. Forever. It wasn’t something that could be changed or ended when both parties decided the fun was over. There was no way he could get into something like that when he hadn’t been in a relationship that lasted for more than a week.

Kirk was glad when his shift came to an end. All this thinking was getting to be too much, and he decided that he really just needed a drink. He happened to catch Scotty after his shift and invited him over to his quarters to have said drink, finding over time that the other made quite the drinking buddy. He was fiercely loyal, and if you told him something that was troubling you during one of these drinking sessions, no matter how stupid you thought it was, he’d try his best to help you.

Sure he might laugh at you and tease you a bit before he helped, but really, it was the thought that counted. And as they both downed their third glasses of whiskey, Kirk was starting to feel more ready to talk.

“Scotty, why am I such a bastard?” Kirk said, his speech not quite slurred, but it was easy to tell he wasn’t quite sober any more either.

“Well, I dunno, Jim. It’s hard to pinpoint just one reason.” He said in his teasing voice, chuckling and taking another sip of his drink.

“No, seriously. Because I think Spock hates me.” Kirk said in slight bitterness, downing the rest of his fourth glass and slamming it down on the table.

“I thought Mr. Spock was just a generally crabby person. You know, like he’s got this enormous titanium rod shoved up his -- ”

“Spock’s got reason to hate me, Scotty.” Kirk was silent for a moment before he continued speaking, everything tumbling out, “I’ve slept with him, you know. Been sleeping with him a while.”

Kirk had to chuckle himself when that statement from him made Scotty almost choke on his drink, but when he recovered, he looked at him like he was crazy and said, “You’ve managed to get a Vulcan in your bed? Especially that Vulcan? Good god, Jim…I’m not sure where you got skills like that, but I’m sure I wouldn’t mind if you taught me some of them!”
Kirk then laughed a little mirthlessly and he said, “I wouldn’t go after any Vulcans if I were you, Scotty. They play for keeps.”

“So that mean…you’re actually off the market? You and he are…?” Scotty asked with his eyebrows raised in shock.

Kirk shook his head and a tiny bit of guilt snuck into his tone as he replied with a sigh, “No, it’s not like that…but I…I can tell he wants something like that.”

“Well, if you don’t, then you should tell him that before any feelings really get hurt then.” Scotty suggested, his face filled with mild concern.

Kirk just let out another sigh at this and said, “I think I’ve gotten myself in over my head as it is. Don’t worry though, I’ll think of a way to fix things.”

Scotty then stuck to silence for a few moments, letting both of them sip their drinks for that time when he finally changed the subject, “Well, I’ve really got no interest in Vulcans. I’m actually more interested in Lieutenant Uhura…now that she’s not with Spock, that is. Obviously.”

Then a teasing look came into Kirk’s eyes as he said, “Uhura, huh? She definitely is quite the dish. Smart, hot…but she will be hard to win over, so good luck on that.”

“Aye, I feel like I’ve got my work cut out for me there.” Scotty said in mock defeat, though Kirk was sure he wouldn’t have said anything if he wasn’t actually feeling a little unsure about everything.

“Don’t worry, Scotty. I’ve never known a woman who was able to resist a Scotsman that was trying to woo them.” Kirk said, chuckling a bit again.
“I suppose if you put it that way, I’ve got nothing to worry about!” Scotty said, playfully clinking his glass together with Kirk’s.

Now Kirk wished things were just as easy in his own situation. Easy or not though, he knew that he had to talk to Spock as soon as possible. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but he was definitely going to do something about this.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 14

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:26:04 GMT

Chapter 14

The moment that their shifts were over, Kirk all but dragged the other to his quarters, unable to wait an extra second. He never did patience all that well anyway. When he’d gotten the both of them in the room, and the door shut behind them, Kirk just stared unabashedly at the other, not getting a real chance to do that since Spock was brought back on the ship.

His eyes carefully traveled down Spock’s face, and he felt his breath hitching at the tender look he found in those eyes, the special look he knew was reserved only for him…and then his eyes moved down the other’s body, finding all of the differences he found to be exciting and very interesting.

“Spock…” Kirk finally said softly, reaching his hand up to touch the other’s face gently, and he noted how different it felt for Spock to be around the same height as him now and for his jaw to feel more square shaped than before.

He then brought the half Vulcan in for a kiss that was light and testing, his tongue lazily trailing over the other’s lips as his hands ran over the other’s body in an exploratory caress, in no rush to do anything, the whole point of this exercise to map out the changes to Spock’s body and to relish them as he found them.

Spock closed his eyes and whispered softly, “Jim…”

The voice was different, but it still sent a shiver right up his spine, and this caused him to smirk and then lock the other in a more intense kiss. He also busied himself with getting Spock out of those odd clothes that the Vuctornas had given him, starting with the jacket and shirt.

Kirk realized they were made of some fine, smooth, and delicate material that felt nice under his fingertips as he removed it from Spock’s body. His hands trembled slightly as he ran his hands up the other’s chest, getting used to the straight, muscular, flat chest and lack of curves.

God, it was completely different than he was used to, but it was still amazing. And hot…goddamn was it hot. Now Spock was touching him too as he began to kiss his way down the other’s neck.

He was pleased to see that the other still seemed well versed in what he liked as Spock ran his hands over his chest and back in the slow, firm way he enjoyed most, causing him to shudder and sigh. It was so strange how this was all new, with the way those hands were now larger than he was used to, but it was still all the same since those hands touched him in the way they always had before.

Kirk and Spock’s clothes soon had all met the floor and Kirk moved them over to the bed. He encouraged the other to lay back so that he’d get the chance to get a good look at him naked. His body was as beautiful as ever, though significantly different.

Spock, you’re so beautiful, god, I wish I had thought to look at you properly before you were turned into a girl. Kirk thought in amusement, some of his desire for Spock coming through their bond loud and clear.

You will have forever more to look at me as you please, t’hy’la. Spock thought back to him in affection.

That made Kirk quickly get on top of the other and kiss him deeply and passionately, rubbing intimately against the new, yet familiar body under him, burying his hands in Spock’s hair. Maybe there was a whole lot less hair on his head now than there was before, but it still felt the same, still silky and wonderful.

Kirk moved against the other, finally feeling Spock beginning to writhe against him, and then his curiosity got the better of him. He slid himself slowly down Spock’s body, kissing and licking down, until he’d settled himself comfortably between the other’s legs. Without further preamble, Kirk bent his head down to take the other in his mouth, curious as to the other’s taste.

He felt Spock shuddering and head him make soft noises of pleasure as he worked his tongue and mouth around him, and even if he felt a little awkward in doing so, it seemed as though the other was enjoying whatever he was doing thoroughly.

You…you have always been…quite talented with your mouth, t’hy’la…Spock thought to him brokenly, and Kirk moaned around him as he realized that he’d already almost gotten the other to come undone.

He then began to move his mouth faster and he brought his hands up to rub wherever his mouth couldn’t reach. He could feel his mate’s pleasure in his mind and that made his cock twitch. Finally, he felt Spock gently take his face in his hands, and just as Spock lost control, Kirk felt him conveying all his feelings of pleasure right to him.

It was so intense that he almost lost it himself, but he held on, not wanting come without the other having touched him at all. Spock took a few deep breaths to recover and Kirk noted that the other’s taste was remarkably similar like this, and the realization made him smile.

Spock quickly recovered and suddenly was kissing him again. Kirk knew that Spock could feel his need through their bond, and he felt that the half Vulcan was now determined to take care of him as well.

Spock wrapped his arms around him and then he moved a hand down to Kirk’s arousal and began to rub him firmly and quickly, not wanting Kirk to wait. Kirk felt himself writhing and he moaned loudly into Spock’s neck, his hips thrusting lightly into the other’s hand, just wanting to reach completion.

The other did not deny him, as, in seconds, he was coming hard, all over Spock’s fingers and his chest. He never recovered from orgasms as quickly as Spock did, but he didn’t care, just cuddling against the other in a rather sticky, but warm, hug.

“God, you really are just as good in bed.” Kirk murmured into Spock’s ear, placing a soft and lazy kiss on the other’s neck.

“Only my body changed, Jim. Not my mind or my memories.” he said back calmly, but his tone was easily touched with amusement.

Kirk grinned and said, “You don’t know how glad that makes me.”

Spock just hummed in response and stroked the back of Kirk’s head gently in that way he loved after they had been intimate together, and he felt himself beginning to be lulled into sleep. Not different at all…the love and affection coming through their bond was just the same as it always was, and he was sure, would always be.

“Spock…?” Kirk softly said as he was beginning to drop off.

“Yes, Jim?”

“You know, visiting the Vuctornas again soon may not be a bad idea. I’d like to see my girl again sometime, you know.” Kirk said in a totally teasing voice, placing a few more kisses on Spock’s neck.

Spock allowed himself a small smile, and he replied just as teasingly, “This may remain only a fantasy of yours, t’hy’la.”

“Well, I guess I can dream.” Kirk said with a sigh, settling himself even more comfortably against Spock, not even bothered to get up to go to the shower.

Spock showed no hurry to move them along to the shower either, seeming to be content in just holding on to him. Kirk was glad for this.

Spock, I love you…always will.

And I, you, Jim. For the rest of my days.

And Kirk knew it was the truth. This comfort was the last thing he needed to drift off in the warmth of Spock’s arms, knowing that though the future was something unknown, their love and bond could always be counted on.

The Inevitable - Chapter 13

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:48:26 GMT

Chapter 13

Kirk had Chekov plot their course for Magos VI and had Sulu get them there as quick as possible. This was certainly urgent business. Within a few days, the Enterprise was orbiting the planet and he, Spock, and McCoy were making the final preparations to beam down. They all finally gathered in the transporter room, and they took their places in the pod.

Kirk turned to look at Spock and found her looking at him as well. Beautiful…he’d always remember Spock as a girl like this. Stunningly beautiful without having to try. A look of affection came to his eyes and he held out a hand for her to take, not caring that they were being watched by the others in the room.

When she did, he gave it a squeeze and felt their shared warmth and love pulsing through their bond. This could never change, he was sure of it. Very reluctantly releasing her hand, he then nodded to Scotty and said, “All right, energize.”

They dematerialized and then rematerialized in the same place they did almost one year before, and there the same two Vuctornas were waiting for them. King Terilooth and Queen L’reg. The king approached them and said in a slightly apologetic tone, “It is quite an honor to speak with you again, Captan James Kirk, though these circumstances are regrettable.”

Kirk just nodded. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, since it was the King and Queen that put them in all this trouble in the first place. Though, at this point in time, he couldn’t say he was all that angry at them anymore, since he was now together with Spock due to their interference.

“Please, follow us this way.” L’reg said as she led the way back into that palace of theirs.

The landing party and the Vuctornas exchanged few words on the way to the palace, both parties feeling as though there wasn’t much for them to converse about, and that any real talk could be done after the procedure was completed.

Soon all of them were back inside the ornate palace, and it seemed that the Vuctornas were ready to get straight to the matter at hand.

“We will be taking your second in command with us to rescind our Taritha rites and then return him to his male form.” Terilooth said, beckoning to Spock to stand next to him.

Kirk knew that Spock felt his irrational worry at letting her go with them, and she thought back, It will be all right, Jim. They will not harm me.

Kirk glanced between the two of them and back to Spock, quickly thinking back, I hope you’re right, because who knows what else they could do to you with their magic?

Spock thought nothing else to him, just sending more of a soothing feeling down their bond as she went to go stand next to the Vuctornas.

“The rescinding of the rites will happen over night as they did before, so we kindly ask you and your Chief Medical Officer to wait in your provided room while this is conducted.” L’reg said to Kirk, looking between he and McCoy.

Kirk immediately felt his protectiveness flair out of his control, but before he could say anything, Spock thought to him, Be calm, t’hy’la. This culture has its secrets as all cultures do. Let us respect them.

At this, Kirk let out a breath and just nodded. McCoy realized some sort of communication happened between he and Spock, and it seemed that he was content with asking him about it later.

“Okay, fine. We will wait.” Kirk said reluctantly, stepping backward to stand next to McCoy.

Before the attendant that the king and queen summoned could take the two of them to their room, L’reg spoke softly in a genuine tone, “Our people are truly sorry for any trouble or inconvenience that was caused by our misunderstanding of your culture.”

Kirk was silent for a moment, but a tiny smile came to his face as he replied, “Don’t apologize. Your people have actually done more for me than you’ll know.”

Kirk didn’t elaborate further, just indicating to the attendant that they were ready to be taken to their room.

* * *

McCoy was very careful to test every little edible thing in the room this time to ensure it had not been drugged, and was pleased to find out that it wasn’t.

“We might be safe this time, but I don’t much trust these people, Jim.” McCoy said suspiciously as he stowed away his tricorder.

“Even if I agree with you, Bones, I do owe them a lot.” Kirk said, looking away from him and walking to look out a window that was in their room, observing a nice forest to the west side of the castle.

“What do you mean, you owe them? The only thing any of us owe them for is a lot of trouble caused to your First Officer when he was changed into a female completely against his will!” McCoy scolded with a critical look.

Kirk just ignored the scolding, like he customarily did, and looked back out the window with a strangely vulnerable look, and he replied, “If none of this happened, I don’t think I’d have Spock.”

With this, the doctor couldn’t think of anything suitable to argue with, so he kept silent. He knew that the far too proper Science and First Officer was pretty as a girl, but he couldn’t find much else palatable about…his…the doctor supposed now, personality, but if Spock truly made Jim happy, who was he to argue?

“What ever you say, Jim.” McCoy said with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head.

Kirk knew this was his friend’s way of showing is support, so he just smiled. He kept looking out that window with that vulnerable look came on his face, being silent for a long moment before softly saying, “I do want Spock back the way he was, but I will miss this Spock. I wouldn’t have him stay this way, but I’ll still miss her a little.”

McCoy suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable in realizing that Kirk was actually revealing his private feelings on this matter. He didn’t do so well with feelings, but he also knew that this was a rarity for Kirk, so he just awkwardly spoke.

“You’ll be getting the same green blooded hobgoblin back, Jim.”

Then he dryly added, “For better or for worse.”

This caused Kirk to chuckle and he said, “Yeah, you’re right, Bones. I guess you’ll have to get used to arguing with our good old Spock again.”

McCoy grumbled, “Yeah, now the arguments will be a lot less tolerable since Spock will be far less easy on the eyes.”

“Speak for yourself.” Kirk replied with a smile on his face.

Then Kirk stepped away from the window and took a seat on one of the beds, saying, “I suppose now we’ve got nothing to do but wait.”

“Maybe they’ll turn Spock into a frog this time. I’d find that far more desirable to tell the truth.” McCoy said in half jest.

He would never admit out loud that he considered Spock one of his closest friends as well. It was much more fun this way. Kirk, on the other hand, saw through all of that in a second, and just laughed at this.

“So, then I guess I’d have to be the prince that breaks the spell, now isn’t it?” Kirk said with that smug grin touching his lips.

McCoy raised an eyebrow and said, “Prince my ass.”

Kirk laughed again. He couldn’t wait to have the three of them back together the way they originally were.

* * *

Kirk and McCoy stayed in the room over night like they did the first time, but thankfully neither of them were drugged into sleep this time. Just as Kirk was getting impatient to find out how Spock was doing, an attendant was sent to summon them to the main room. Kirk exchanged a look with McCoy to get a little support, and then they followed after the attendant.

Kirk wasn’t sure what to expect when he finally saw Spock again, having a myriad of feelings churning in his gut, but he pushed them all down when his eyes settled on the three people that were standing in the front of the hall. He saw the queen, the king and…Spock. The original Spock. His Spock.

He was dressed in similar clothes as the king this time, and then when he finally met eyes with Kirk, the Captain was sure he was never more in love than he was in that second. It was still his Spock…it was all there in those dark, intense, warm brown eyes.

Kirk couldn’t help but grin, and he didn’t care who saw it, or if McCoy would make fun of him forever after seeing it. He got closer to Spock carefully, and he didn’t even look at the king or queen at first, only looking at him. He could tell that Spock was having a similar response since the edges of his mouth were turned up in a hesitant smile.

Kirk’s smile just got larger and he softly asked, “Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

Are you all right? Is our bond still intact?

Yes, my t’hy’la. Our bond has not been changed or harmed.

Kirk almost wanted to cry with the calm way he heard Spock’s voice in his mind, though, thankfully, he was able to keep it in. The voice he heard in his mind and in his ears was a few pitches lower than the woman’s voice he’d grown used to over these months, but it still felt completely familiar.

Spock’s presence still made him feel whole, though it felt just slightly different than before. But it wasn’t in a bad way. It was just intricately different. Still beautiful.

Spock…I want to hold you so badly right now…but I’m sure you wouldn’t find that very appropriate, now would you? Kirk thought in some humor to Spock, but all of his strong emotions were obvious in his bond as well.

Jim, when we return to the Enterprise, you may hold me all you wish. I am yours, no matter my physical form, and nothing would give me more joy than to have you near me. Spock thought back to Kirk, allowing himself a soft smile as he did.

Kirk found himself softly coughing away the urge to let some of his tears fall free at that thought, so with only a vulnerable smile on his face he said, “It’s nice to see you again, Commander.”

Spock’s face was completely even again as he replied, but Kirk could feel his happiness through the bond, “Likewise, Captain.”

Finally Kirk turned to face the king and queen, “Thank you very much for all of this.”

Both of them nodded to Kirk and the king said, “Queen L’reg and I can tell that the gender of your second in command has not affected how well you work together, and we feel we have learned something very valuable of your culture Captain James Kirk. So it is us that must thank you for this opportunity.”

Kirk smiled at them both and said, “We will be making it back to our ship now.”

L’reg added, “You are welcome to our palace at any time. Please do visit again someday.”

“We will.” Kirk said with a nod, then leading Spock over to where McCoy was waiting for them.

After the doctor checked Spock over with his tricorder just to make sure he really was okay, then Kirk decided they were ready to return to the ship. He whipped open his communicator and said, “Scotty, three to beam up.”

“Aye, sir.”

Kirk gave the Vuctornas one last look as the three of them dematerialized. Now they would finally be getting things back to normal. As normal as they could get, anyway.

* * *

They rematerialized in the transporter room and Kirk had to contain his urge to hug and kiss his new and always same Spock senseless, and at least bring him to the bridge so the rest of the bridge crew could see him, but he was so tempted to take him straight to his quarters instead.

“It’s nice to have you back, Commander,” Scotty said, giving Spock a smile and a nod, “Though, I think I’ll be missing that lovely lady for a while.”

“I doubt you’d be alone in your sentiments, Mr. Scott.” Spock replied with a slightly dry tone, shooting a pointed glance at McCoy.

Kirk just had to laugh at the sour look that materialized on the doctor’s face as a result and he said, “Well, I suppose we should get up to the bridge.”

He then turned to McCoy and said, “No cause for worry about the Commander, right Bones?”

McCoy raised an eyebrow and said, “Physically? No. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be too sure.”

The doctor sent a glare in Spock’s direction, but both Kirk and Spock knew that he didn’t mean it, so they just both nodded when he mumbled something about going back to sickbay and not to disturb him unless it was absolutely necessary.

Kirk’s affection and impatience to explore the changes to Spock’s body was easily leaking into their bond, and Spock had to clamp down on his natural response of a blush coming up around his ears at sensing his mate’s emotions and thoughts.

Patience, t’hy’la. We will have our time together on the conclusion of our shifts. Spock thought to Kirk, smiling at the other through the bond.

God, I never realized just how hot you were as a male until now. Kirk thought back, reaching to the side to inconspicuously brush his fingers across Spock’s, feeling the suppressed shiver traveling up the other’s arm.

Kirk smirked slightly to himself, loving that he had that effect on the other still.

I find your countenance quite pleasing too, Jim.

This thought from Spock made his smirk grow, and it didn’t leave his face the remaining way to the bridge. Making their way on, everyone came up to Spock to give their congratulations on his return to his original state, but the interaction that Kirk watched carefully was the one between Uhura and Spock.

“It is great to see you back again, Commander.” She said with a small smile.

Kirk tried not to make his eavesdropping so obvious, but he found it hard not to feel little jealous, especially since he recognized the look in her eyes to be a kind of longing. He knew this whole thing was irrational, since Spock had bonded with him, but as a human, he couldn’t help himself.

Spock sensed this, and sent him soothing feelings as he replied to her vocally in his usual polite and even tone, “I am certainly glad to be returned to my original state as well, Lieutenant.”

Kirk knew that Uhura knew that he and Spock were together, and he knew that she definitely wasn’t low enough to try to go after him on having this knowledge, but truthfully, and quite illogically, Kirk wanted to be the only one who thought of him in this way. She had him in the past, and it was her problem that she let this wonderful person go.

Jim…Nyota does hold a special place with me, but she can never be my t’hy’la…she can never be you. Spock thought to him as he and Uhura returned finally to their stations.

Kirk secretly was glad for the reassurance, but he thought back smugly, Of course she can’t be me. Only one person around here that can actually carry off my special charm.

Kirk saw Spock’s lips quirk just slightly, and then he knew the other picked up his true feelings.

You are indeed of a unique variety, Jim.

Jim smirked, Damn straight.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 12

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 07:24:06 GMT

Chapter 12

After a brief sleep, Kirk felt himself slowly coming back to consciousness, his body having that pleasant ache that he associated to post excellent sex, humming softly as he pressed another kiss to Spock’s temple. At the kiss, Spock began to stir, and a grin was on Kirk’s face as he said in a syrupy sweet teasing voice, “Morning, Sweetheart.”

Kirk was sure that Spock felt his teasing intent through their bond, and so in response she spoke with a calmness that had finally returned after the last few tumultuous days, “I believe this amount of rest was sufficient.”

It was then she noticed the litany of bruises and marks that she had inflicted on his body and her eyes widened with shock.

“Jim…I didn’t realize…have I injured you?” Kirk felt the guilt and worry coming through clear in the bond.

A sheepish smile came to his face at this, and he said, “I’m fine. It wasn’t anything that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy anyway, believe me.”

Spock was sure if she couldn’t feel that he was amused over all of this through the bond, she probably wouldn’t have believed him at all, but now she relaxed. She raised a hand up to the bruise forming on Kirk’s neck and caressed it softly, adding, “This will not be easy to conceal.”

Kirk then grinned at her and said, “Who said I’d want to conceal it?”

To this, Spock just raised an eyebrow and made Kirk laugh again. He couldn’t remember another time he felt this happy, and through his bond with Spock, he knew the same was true for the other.

Kirk knew that the both of them were definitely missed on the bridge by this point, not even sure how long he was gone for himself. But, he was hard pressed to leave the warmth of Spock’s arms and her bed, just pulling her close in another tight embrace.

As they lay together, he thought a bit more about what had happened between the two of them. They were now bonded together. Forever. That definitely was a hard concept to wrap his mind around, especially when he never had a relationship that lasted more than a week in his past, but this bond felt so strong between the two of them, it gave him a sense of calm and confidence in himself that had been missing for most of his life.

He had the feeling that there was no one that could ever be better matched for him, and this was supported by the things he felt whenever he was around Spock Prime and the fact that in spite of the rocky start of their relationship, they still managed to make it to this point.

His thoughts were suddenly broken when he heard Spock’s soft voice in his head, I believe we should return to the bridge at this time, Jim. I know that I am now fit for duty again.

Kirk felt surprised at hearing Spock thinking into his mind as he tentatively thought back, Wow, we can do this all the time? Thinking to each other, I mean. We don’t have to be…making love for it to work?

No, Jim…we are forever of one mind now, so we may communicate in this fashion in the future if that is what we wish. Spock thought back to him, and Kirk got the sensation of a caress to the face even if Spock clearly had not moved in his arms.

This really was weird, feeling sensations that should be caused by physical contact strictly through his mind.

So…If we were on the bridge, and I wanted to think to you all of the extremely non job related things I would like to do to you, could I do that? Kirk thought to her with a smirk.

He distinctly felt Spock rolling her eyes at him and she thought back dryly, You would be able to do that, yes, but I would appreciate if you kept such thoughts to yourself while we are both on duty.

Kirk laughed and replied, We’ll see about that.

The silence between them was now comfortable, since the tension between them had finally been dissipated with all of this. Kirk was about to, albeit very reluctantly, suggest that they finally get up and get ready to return to the bridge, but then he remembered something that he was curious about earlier, but just was too carried away to think much then.

I have another question.

Yes, Jim? The calmness and unassuming tone Spock used with him right this moment put him at such ease that he wondered what he’d done with himself his whole life before he’d had this.

Well…I was certain that you hadn’t slept with anyone after you were changed into a girl, so how was it that — ?

Spock quickly cut off Kirk’s question, and he could distinctly feel her deep embarrassment in her reply, You are right in the assumption that Vulcan females are quite similar to human females in the construction of their analogous body organs in this case that you are inquiring about.

Okay, then, so why weren’t you—?

Kirk was cut off swiftly once again, feeling another wave of embarrassment from her, Due to the drastic changes I had undergone in my body, there were many mysteries that I had to uncover about myself through careful analysis and experimentation.

Kirk was silent for a long moment as he turned over what she thought to him, and then an impish smile slowly materialized on his face, So you’re telling me that you weren’t ‘intact’ due to self experimentation?

It was solely due to the result of my investigation, not due to any personal desire. Spock’s voice was now quite stiff, but Kirk got a mild feeling of shame off of it as well.

Kirk just chuckled lightly in response, and his tone was both comforting and teasing as he thought, You don’t have anything to worry about, Spock. I actually think I’d much like to observe any further self investigation you do.

Spock physically rolled her eyes at this and then she quickly pulled herself up from the bed to begin dressing, saying, “We are certainly due on the bridge by now, Captain.”

Though she sounded it, Kirk could feel that she was much more shy and awkward speaking on these topics rather than offended at his comment, and so the smirk stayed on his face and spoke as he dressed as well, “By all means. After you, Commander.”

After Spock quickly dropped by his room to retrieve some undamaged clothes for Kirk to wear, the two of them were about to leave the room for the bridge and Kirk grabbed her hand, feeling a tiny shiver travel through her body at the sudden contact, speaking softly a shy smile then touching his lips, “I want you to know that how I feel for you really won’t change, no matter what, and that I didn’t tell you all that just to get you in bed.”

Spock’s face didn’t change in the slightest on hearing those words from Kirk, but the warmth that he found in her eyes and felt through their bond enveloped him, and though her words were almost too quiet to be heard, Kirk heard them loud and clear in his mind, “I will always take care of you, t’hy’la.”

Though the word was foreign to him, the feelings he got through their bond told him exactly what the word meant. Kirk gave her hand one last squeeze, and then he opened the door and led the way back to the bridge.

* * *

When the two of them got back to the bridge, Kirk quickly asked Scotty to return to his duties before many questions could be asked, but he could easily see all the looks being exchanged by the crew and the few whispers he heard here and there. The bridge crew defiantly thought something was up, but none of them had the balls to ask.

Kirk just smiled his usual cocky grin as he took his seat and though he didn’t look, but he knew that Spock made her way back to her station as well. He decided to just ignore the looks for the time being and let the rumor mill run, as it were, since none of it mattered much to him anyway, and he made a note to inform Bones of Spock’s miraculous recovery.

“Sulu, Chekov, I believe we should make our way toward Starbase 11 to stock up on supplies, so make this happen.”

“Aye, sir.” they said together.

Kirk then turned in his chair to talk with the rest of the bridge crew, “Since we are not on an official Starfleet mission, I believe that at the beginning of next shift, we can have a skeleton crew man the bridge until we arrive at Starbase 11. So, continue your duties as normal until then.”

He nodded and turned back toward the view screen, thinking to Spock suggestively, And then…we can maybe pick up where we left off earlier? I do remember making you a promise that I still have to keep.

The depth of your impatience does still surprise me, Jim. Was the only response Kirk got, though the thought was laced with affection, and it made him smirk to himself.

Kirk was now ready to face the universe, and he was sure that nothing would be able to stand in his way.

* * *

Several weeks passed again after Spock and Kirk were bonded, and naturally the both of them, or in most cases, Kirk, informed their closer friends on the bridge crew of their new status. Some were surprised, but most of them seemed to already have guessed something was going between them long before they’d said anything.

Kirk tried to act as though nothing was different between he and Spock, but anyone that knew him well would be able to see the way his eyes lit up every time he looked at her, and secretly many on the bridge crew were glad that the Captain had finally found someone he could be happy with, and so it was their hope that his shenanigans with the multiple women would stop.

The crew had nothing to worry about. As far as Kirk, himself, was concerned, he was on top of the world, and nothing could really get him down. He was still feeling this way when the Enterprise was scheduled for a standard supply pick up and drop off mission.

Just as they were making their scheduled drop off, Uhura informed him that a high priority message from Starfleet on channel one was just coming in.

“Okay, Lieutenant, put it on screen.”

Uhura did so, and it was an image of Admiral Nacen.

“Captain Kirk, I trust things are running well for the Enterprise.”

Kirk smiled and replied, “Yes, sir. As well as can be expected.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I also have some good news for you.” Nacen said, smiling slightly himself, “The Federation dignitaries were finally able to establish communication with the Vuctorna people, and they have finally agreed to revert Commander Spock back to his original state.”

Several emotions quickly ran themselves through Kirk’s eyes. This was certainly unexpected. Even if he knew that one day Spock would change back, now that the time had suddenly come, it was still a shock. In a way, it would be strange not to have the Spock that he’d fallen for anymore, but he reminded himself that it was still going to be the same person, and that even if it would be different, having Spock back to the way he was would still be wonderful.

“That really is great to hear. I’m glad that they finally have decided to see things our way.” Kirk spoke in some amusement.

Nacen nodded, still smiling slightly, and he said, “Have the Enterprise report immediately to Magos VI, and then follow the Vuctornas’ instructions to beam down.”

“We’ll do that.”

“Report back to us as soon as you can on the results. Nacen out.”

The screen went blank and then Kirk glanced over to Spock.

You ready to finally change back? Kirk thought playfully to her, already knowing the answer to that.

I believe more than ample time has passed for the Vuctornas to come to the only logical decision on the subject.

Kirk chuckled, and he knew Spock could feel his minute bittersweetness through the bond, You know, it will be great to have you back as you were, but I’ll still miss my girl a little.

Kirk knew it could be taken as a joke, but he was perfectly serious.

Spock conveyed some sympathy toward Kirk and thought back, I will endeavor to keep expressing my love for you in the same ways, Jim.

Yeah…Kirk was then smiling softly, Yeah…so will I.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 11

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:57:33 GMT

Chapter 11

He buzzed in as soon as he got to Spock’s door, and he didn’t get an immediate answer, so this got him a bit more worried, “Spock, are you in there?”

Finally her voice came on the intercom, sounding a bit less even than usual, “This would not be the best time for a visit, Captain.”

“I need to talk to you, Spock.” Kirk insisted, “From what Bones told me, I need to know more.”

Kirk waited for her answer, but none came. He was about to try convincing her some more, but suddenly the door slid open. Before she changed her mind, he hurried inside. When he saw the state of the room, he was in shock. The place was far from the almost immaculate neatness it usually was. Maybe it didn’t look so bad by a human’s standards, but this wasn’t a human. This was Spock.

The only sign of something really amiss was the broken incense holder that was by his feet as he stepped into the room. This must have been the object that Uhura had mentioned to him earlier, and seeing a physical example of Spock’s loss of control really did put him on guard now, it somehow feeling more real with this sight. He was made even more wary with the way Spock barely seemed to be holding herself together, her body extremely tense and taut, her hands trembling slightly, her mouth pressed into a thin line, and her eyes…they made Kirk shiver with the storm that was brewing in them.

“We really need to talk about all of this.” Kirk said, carefully getting closer to her like she was a ferocious animal, “Bones told me that your body is under a lot of strain.”

“It is nothing that I am not handling with rest and meditation.” Spock practically growled as Kirk got near to her.

Anyone could easily tell that was a lie, and Kirk quietly replied, “If not corrected, Bones said you could die.”

Then she locked on Kirk with a fiery glare that almost made him flinch, “This is a private matter I wish to deal with alone, Captain.”

Kirk shook his head and softly put his hands on her shoulders, “Let me help you.”

He felt Spock’s whole body shudder under his hands and she suddenly pushed him away with far more force than was necessary, sending him tumbling backwards and almost falling over, rasping at him, “Do not touch me!”

Even if Kirk knew that Spock wasn’t being herself, this refusal hurt him slightly, but he tried not to let that show as he regained his bearings and resolutely got closer to her again, “Tell me what’s happening with you.”

Spock seemed to push herself back under whatever shaky control she had left of herself and she gave him a downright tortured look as she said, “I cannot. Vulcans never speak of this time out loud.”

Kirk felt his heart clench at the way she was suffering, and he knew that there was no way he was leaving this room without helping her.

“This is about your…mating time, right?” he said, feeling slightly embarrassed at speaking about this so plainly with Spock, but there was no time for niceties with how desperate the situation was getting, “Do you need us to go back to the Vulcan colony to find someone to help?”

For a moment, Spock’s eyes widened in surprise and anger at Kirk’s gall of mentioning this extremely private time with Vulcans aloud, and coldly replied, “I will find no one to help me there.”

“Then what do you need, Spock? Let me help you.” Kirk said, reaching out to touch her face.

“You cannot!” She said, backing away from his hand as if she feared that simple touch would be her undoing.

Then a very stubborn determination came to his face as he returned, “You could die! If you think that I’m just going to stand by and let that happen, you are crazy!”

Spock looked away from him for a long time, finally speaking in an uncontrolled tone, now filled with sorrow, “This is something that I must deal with alone. I have no other choice.”

“What do you mean, you don’t have a choice? I want to help you!” Kirk said, his eyes so genuinely honest that Spock’s eyes teared up.

After being silent another long moment, she spoke in defeat, “I must show you something, Jim.”

She stepped toward him and extended a hand toward his face, and he knew what she intended to do. He nodded when she asked permission with her eyes, and then she placed her hand on his pressure points a little roughly, but that was the last thing on his mind as he suddenly was watching an interaction between Spock and Uhura, realizing that it was what had happened earlier that day.

‘What is it Spock?’ Nyota was looking at her in worry, especially with the sudden way he’d brought her here from the bridge.

‘I had hoped that it would not come to this, but my situation is turning…rather urgent.’ Spock said, not meeting eyes with her, staring at the floor, ‘My time…has come much sooner than I had been expecting.’

‘Your time? You don’t mean…the mating time thing you mentioned to me some time ago? Pon Farr?’ Nyota spoke in shock.

Spock saw Nyota shiver at the intense look she gave her, but she couldn’t help it. She kept looking at the Communications Lieutenant for a long moment and decided that she did desire her, as she was quite beautiful, but something important was missing.

She nodded at Nyota’s question, and continued, ‘I had hoped, that since I was part human, I would be spared from this time. And…for it to have happened during such an inopportune time for me…

Spock tried to gage Nyota’s reaction to this news, and she found that, especially in this state, the complexities of human emotion were escaping her, and when the other seemed only to be silently absorbing what she was saying, she was forced to continue speaking.

‘I would never have asked you this suddenly or abruptly had my situation not become this desperate, but I…I require a mate. Not only had my intended mate lost her life on Vulcan, my father informed me that it would be ill advised to attempt bonding me at this time to a Vulcan male, since there is the possibility that I may still return to being a male myself.’ Spock said, trying to sound even, but failing miserably as her words were touched with something dark and hungry.

Her blood fever was slowly taking over to her, and she wasn’t certain how much longer she could hold her madness at bay. She was breathing much heavier than was normal, and she felt her heart beat out of control as she waited for a response from Nyota. Her hands trembled. She wanted, needed to touch.

‘Spock…’ Nyota finally spoke softly, ‘I’ll try to help you in any way I can.’

Spock relaxed a little when she heard the words she needed to hear, but there was still that niggling feeling that something was missing or not right. But, she ignored this since her blood fever had little concern with feelings.

‘All right, I will attempt to meld with you before the…the mating.’

Spock saw her nodding her head, but her eyes were still irritatingly difficult to read. She got close to Nyota and raised her hand up to begin a meld with her to start the bonding process. Her mind…it was a beautiful thing, but…it did not match, it did not mix, and…Spock found hesitance, great hesitance.

Spock sucked in a sharp breath as she realized that Nyota only wanted to do this to save her life, and seemed to be reluctant to share what really was necessary in this process of bonding their souls together. Spock could see she was unsure of her feelings for herself, and wasn’t sure this would change as long as she was a female.

Spock knew now that this was a mistake. With a gasp, Spock drew out of the meld and staggered backwards from Nyota, her eyes wide with shock. All the hesitance that Nyota had been feeling lately had not been because she was taking time to get used to her new form, but had been because she was no longer physically attracted to her.

‘Nyota…’ Spock said softly, sounding hurt, but her blood still burned.

She needed more, and it frustrated her to no end that Nyota couldn’t give her what she needed.

‘Spock, I’m sorry.’ She said, her eyes getting a little teary at the way she’d realized she’d hurt her.

Spock just growled back at that. How dare she say sorry for rejecting her this way when she would not even have any pause were she a male in this moment? Spock’s madness made her reach out to the near by incense holder and throw that against the wall by the entrance to her quarters, and she saw that sudden violence made Nyota jump.

‘Just…leave.’ Spock said, her tone barely controlled, the look in her eyes dangerous.

‘Spock…’ Nyota’s eyes were a little scared, but she didn’t want to leave just like that.

‘Get out!’ her tone was very angry now, and this time Nyota didn’t hesitate to comply, just getting out of that room as quickly as she could.

With a broken gasp, Spock pulled back from Kirk, and he noticed now that there were tears running down her face. He realized he was breathing a little brokenly himself, touching his cheek and finding he was similarly crying. He realized that Spock’s feelings over the event with Nyota transferred over to him, and let him feel just how upset she was over being rejected due to the gender swap.

“This is why you cannot help me, Jim.” He could see her body trembling under the strain of keeping herself under control, “You will no longer want me when I eventually go back to my original gender. We would be bonded from this point on, for the rest of our lives.”

Kirk narrowed his eyes at her and put his hands on his hips, “And just why do you think I won’t want you when you change back? I will want you no matter what.”

Kirk could see Spock wanting to believe his words desperately, and she was breathing heavily as she moved closer to him again, the words sounding more seductive than they probably should have, “Can you always be mine? Even if…I was not of the female persuasion?”

Her tone and the way her eyes roved over him made him shiver, and he softly replied, “I could never be anyone else’s.”

Kirk could see that Spock’s control was slipping and could be broken at any second. He wanted to be cautious, knowing that an angry, out of control Vulcan could easily snap him in half, but his crazy, danger loving side just wanted to dive in blind, just to see what would happen. He settled for the middle ground, not moving when Spock got near him again.

She was so beautiful and her eyes were so enticing and wild. Kirk could hardly believe that she was actually giving him a ‘come hither’ kind of look, and he was starting to feel like his blood was on fire himself.

“I can’t hold myself back any more, Jim.” She growled and then walked up to him like she’s stalking some prey, her body so taut, so tense, so…ready, “This would be your last chance to leave, because if you don’t, I will take you, and I won’t stop.”

Kirk felt like there wasn’t a time that Spock looked quite this good as he felt his breath hitch as he said, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Her eyes looked so hungry at his words that Kirk felt as though she just might devour him alive. His heart beat out of control as she stalked closer. Before she could reach him though, he realized that he was by the communicator panel on the wall, and he jammed on the button that connected him to Engineering.

“Scotty, get your ass up to the bridge. I’m otherwise…occupied.” Kirk spoke quickly and a little frantically.

“Aye, Captain, but what – ?”

Kirk didn’t wait for the question, just hanging up the comm. Spock then finally reached him, grabbing his shirt with a vice grip, forcefully turning him to walk backwards toward her bed, and then she shoved him down so hard that he actually bounced back up slightly.

“I will first bond our minds and then I will take your body and make it mine.” Spock growled at him a matter-of-factly, causing Kirk to gasp.

Spock then got on top of him with no warning, holding his body down hard with hers, pinning his hands above his head to leave him in a rather prone position, and then she joined their lips, finally, in a searing kiss.

Kirk felt Spock’s mind suddenly flow into his and he called out to her, wanting her all around him, wanting to be one with her, the new presence in his mind overwhelming him with all the warmth, love, adoration, and desire it emanated. Kirk tried to convey all the same things as Spock’s mind began to mix with his.

It was so perfect, so seamless…Kirk finally couldn’t tell where he ended and where Spock began.

We are now one, t’hy’la. Spock’s voice was calm in his head, and Kirk felt another wave of affection from her.

This is the most amazing thing I’ve felt, Kirk thought back to her in joy, And we’ll be like this forever?

Yes, Jim. We will forever be one. Kirk suddenly got the sensation that he was being embraced from the inside out.

Spock then carefully pulled out of the meld, but the bond she had forged was still there, and Kirk could still sense her thoughts and feel everything she felt, in addition to his own sensations. It was amazing and overwhelming to suddenly get used to this.

“We will mate now.” She said in a harsh and dark tone when she parted their lips from their hot, bonding kiss.

He could see that even if she sounded calm in the mind meld, her blood fever was still consuming her. Kirk wasn’t quite sure what Spock was going through before they melded, but now he felt acutely the way her blood burned for him and his body.

Her hands began to roughly rip his clothes off of him, sometimes literally, as she forced her tongue in his mouth in a deep, claiming kiss. Kirk felt himself getting very aroused, his own feelings getting combined with Spock’s, his body arching helplessly against her onslaught, as his arms were still being pinned by her.

When every last bit of his clothing was removed from him, only the sound of their harsh breaths punctuated the air for a moment as she surveyed him carefully with her dark eyes. Kirk wriggled a little at the intensity and his eyes pleaded with her. With everything happening at this time and everything that had happened between them up to this point, Spock wasn’t the only one desperate for this.

“Please…please, Spock…I need you.” Kirk begged shamelessly, his pride could be damned at this point.

She just growled and finally let his hands go so that she could quickly take off her clothes as well. She showed just about the same care for her own clothes as she did Kirk’s, as soon they were strewn haplessly around the room in pieces, since they could not be removed quick enough for her liking.

Seeing her staring him down that way in the nude made Kirk even more hopelessly aroused, and he closed his eyes and moaned, his cock twitching and hardening even further. She had to be the most beautiful, sexy woman he’d ever seen. He wanted to get up and touch her, but something told him to stay put. This was Spock’s time, and he was hers to do with as she pleased.

“You are eager, t’hy’la…” her voice husky with her desire, “This pleases me…”

And then she practically pounced on him, taking his lips again, their bodies rubbing together intimately as her hands raked roughly over his skin. Kirk knew there were going to be bruises the next day, but he was so far beyond caring at this point. Everywhere she touched him burned, and soon he found his hips bucking slightly in desperation.

Spock appeared to finally reach the end of her rope as well, releasing her mouth from his neck and licking over the bruise that was already forming there, and growling at him, “I will take you now.”

Kirk moaned his approval as she positioned herself on top of him, but then a thought shot into Kirk’s mind.

“Wait, Spock…aren’t you a vir—?” Kirk started asking in a bit of concern, not wanting her to be in any pain, but he cut off with a deep groan as he felt himself being completely enveloped in her hot, tight, heat.

His eyes were clouded with lust and he was completely at her mercy now. As she began to move, Kirk moaned at the feeling of her around him, feeling just how wet…oh, god, so wet just for him…his hands held her tight as their rhythm got hurried.

Feeling her around him at the same time as he felt himself in her through their bond was driving him insane. He thought sex before was fantastic, but he could never go back to that after experiencing sex like this. Her hands were moving over his body again, her nails scratching his nipples and his chest as he moaned desperately and held tight to her hips.

His body and mind begged for her to buck harder against him, to find a way to let him get even deeper somehow and his hand suddenly reached forward to rub her clit with practiced precision. She was close, they both were, and he needed her to come…they both needed to come.

He finally felt her stiffen above him as her orgasm burst through his mind. She squeezed his cock impossibly tight, and under all the physical and mental stimulation, he couldn’t hope to last a moment longer as he was coming too.

When they were both spent, Kirk felt an unbelievable feeling of calm washing over him, along with unadulterated love and affection as Spock moved to settle against his side. He held Spock tightly in his arms as the both of them caught their breaths, and he thought through their bond, I love you, Spock, I love you.

I love you, too, my t’hy’la…Spock thought back to Kirk and this caused him to smile and place a lazy kiss on her forehead.

Finally the two of them felt their breathing and heart rates coming back to normal, and this is when Kirk spoke with a little smirk on his face, “Spock…I think that’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Spock was silent for a moment, giving Kirk another in mind embrace, “I am pleased. I, myself, felt it was satisfactory.”

Kirk looked at her in surprise with his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Just satisfactory? Oh, you have got to be – ” Kirk stopped on his tirade when he saw the little smirk touching the edge of Spock’s lips.

She was joking, and when he realized this as he felt her amusement through their bond, he laughed and said teasingly and suggestively, “Fine, if you thought that was just ‘satisfactory,’ the next time I’ll have you screaming my name and thinking it’s exemplary.”

“I look forward to this, Jim.” she said with a sigh, then allowing herself to relax completely against him.

A genuine smile was on Kirk’s face as he began to drift off and he murmured, “So do I…”

The Inevitable - Chapter 10

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:58:15 GMT

Chapter 10

In the few weeks following the visit to the Vulcan colony, Kirk was hurt to notice that it was Spock who then maintained a distance from him, and declined on spending time with him outside of their duties. Was this her way of telling him that she’d thought about things and just wasn’t willing to entertain the idea of anything between the two of them that extended past work or friendship?

But Kirk could tell it was far larger than that with the tense and irritated way Spock held herself and spoke to others. Maybe her voice was calm and even like always, but Kirk had developed some insight into Spock’s expressions, and his analysis of them told him that she was anything but those things.

It had to do with the visit to the Vulcan colony and Spock’s talk with her father, he knew it. He also knew that Spock didn’t seem inclined to speak about it with him or anyone else, especially with how irritated she was becoming over the days. Kirk was starting to feel it to be odd. This wasn’t a normal amount of irritation, it seemed as though she was starting to have trouble containing it.

This caused Kirk to observe her more closely, and what he found shocked and troubled him. She seemed to constantly trembling, and when she thought no one was looking at her, there was this very strange, kind of hungry look in her eyes that thoroughly disconcerted Kirk. Now that for sure was something he’d never seen in her before.

One day, Kirk decided that the had to speak with Spock about it, for the good of everyone, but was shocked when Spock came up to him and said in a tone that was barely controlled, “I must speak with Lieutenant Uhura privately, immediately, and I request some time to do so.”

Kirk wouldn’t have thought to refuse her anyway, but the look in her eyes as she asked especially warned him against doing so.

Giving her a very worried look, he said, “Of course. But only if you allow Bones to give you a short examination later to make sure you’re all right.”

She raised an eyebrow at Kirk and her face twitched dangerously as she spoke in a quiet tone, “I do not see any need for this since I am perfectly fine.”

“This is an order, Commander. I want to be sure that nothing is wrong with you.” Kirk said firmly, but compassionately.

She looked at Kirk a moment longer, and her face twitched again, but she grudgingly acquiesced, “Very well, sir.”

Then she approached Uhura, who was also regarding her very warily, and said stiffly, “Lieutenant?”

Uhura just nodded and left the bridge with Spock without another word. Kirk just let out a sigh and took a seat, knowing for a fact that very little was right with this situation.

* * *

Some time later, he noticed that Uhura had returned to the bridge looking a little rattled, but Spock did not return with her. Kirk gave her a confused look and approached her immediately.

“Lieutenant, what happened?”

She hesitated greatly at the question and finally said, “Commander Spock told me to inform you that she was visiting the doctor as per your order, but after she felt that it would be best to return to her quarters.”

Kirk stared for a moment and then said, “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Again she hesitated, “She related to me a personal matter that she wished for me to keep quiet about.”

“And just why can’t she come back to the bridge after the doctor checks her over?” Kirk said, his tone now getting quite suspicious as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“It is related to her personal matter.” Uhura said, still dodging the question.

Kirk then drew closer to Uhura and quieted his voice, saying, “What is her ‘personal matter’?

Uhura just faced his suspicion with a firm face and said, “I can’t break her trust.”

“Look, I know Spock’s well being is on the line here, so don’t make me order – ”

Kirk’s communicator suddenly went off, so just looked at Uhura with his suspicious gaze a moment longer before answering it.

“This had better be important.” Kirk snapped at whoever was calling him, not in the mood to speak with anyone.

“In fact, it is.” came McCoy’s sarcastic voice from the other side, “For once I have something important to tell you, instead of just calling you randomly to tell you new ridiculous ways people can die in space that I’ve completely made up. Oh, wait, that isn’t me, but someone else I have the misfortune of knowing.”

Kirk decided that he probably deserved that with the tone he’d used with the other, so he sounded a little apologetic as he replied, “Sorry, Bones. What’s going on?”

“I’d like you to come down to sickbay so that we can talk. It’s about the Commander.”

Kirk was instantly and extremely worried when he heard the doctor’s grim tone, and he said, “I’m coming right away, Kirk out.”

“We are speaking later, Lieutenant. For now, go back to your station.” Kirk said in a warning tone as he hung up his communicator.

She seemed to let out somewhat of a frustrated sigh at Kirk’s irritating persistence, but he ignored this, then speaking clearly to the bridge, “While I’m down in sickbay, Sulu, you have the conn.”

With that, he quickly left the bridge.

* * *

Making it to the sickbay in record time, he found that McCoy was waiting for him in his office. He took a seat in front of the doctor and he spoke in concern without preamble, “So, what’s wrong with Spock, Bones?”

The doctor closed his eyes and let out a small sigh, then saying, “Spock has refused to tell me what is going on with her, but my readings on her biofunctions tell me something is very wrong with her. Her pulse, temperature, and serotonin levels are all abnormally high. If they continue to rise, she very well could die.”

“What do you think it is, Bones? There has to be something we can do to help her.” Kirk said in absolute determination, not one to give in easy, especially when people important to him were involved.

“I’m not sure there is much we can do because Spock won’t tell me much of anything.” McCoy said in frustration, “But, based on the readings I’ve collected and the sparse information I have, I can make a guess.”

“Then make it. I need to know what I can do to help this situation!” Kirk said, realizing that he easily got frustrated when people kept him in suspense.

“All right!” McCoy said, glaring at Kirk, secretly wanting to help Spock as much as he could as well, “Based on the particular hormones that are out of whack in her system and the particular medication she asked me for…I’ve surmised this all has something to do with…Vulcans’ need to…to mate.”

McCoy sounded half way embarrassed when he reveled his diagnosis to Kirk, and all Kirk could do was stare at him in shock and say, “What?! How can you be so certain?”

“She asked me for a powerful and immediate form of birth control, Jim. And all she said in response to the request was that ‘it was just a precaution,’ and was very tight lipped about the rest.”

Kirk put a hand to his forehead, trying to think of what he could do to help Spock, and then he suddenly stood up.

“I’m going to go talk to her about this, and I’m not leaving her quarters until I get some answers! If we have to turn the ship around to go back to the Vulcan colony, we’re going to do it.”

McCoy knew better than to try convincing Kirk of otherwise, knowing when he got an idea in his head, he couldn’t be persuaded out of it, just nodding and sticking to saying, “Good luck. I’ll be standing by if Spock needs any other help.”

Kirk quickly strode out of the sickbay and was entirely surprised when he nearly bowled Uhura over, who seemed to be hanging around outside, possibly waiting for him.

“Why aren’t you on the bridge, Lieutenant?” Kirk asked in impatience, wanting to get to Spock as quickly as he could.

“I know that you’re going to go speak with the Commander, so I wanted to warn you.” Uhura said in a firm tone.

“What do you mean?” Kirk then asked with an eyebrow raised.

“She’s not herself, so I suggest you be careful.”

“I can handle this. I’m a big boy, Lieutenant.” He said in a slightly patronizing tone, putting his hands on his hips.

Uhura glared at him at the tone Kirk used with her and she returned indignantly, “Don’t think I’m warning you because I like you, Captain. Your well being will be endangered when you step into that room, so I’m warning you to be on your guard.”

Now this actually gave Kirk some pause. Something seriously must be wrong with Spock if Uhura was going out of her way to warn him like this, so he asked her with some concern, “Did Spock hurt you or anything?”

Uhura shook her head, “No, she didn’t…she just exhibited some violent behavior with some objects in her room as a result of our conversation. She then asked me to leave.”

Kirk then nodded and said, “Thank you for the warning. I’ll keep it in mind.”

He then quickly walked past her as swiftly as he could toward Spock’s quarters.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 9

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:45:40 GMT

Chapter 9

When Kirk and Spock met up again, they bid both Spock Prime and Sarek farewell and made their way back onto the ship, determining that the colony was on a good schedule of progress. But, Kirk easily noticed that Spock seemed to be in an even more tense mood now than she even was before they had arrived at the colony. Kirk wondered if her meeting with her father didn’t go well, but he figured that the best time to ask her that would be in private.

On returning to the bridge, Kirk found out from Uhura that Admiral Nacen had left them another message, and he informed her that he would listen to them in his personal quarters. As he made his way there, he decided that it would be best if Spock had some time to digest whatever had happened between her and her dad, and so he would give her some space during that time.

He admitted that there was a lot he had to figure out himself. He was rather sure that he’d fallen in love with Spock before this visit to the Vulcan colony, but now with this short meeting with Spock Prime, there wasn’t one doubt left in his mind. This realization just made everything worse because he now had to decide what to do with his strong and undeniable feelings when he wasn’t even sure what Spock, herself, wanted.

She had told him that he didn’t force himself on her the time they had kissed, but what did that mean? Did it mean that she actually wanted him in the same way, perhaps even felt the same way, or that because she was a willing participant, he could relax since she wouldn’t claim it to be sexual harassment?

The look in her eyes in the lift told him that she was rather confused over the happenings. Maybe she just got caught up in the moment, but wasn’t really interested in a romantic relationship with him. That could explain her hesitance about the situation, partly. Then there was the whole deal with Uhura.

Did Spock really love her? Because if she did, he was definitely fighting a losing battle here. But when they kissed, she kissed him back with just as much fervor, her body reacted to his touches, Kirk felt…

He shook his head as a look of disgust came to his face. He knew he risked sounding like a Hallmark card, but…holding her, touching her, kissing her…it all made him feel whole. Just as what he’d felt from Spock Prime had.

He let out a sigh as he let himself in his room. He really needed a drink. Perhaps he would see Bones about that later. He also decided that he would get more comfortable before he saw the message from Nacen, so he threw off his boots and changed out of his uniform clothes into a simple t-shirt and some worn sweats. Then he went over to his personal view screen and accessed the message.

“Captain Kirk. I have decided to send you a direct message of news of the negotiations with the Vuctornas on Magos VI due to you and your crew’s personal interest in the matter. Due to your understandable, but abrupt leave from the planet, the Vuctornas have so been quite difficult to negotiate with, since this is considered to be quite rude in their culture, especially when they are under the impression they had done you a favor by changing the gender of your first officer.

We have attempted to make them understand that this is not the case in our culture, but so far the Federation dignitaries have had little success in the endeavor. I will continue to keep you posted on further dealings with the planet. Please express Starfleet Command’s condolences to Commander Spock for the difficult situation he has been thrust in, and that we are still doing whatever we can to aid the situation. Nacen out.”

Well, wasn’t that peachy. It was all just pretty words saying, ‘sorry, we can’t help you.’ Kirk was now glad that he took the message in his quarters after all, so that the rest of the crew wouldn’t have deal with the disappointment of Starfleet’s inaction…specifically Spock. He would definitely be keeping the nature of this message to himself.

And now, he needed some sleep. Maybe his sleep would be filled images and thoughts of Spock, but he had to at least try to get some rest.

* * *

Some days later, Kirk finally got some time to spend with McCoy in the way they used to as roommates at the Academy, getting comfortable in the doctor’s room with some drinks. With things always being so busy on the ship, there was little time for times like this. And he really did miss Bones’ company, with all the worrying he had been doing over Spock lately.

The two of them were seated comfortably on the easy chairs that were inside McCoy’s quarters, drinking some green alien alcohol together. Kirk wasn’t quite sure if the stuff was technically legal to obtain or not, but he definitely wasn’t going to ask any questions in that regard. How he got the stuff was his business, and it did taste good, so he didn’t complain.

They chatted about the stuff they usually did…Bones talking about some new medical horror he’d read about, Kirk teasing him about how he was just too paranoid for his own good, but Kirk’s heart just wasn’t into it. Spock was still at the back of his mind.

“…okay, just spit it out, will you?” McCoy finally said midconversation.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Kirk tried to sound surprised, but he should have figured that his best friend would know better.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Jim.” McCoy said in his impatient drawl, “I know that ‘I want to tell someone but I don’t want to tell someone’ look of yours. So, there’s no need for the suspense. Just spit it out already.”

Kirk wondered briefly if he should keep arguing, but he determined that would be fruitless and just end up irritating Bones, so he let out a sigh and said, “Okay, okay…I need to ask your advice on something. But let me finish before you say anything, all right?”

McCoy raised a suspicious eyebrow at Kirk and said in sarcasm, “Just what have you managed to get yourself into now, Captain?”

“I haven’t gotten myself into anything!” Kirk first said defensively, but then his voice got a little quiet as he added, “…yet.”

McCoy could only let out a suffered sigh at this and then he said, “Okay, I’m listening.”

Kirk took a small gulp at the impatience in the other’s voice, and he pushed forward with what he wanted to say, “This is about Spock.”

The surprise Kirk found in the other’s eyes at this was unmistakable, but McCoy just raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

Kirk cleared his throat and pushed himself to keep talking, knowing that no matter what, the other would just make him feel stupid anyway. This was Bones, after all, and it was what he did best.

“For a while now, I’ve been thinking…well, that I’ve sorta…got a thing for her.”

There, he said it. McCoy was silent for a good minute, but his face said volumes.

“Have you lost your cotton pickin’ mind?” he finally said, confusion and irritation reflected easily in his features, “Spock is your crabby first officer, who, in case you’ve conveniently forgotten, used to be a man! And, who could quite possibly be turned back into a man one day.”

“Of course I didn’t forget any of that!” Kirk said, rolling his eyes at McCoy.

Kirk was sure that the doctor thought he was insane now when he said, “So, you’re telling me, with Spock’s charming countenance aside, you would still have this ‘thing’ if Spock were to one day turn back into a man?”

“I’m sure of it.” Kirk said without a drop of uncertainty, “I don’t know why, but I just know it’s true.”

He’d never mentioned Spock Prime to Bones before, and he figured that he would just keep the secret between he and the older Vulcan. It just seemed more special that way, in his mind.

“You have to be kidding me.” McCoy said with a shake of his head, downing whatever was left in his glass in a way that seemed as though he’d hoped that would help him make more sense of this situation.

“I’m serious! Why does everyone think I’m joking when I try to tell them something serious? Isn’t my sense of humor better than that?” Kirk said with an almost pout.

When McCoy raised an eyebrow at this, Kirk chuckled and added, “You know, your face is so reminding me of Spock right now.”

The doctor’s lips then pursed together and an irritated look came to his eye, “I’d rather not be compared to the green blooded hobgoblin, thank you very much.”

That response from the doctor made Kirk laugh and earned him a glare.

“I just…” Kirk’s voice then had some uncertainty creep into it, “I don’t know what to do, Bones. I don’t even know what she wants.”

McCoy just let out a tired sigh when he realized that Kirk was truly serious about this, no matter how little sense any of it made to him.

“If you’re as crazy as I think you are, which I know you are, you’ve obviously already made your decision.”

Jim was silent as he thought about that. He definitely had to talk to Spock about this. About everything. He also finished his drink in the hope that it would give him the courage to do what he needed to.

They stayed quiet for some time, McCoy refilling the both of their drinks as they contemplated the situation, and then the doctor finally spoke in some surprise, “I never thought you the type to fall in love, Jim…especially not with that logical computer.”

But there was little to no real scorn in the doctor’s voice. It was just surprise. Kirk was sure the other thought he had him pegged, but he’d found a way to shock the other in a way that he was proud only he could.

“I think it was the fact that that computer is flawed with more illogical programs than it wants to admit.” Kirk said, half way smirking to himself.

McCoy couldn’t help but smile wryly at that, and he raised his glass to Kirk saying, “Here’s to you, you crazy bastard.”

Kirk just laughed and clinked his glass to the doctor’s, “Amen to that.”

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 8

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 09:51:51 GMT

Chapter 8

After kissing Spock that way in her quarters, Kirk kicked himself over and over. He obviously took advantage of her in a weakened emotional state, and put her into what she probably felt was a compromising position had she refused him. And that little taste…it just made Kirk want her more, so his guilt was like a never ending cycle.

He decided that he had to show Spock that he didn’t expect anything from her, and that he didn’t want her doing anything solely for his sake. So, when they both came to the bridge for their morning shifts, he acted perfectly friendly with her, but he made sure not to hold eye contact with her longer than necessary, and he especially made sure to maintain an appropriate distance from her at all times, no matter how much his body cried out in protest.

This went on for some days, when finally something was done. The both of them had to take the lift to get some place together and Spock quickly pushed the stop button and then looked at Kirk very seriously. Kirk was not expecting this, and his face easily reflected his surprise.

“Have I displeased you in some way, Captain?”

“Not at all.” Kirk said, trying to keep his voice calm, but all he could think of in this moment was kissing her again.

“Then what is your reason for your changed behavior toward me?” She asked forcefully, her face blank, but her eyes showing some pain and confusion.

Seeing this cause Kirk’s heart to clench but he stuck to saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Commander.”

Spock’s face didn’t change, but her eyebrows narrowed in determination, “Analysis of your behavior over the last few days has led me to believe their cause is our encounter in my quarters some days ago.”

Kirk then closed his eyes and sighed, realizing that playing dumb would get him no where with Spock. She could see through him in a second and he knew it. Though he didn’t say anything, his reaction to her statement told her that she was right.

Kirk could feel and hear his heart thudding in his chest and he could practically feel the tension rolling off of both of their bodies at this close proximity, and he suddenly found it hard to breathe. When Spock finally spoke softly, Kirk couldn’t help but center in on her moving lips.

“Jim…you did not force yourself on me.” she said simply, her eyes wide and her body stalk still.

At this, Kirk felt his whole body tremble with the effort of not touching her and right before his last thread of control snapped, he pushed hard against the wall he was leaning against to send himself forcefully into the adjacent wall, where he clutched a rail so tightly that his knuckles turned white and his breath was coming out in soft pants.

He saw Spock looking at him in concern, but he ignored that in the effort to calm himself down. He told himself once again. It didn’t matter if he wanted her or she wanted him. She needed to sort everything out first, and then he could think about making a move.

Kirk almost succeeded in calming down when his communicator suddenly beeped. He took a deep breath and opened it up.

“Kirk here.”

“Captain, we have a transmission from Starfleet.” Uhura’s voice came from the bridge.

Taking one more breath, he replied, “Commander Spock and I will be up to the bridge shortly. Kirk out.”

Kirk quickly flipped his communicator closed and he looked anywhere but Spock as he started the lift again and ordered it to the bridge, not sure what to make of this situation at all. Maybe he’d think about it again after this mission they were sure to receive. He knew more than anything that he had to clear his head from all of this.

* * *

When the lift finally arrived at the bridge, Kirk especially made sure to only look at his chair as he hurried to take a seat in it, and then he spoke to Uhura without looking at her, not wanting to turn back and accidentally set eyes on Spock, “All right, put the message through.”

“Message from Admiral Nacen, Starfleet Command. The Enterprise is to make a check on the newly formed Vulcan colony on the planet Arrakis V and to provide any assistance the colony may require. Nacen out.”

At this, Kirk couldn’t resist looking at Spock. Now there would be no way for Spock to keep this from her father, since they wouldn’t be able to come up with a good excuse as to why Spock couldn’t come off the ship to meet with him or with Spock Prime. She would have to face them, and Kirk promised himself that he’d be behind her, no matter what was happening between them in this moment.

She looked uncomfortable and concerned at the message, but Kirk’s heart skipped another beat when she seemed to relax slightly at the meeting of their eyes.

“Chekov, plot an immediate course for Arrakis V. And Sulu, as soon as we’re ready, warp 5 speed, please.”

They both nodded and quickly got to it, and Kirk tried to relax in his chair. He knew that Sarek was a good, understanding man, but there was no way to predict how anyone would react on finding out their only son had been turned into a girl. This left him hoping for the best.

* * *

On arrival to the colony, the ship landed in the rudimentary dock that had been constructed near the colony, and this was when Spock finally sucked it up and contacted her father directly to give him the news. At first, Sarek did not believe it, but eventually he became convinced of it since it wasn’t in a Vulcan’s nature to lie.

Spock let out a small sigh when she concluded the communication with her father, and Kirk stepped behind her to give her shoulder a small squeeze and he said firmly, “It’ll be fine, I know it.”

“This is one time I especially hope that your intuition can be trusted.” Spock replied simply, her face stoic and more shut off than usual.

Kirk nodded at her, knowing how hard this must be, and then he led the way off the ship. A short ways away from the landing dock was the colony and there waiting for he and Spock were Sarek and Spock Prime.

“Greetings, Captain Kirk. It is a pleasure to see you again.” Sarek said with a single deep nod.

Spock Prime was giving him a special look, and Kirk might have blushed at the warmth he found in the other’s eyes, but he was able to keep it together with the seriousness of the situation they were facing.

“Same to you…you both.” Kirk said, smiling and nodding politely to both Sarek and Spock Prime.

Then Sarek looked behind Kirk and gave Spock a good long stare. One eyebrow went up and he said, “Spock?”

“Yes, Father.” She replied, in her familiar ‘at attention’ stance.

Kirk had to hand it to Sarek in taking his child’s gender change in stride, as he next spoke in a completely even voice, “There is much we must speak of, Spock. Come with me.”

He then began leading in a particular direction and Spock quickly followed after him. This left Kirk alone with Spock Prime.

“It’s been a while.” Kirk said, speaking with a friendly smirk on his face.

It really did feel like he was seeing an old friend.

“It has been a while, Jim.” His lips were quirked up in a smile, and he said Kirk’s name in a special way that Kirk was sure only he could manage.

“So, I hear you’re going by Ambassador Sonak nowadays?” Kirk asked in almost a teasing manner, unable to believe he’d really only previously known this man for a few hours, but that mind meld made him feel like he’d at least known him his entire life.

“Yes, that was the alias that I had chosen to avoid any…confusion.” Spock Prime replied with humor in his tone.

Kirk decided he really liked talking to this Spock as well. At the least, he’d mellowed out over time. Spock Prime led the two of them over to a small dwelling in the colony, and Kirk assumed this was where he lived. Kirk took a seat on some of the simple furniture and Spock Prime sat next to him.

“I am sure there is much to speak of, but I am most curious of how I was turned into the female sex.” He asked in curiosity and amusement.

“Ahh…” Kirk suddenly looked sheepish, deciding that he should have expected this question from him.

What was he going to say, anyway? It’s not like anyone knew the true circumstances of the event, not even Spock.

“None of us are too clear on that, but apparently the Vuctornas used some sort of mysticism to do it.”

“Indeed. How has Spock coped with this change?” Spock Prime asked with a curious eyebrow.

“Oh, I’m sure it took some getting used to, but the crew was behind him.” Kirk’s voice turned a little more tender, and his cheeks colored slightly, “I-I was always behind him.”

“I am very glad to hear it.” He said in all seriousness, but that special look that seemed reserved only for him was back in his eye.

A companionable silence settled between them for a few moments, and then Kirk suddenly asked, “What was he like? I mean, the Kirk of your time.”

At the question, Kirk swore he saw Spock Prime’s eyes light up as they got that far away look in them.

“He was…an extremely stubborn man. Complex, compassionate, selfless…he was willing to give his life any day he thought it would save another…” Spock Prime spoke in adoration, and his tone got almost too quiet to be heard, “Jim…”

Hearing Spock Prime speak of his Kirk like this really touched him and he said in a soft tone, “I can only hope that one day I can be like him.”

Then Spock Prime met eyes with him and the tender look that Kirk found there made his heart melt. He wasn’t such a smoopy person, and he half way wondered if his food this morning was drugged with something that made him like this. His face flushed when he saw the other lock his gaze with a look that was so open and trusting, and he was suddenly sure of two things.

If Spock Prime wanted him to go jump off a bridge or something equally ridiculous right in that moment, Kirk wouldn’t have hesitated for a second, and that it was more than obvious that Spock Prime loved the Kirk of his time deeply and unconditionally. He knew he loved his Spock, but he couldn’t keep himself for feeling affection for this Spock as well.

It seemed as though Spock Prime knew what was going on in his head since his reply contained some of the affection as well, “I am certain that you will be.”

Kirk gave him a genuine and bright smile at this, deciding not to try fighting with the silly feelings welling up inside of him. He knew that Spock Prime would be considerate of his pride and keep this moment strictly between the two of them.

“Live long and prosper, James Kirk.” Spock Prime said, holding up his hand in the Vulcan salute, that look always in his eyes.

Instead of just retuning the saying and the salute, Kirk found himself getting closer to the other and then lightly caressing the hand that was being held up for just a moment, feeling a shiver passing through both of them at the contact. The meld shared between them at this contact was short, but it was enough for Kirk. Enough for him to see that he would always love this individual, no matter the gender or time period. He was meant to love him.

When he drew his hand back, he gave Spock Prime a shy smile at the understanding look the other was giving him. Kirk felt some comfort now that he knew the truth.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 7

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:36:21 GMT

Chapter 7

Over the next week, Kirk tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat every time Spock met eyes with him, or when their hands accidentally brushed, or when her shoulder would rub against his arm when they walked places together. Kirk thought he was going to go crazy with all of this. He couldn’t be in love with his First Officer, who was really a man, who was already attached, and who expressed no interest of this fashion for him in the past.

This was definitely hopeless, but his heart had already spoken. Just as stubborn as he could be over something he wanted, his heart was no exception to this. It wanted what it wanted, and he had no control over it. No control over the way he wanted to reach up and let Spock’s soft hair flow free from the tight bun she always kept it in, no control over the way he wished to touch her, to kiss her, to —

Kirk knew he was torturing himself. What good would it do him to think of all of the things he wanted when they were just impossible? But then again, he wasn’t one to believe in no win scenarios.

He stopped this train of thought later in the week when he suddenly noticed that Spock’s behavior toward everyone had changed just slightly. She seemed more irritated and short with anyone that spoke with her, and she and Uhura seemed pointedly to be avoiding each other, both in eye contact, and even in person, were that possible at any time. Kirk deduced that something bad must have happened with them, and so Spock’s mood had been thrown off.

With more of a personal interest than a professional one, Kirk decided that he wanted to find out what had happened, and hopefully try to improve Spock’s spirits. At the least, it would be nice to not have a crabby First Officer by his side most of the time. But, with the joking aside, he couldn’t stand to see Spock like that. He had to do whatever was in his power to make her feel better.

Kirk tried to find some time when he could approach Spock privately, but it started seeming like his First was pointedly avoiding him too. He couldn’t let it go on any longer, just marching up to Spock’s quarters in the evening near the end of that week, demanding to be let in. He didn’t really have a plan here, he just had the ultimate goal of making Spock feel better in mind.

As he stepped through the quarter doors, he felt that familiar nervous pit in his stomach whenever they were alone. That was one thing he definitely could do without.

“You wish to speak with me about something urgent, Captain?”

Kirk knew that Spock was definitely still out of sorts since she was referring to him as ‘Captain’ in a private setting, but he didn’t push the issue now, since the other was obviously pretty irritated.

“Yeah…I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed to be in a kind of bad mood this week.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and spoke stiffly, “If you feel as though my mood over a personal matter has interfered with my duties, I will take further steps to prevent them from doing so in the future.”

Kirk then looked at Spock and spoke carefully, not wanting to make her mood worse, “Look, from the way you and Uhura have been purposefully avoiding each other this week, I got the idea something happened, and I just wanted to know if you’re okay.”

“With all do respect, Captain, it is none of your business.” Her tone was cool and her shoulders went extremely stiff.

It hurt Kirk with the way she was trying to shut him out, but he shook his head. He was not going to have any of it.

“I’m not asking you as a commanding officer. I’m asking you like a friend.” Kirk said softly, trying to give Spock an encouraging look.

Spock was silent, her shoulders staying stiff, her mouth thinning into that line it did when she was uncomfortable about something, and she hesitated in her quiet reply, “Nyota and I…we…this week we had attempted…to have some intimacy.”

Spock’s ears were tinged green at this extremely personal admission, and she looked resolutely at the floor.

Kirk gently prodded her onward, “…and, it didn’t go so well?”

“She…participated somewhat with me, but I could easily sense that she was uncomfortable.” Some greenness had now colored her cheeks as well as she admitted what Kirk was sure she considered a shame of hers.

“Oh, Spock…” Kirk said sympathetically, his want to take her into his arms increasing exponentially.

Spock then turned her face away from Kirk, so that he could just see her profile, and her voice quivered almost unnoticeably, “Nyota assured me she just needed some more time to adjust to my changes. This I naturally granted her, since it was completely unexpected, and undoubtedly shocking for her.”

They were then both silent, a strange kind of tenseness settling between the two of them, and Kirk felt himself getting more worried when she continued to refuse to look at him.

“Spock.” Kirk almost whispered, his voice more earnest than he’d ever remembered it being.

Spock slowly, slowly turned to face Kirk once again. Though her face was showing no sign of crying, her eyes were bright with tears. Suddenly Kirk got it. Spock felt rejected and unwanted in her new state.

“No, Spock, don’t – ” Kirk tried his best at comforting, not realizing that he’d edged just a little closer to her.

“It was foolish of me to expect anything different.” Spock’s voice was resolute, but the pain in her eyes…Kirk just couldn’t stand it.

She was everything that he wanted, and so there was no way he could let her feel like this. He got even closer to her, put a gentle hand on her face and he murmured, “You’re beautiful.”

And before she could say anything or he could think, he leaned forward to take her lips in a gentle, but passionate kiss. At first, Kirk felt her stiffen in surprise, but when he didn’t relent, she slowly relaxed, allowing her lips to become the slightest bit more pliant. Kirk took this as an invitation to deepen their kiss, raising his hand to undo her hair like he so wanted to and then burying his hands in it, pulling her body closer to his.

Their kisses quickly became breathless and Kirk felt as though he was in heaven, kissing Spock feeling so much more overwhelming than he’d ever expected. He figured because he’d wanted her for quite some time, and to finally get this unexpectedly was setting his heart hammering and his hands trembling with desire. He could feel the pleasant tensing of Spock’s muscles under his fingers as he moved his hands slowly down her back, and he knew she wanted him just the same.

But before this could continue for too long, Spock broke their kiss and held him a few inches in front of her, desperately trying to catch her breath, her eyes wide in surprise at what they had just done.

“…Jim?” she asked softly in confusion, her voice still slightly breathless.

Then all of the reasons why he hadn’t done this already rushed back to him. It didn’t matter if Spock wanted him or not. She was already taken. Even if she had a problem with Uhura, he didn’t want to make things worse. What if Spock just didn’t want to hurt his feelings? What if she just went along with this because he was the captain? There were just so many things wrong with this, it made Kirk’s head spin.

He stumbled backwards away from Spock then, mumbling apologies and then rushing out of the room. In fleeing, Kirk missed how Spock sat silently on her bed in a dazed way, touching her lips.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 6

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 19:42:04 GMT

Chapter 6

Several weeks then passed in this fashion, with things running as normally as could be expected when one of the senior officer suddenly switched genders. Spock indeed did not let the change interfere with her work abilities, though he could tell that the other was quite unnerved by the looks she was now receiving from the male members of the bridge crew and science team.

While doing all of her normal duties, she was working nonstop with the science and medical teams to find some way to reverse this change, obviously not wanting to remain a female for the rest of her life. Kirk thought this was a pity, since she did make such a hot girl. Not that he’d let his thoughts be known to the other since, like most females, he’d definitely get slapped.

Although, since it was Spock, he just might get punched in the eye, and a punch from a Vulcan was something he definitely wanted to avoid. Girl or not, he knew that Spock was still much stronger than he’d ever be.

One other thing he noticed was that Uhura seemed to be slightly less easy around the female Spock than she was with Spock when she was a male. Kirk hoped that the changes weren’t causing a problem in their relationship, but he knew that they would probably have to go through some sort of an adjustment period with this.

Kirk was curious about all of that, but he knew better than to ask Spock anything that personal in nature. He supposed, if the other wanted to tell him about it, she would bring it up on her own. Kirk was also going out of his way to treat Spock the way he always used to, although he found that he’d begun to slap her arm playfully, and other similar things, less, since he was having a hard time getting past the fact that this wasn’t just any woman, it was Spock.

He also continued with their chess games, wanting to at least keep that, especially since he quite liked those times with Spock himself. One such time, he was waiting for Spock to show up after her shift at his quarters, and Kirk felt a little anxious and nervous. Now that he thought about it, he’d started to feel that way whenever he knew the two of them were to be alone.

No one knew any better, especially with his confident air, but it was obvious to him that something about the way that he saw Spock changed. He was determined not to let this come out around the other though, knowing that things were hard enough on her as it was. Finally she came at the expected time, and Kirk quickly let her in.

“Hey, Spock.” Kirk said, giving her a friendly smile and inviting her to sit across from him at a table in his quarters where the three dimensional chess was already set up.

She took the offered seat across from him silently, and this is when Kirk noticed that she seemed slightly dejected. Nothing about her calm face said so, but her shoulders were strained and her eyes looked more guarded than was usual.

Kirk sat with her quietly for a moment, moving his piece, and then asking carefully, “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong with my being, no.” Spock replied shortly, moving her piece, and not meeting eyes with Kirk at all.

Moving another one of his pieces, he then took a careful look at Spock’s face, his voice turning a little more forceful, “Like hell it isn’t. What’s wrong?”

Spock then let out a sigh of defeat and he said, “Over these many weeks, the science and medical teams have been working with me to find a way to reverse my condition. We have been unable to come up with a satisfactory result, short of what you humans have termed as ‘transgender therapy.’ It seems an unsatisfactory experience that I do not wish to put myself through.”

Kirk looked at Spock then with concerned eyes and he spoke with determination, “You can’t give up, Spock! You have to keep trying.”

“Yes, but for how long, Jim? I may have to just resign myself to remaining female for the rest of my life.” Spock said, casting his eyes down toward the table instead of meeting Kirk’s.

“Hey.” Kirk stood up from his side of the table and then he gently took one of her hands to encourage her to stand as well.

He had the feeling he used more gentleness since Spock was a girl, but he didn’t over think it in this moment, just wanting to do what he could to make Spock feel better, “Spock, you are an excellent First and Science Officer. Whether you are male or female doesn’t figure into this equation.”

Finally Spock met eyes with Kirk again, and Kirk was touched to see undeniable gratitude in her gaze, “Thank you, Jim.”

They kept looking at each other for just a moment, and this is when Kirk realized he was still holding her hand. He gently, and hesitantly released her fingers, feeling his cheeks flushing just slightly red as he gave her a half smile.

Then he stepped back, and tried to cover the blush on his face with a smirk, not wanting to think about the funny feeling he suddenly had in his stomach and said, “So, want to get back to me destroying you at chess?”

Her lips upturned just a little, not helping one bit with the blush just staining Kirk’s cheeks, and she said, “Indeed, though I am sure you have gotten it backwards.”

They then returned to their seats and continued their game.

* * *

Eventually the Enterprise was given another mission to carry out, this time on the planet Giedi III, which contained an outpost that many aliens came to do business with each other on. Starfleet had sent them there to obtain information on the whereabouts of a particular Klingon battle armada, since intelligence led Starfleet to believe that they were planning to edge out of the Neutral Zone into Federation Space. It was also important for the Enterprise to carry out this mission as covertly as possible, since Starfleet wasn’t much welcome on this planet either.

Due to the mission being of the sensitive nature it was, Kirk decided it would be best if only he and Spock went down in the away party. They also decided to dress in what was considered normal in the parts, which involved slightly grungy clothing for the both of them, and Spock’s hair being tied in a loose pony tail. Kirk thought Spock still looked fetching, even in such clothing, but he immediately pushed this thought away. Really, something had to be wrong with him. He really should have gotten over the fact that Spock was a hot girl by now…for example, he’d worked with Uhura for how long now, but he wasn’t constantly thinking about her.

No matter, he’d wonder about that all later after this mission was over. He didn’t need to be distracted especially when he was charged with something so important. When the two of them were given the necessary supplies they would need to survive and to record the information they were there to get, they got onto the transporter pad and were then beamed down.

They chose a place to beam down that would be mostly out of public view and near this particular cantina that they were to visit. Klingons and other species they did dealings with were known to be at this particular place, so they felt that this was the best place to infiltrate. They were to be giving the people there the impression that they were bounty hunting rogues that were willing to work for whatever side would bring them the most financial gain.

Kirk wondered just how Spock was going to pull this off, since she was so stiff and moral as it was. He shouldn’t have doubted her for a minute, since the minute they beamed down onto the planet, she was in character. The way she stood, the dark look in her eyes, her face expressionless…everything was her fictional character T'Lera. It sent a shiver down his spine, and he wasn’t all sure if it all was because of fear.

He figured he too should get in his character of Turay Jordin as they approached the place. He took a breath as they walked into the door, the environment reminding of the dive bars he used to frequent in Iowa. Loud, vulgar, dimly lit, and crowded. Strange how he now felt himself so out of place of in a location like this. He noticed that even if Spock was in character, the place made her wary, so she stayed a bit closer to Kirk than was absolutely necessary, and this was something he definitely wouldn’t be complaining about.

They were told to look for a Klingon by the name of Tal'Taak, who was looking for people to give them information on Federation Starbases and other resources they may need for battle. Word was that people who helped them would be handsomely rewarded, so it seemed likely that their fictional characters would take this challenge on.

The two of them pushed their way to the back of this cantina and they found a well guarded group of people there. They figured that this would be the right place to inquire about the Klingon they were looking for.

Krik, making his voice a bit more gruff than usual, he addressed one of the guards, “We’re looking for the Klingon Tal’Taak.”

The guard grunted back threateningly, “Who’s lookin’?”

Then Spock spoke up, and her cold, unusually detached voice sent yet another shiver down Kirk’s spine, “I am T’Lera and this is Turay Jordin. We wish to help in his endeavor.”

The guard scrutinized both of them very closely, but they stood as proud and cocky as they were sure their characters would, and then he whispered to another one of the guards to send the message to Tal’Taak that he had visitors, and then he directed them to a booth hidden behind them, where they were told to wait for the Klingon.

During this time, Kirk noticed that many of the men guarding the table were leering at Spock, and though Spock was doing a rather good job of ignoring the stares, it really was pissing Kirk off. Finally one of the men approached Spock and said, “How would you like to see a good time?”

Spock just raised a cold eyebrow and spoke in a downright scary withering tone, “I am sure you would be quite unable to provide me with ‘a good time.’”

That’s my Spock. Kirk thought angrily and indignantly, his teeth baring themselves slightly at the man of their own volition.

The man just laughed and then he reached out to grab Spock’s arm, saying, “Ooo…saucy. I like ‘em when they think they can refuse me.”

And suddenly Kirk was moving, punching the guy hard in the face, and growling, “Stay away from my woman!”

The thing that scared Kirk the most wasn’t the gargantuan that he’d just tumbled, but the fact that he wasn’t so sure he was playing his character any more. Spock was obviously trying to keep the surprise at Kirk’s move and words off her face, but since he knew her so well, he could see it obviously in her eyes.

When the other guards decided to give the two of them some space, Kirk prayed at the back of his mind that Spock would forgive him for this later, but he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her closer against him. He felt the minute and surprised tensing of her muscles, but she played along with it, letting herself lean against him.

Kirk didn’t have too long to think about the warm feeling her body against his sent through him as the Klingon they were waiting for finally showed up. They talked their ‘business’ with him, Kirk secretly recorded their conversation for Starfleet, and then they made their way away from the table quickly. Kirk also took this opportunity to tightly hold Spock’s hand as they left the establishment. He found that he did not even let go when they were well out of the place and he’d called for them to be beamed back up.

But when he’d put away his communicator, he noticed that her hand was still tightly clasped in his, and so he felt his face color slightly as he abruptly let go of her hand and mumbled an apology. Spock didn’t get the chance to say anything else, only giving Kirk a curious look as they were beamed up.

The whole awkwardness between them was shoved to the back of Kirk’s mind when they got back onto the ship, quickly debriefing on the mission, and then getting back into their normal clothes. Only when the two of them were about to go back to their own quarters for the night did Kirk get a chance to talk to Spock.

“Commander.”Kirk said to Spock, addressing her formally since they weren’t in the privacy of either of their quarters.

“Yes, sir?” she asked, standing in that very straight up way she usually did, with her hands and arms behind her back.

“I just…wanted to apologize for some of my behavior down there.” Kirk said in absolute awkwardness, feeling embarrassed now that he finally had a chance to review his actions in his head.

Just what was he doing feeling and acting so possessive of Spock down there? It was way past what was necessary for his character to be believable and to protect Spock, who was perfectly capable of defending herself.

She was silent for a long moment, and then she said in a very even tone, “There is nothing for you to apologize for, Captain. I understand that you were to act as though you were protective of me, and you acted well in that capacity.”

Kirk then smiled at Spock and spoke in a strangely gentle tone, “I’d do the same for you any time.”

The look in Spock’s eyes softened, and so did her tone, “I am glad to hear that, sir.”

Putting a hand on her shoulder, he said warmly, “I’ll see you tomorrow on the bridge.”

Spock gave him a soft nod, her lips quirking slightly in happiness and said, “Yes, sir.”

Kirk removed his hand and then went to his room. Now he was sure he’d lost his mind. He was definitely in love with Spock. His First, his friend, his…well, now obviously his romantic interest. Just what was he going to do?

* * *

Pushed Aside - Chapter 11

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:20:39 GMT

Chapter 11

Miles awoke with a start, looking up to meet his sister's gaze. "...Franziska..." he half-groaned. So that was what had woken him up.

"Miles Edgeworth. You had fallen asleep and did not come home, so I came to check on you." Franziska said, removing her hand from his shoulder now that he had woken.

Miles sighed and shook his head, standing up. "Perhaps it's time to go home. Thank you."

"Yes, let's go." Franziska said, stepping back to allow Miles to stand up from the chair he'd fallen asleep in, and then she led the way to her car.

With one last glance to the unconscious body of his lover, Miles followed Franziska home, preparing himself for another night of being stared at until he fell asleep.

* * *

Larry knocked lightly on Miles' door, feeling so awkward but so worried about his friend. He'd never thought things to be so bad with Miles, wondering if there was anything he could have done to help. He really thought that Nick always took good care of the prosecutor, but with him now in the hospital, he figured he should at least visit and see how he was holding up.

Franziska had run out for a few minutes while she believed Miles was napping. The aforementioned, half asleep, was woken fully by the sound of a knock on the door. Making a somewhat minimal effort to make himself look presentable, he opened the door. He gave the person on the other side a confused look. "Larry...?"

"Hey, Edgey..." Larry said, sounding very unsure, "How you doing? I heard that Nick's still in the hospital and stuff..."

Miles nodded, stepping to the side to let Larry in. "He's unconscious."

Larry didn't really meet eyes with Miles as he walked inside and made himself comfortable in the living room.

Finally he said slowly and a tad hesitantly, "So, are you...feeling okay, Edgey?"

Miles blushed, not yet coming to sit down. "I'm fine. Would you like something to drink?"

At any other time, Larry wouldn't have refused, but even he could tell when Miles was evading his questions.

"No, man, it's alright." He said, staying silent for a long moment before continuing, "...I didn't find out about stuff right away because my girlfriend suddenly moved to Canada! I guess I should have figured she'd moved when that old lady kept picking up when I called her old place..."

Larry trailed off at the end of his sentence, scratching his chin thoughtfully and looking off in the distance. Then he shook his head and said, "So you and Nick...are doing okay?"

"I.. think so. I'm not really certain, Larry," he sat down across from the other, shaking his head. "What... Did you hear?"

At this Larry looked really downtrodden, and he softly answered, "Ummm...after you were taken to the hospital, Nick'd left me a message about what happened, and then when I'd gone to the hospital to find out where everyone was, I'd found out Nick passed out and you already had left with Franzy!”

"They discharged me quickly on the assumption that it was something of an accident," Miles replied, trying to imply that it was.

Larry did have his moments of not exactly being the brightest crayon in the box, but he could easily tell that everything wasn't right here. And there was the fact that Nick had seemed mostly worried and sad these past few weeks every time Miles was mentioned in conversation.

"Edgey...you know...Nick was pretty worried about you and all..."

"I'm aware of that. Unfortunately, I was busy with a case that I couldn't share with anyone outside of the police department."

"Y'know, Nick's always cared about you a lot. He seemed...so happy to just be around you, Edgey." Larry said, trying to say something nice to his obviously hurting friend.

Miles frowned, knowing that what the other was saying shouldn't have made him feel guilty... but it did. "I suppose... his loyalty has been a constant surprise for me. Even in gradeschool..."

Larry chuckled and said, "You know, even if you never wanted to play with us outside much, or get dirty or anything, Nick always liked you the best."

"You were always instigating things," Miles crossed his arms, smirking slightly.

"Hey, don't hold the fact that I just wanted to have a little fun against me now." Larry said, laughing a little.

Miles nodded. "I think both Phoenix and I admired your audacity, at least a little bit."

Larry smirked back, but then he was silent a moment as he thought about another question that was weighing on his mind, "So...how's Nick doing? What's happened to him anyway?"

Miles sighed, looking down to the floor. "I don't... really know, Larry. When I awoke, both he and his friend Derek, a surgeon at Cadeceus, were unconscious. They've been transferred to Derek's hospital, and in Derek's case, it is supposedly just exhaustion. For Phoenix... they're not entirely certain."

Larry shook his head in disbelief and he said, "Nick's always told me that I'm the one that always gets in trouble, but he's one to say that since I'm not the one that fell off a burning bridge."

"It really would be less stressful for everyone if he stopped ending up in the hospital," Miles sighed, shaking his head.

"Dude." Larry replied in an agreeable tone.

He was silent for a moment, but then he reached out a little awkwardly to squeeze Miles' shoulder.

"You know, Edgey...I know that I annoy you a lot, but I really consider you as one of my best buds..."

"You can tell me whatever you want, you know? Like if Nick does something really dumb and makes you mad, you know I'd use some of my foolproof relationship know how to fix it, you get me?" Larry said, trying to be as understanding as he could.

Miles even chuckled shortly, shaking his head. "I appreciate your help. He's... very loyal, and well-intentioned. I've always been in awe of him."

"Nick's a great guy, and I think he tries to take real good care of all his friends. And I mean that in the straightest way possible, man!" Larry said, not wanting Miles confuse his meaning at all.

"Yes, I know," Miles shook his head. "I've never understood it, but I admired it."

"He just...wants everyone to be good. He sees the best in everyone he meets." Larry said thoughtfully, then adding, "Especially in you. Man, he talks about you all the time. He thinks you're like the best person ever."

Miles' cheeks flushed, and he looked down into his lap. "Really? ... He's always been a bit foolish, as well…"

Larry laughed at Miles' blush and he said, "Nick is funny sometimes...but, dude, he's got it real bad for you. Real bad."

Barely able to look at the other because of his embarrassment, Miles just nodded slightly. "Thank you, I know you are trying to cheer me up."

Larry gave Miles a small smile and said, "What are friends for, man?"

The sound of the door interrupted their conversation, then the clack of heels in the entryway before Franziska appeared, raising an eyebrow at Larry. "And what, exactly, are you doing here, Larry Butz?"

Larry ignored the question and instead raised a flirtatious eyebrow at her and said, "Hey, Franzy...waiting for me to come over, were you?"

Of course, that was when the whip came out. It certainly hadn't taken long. With a hit right across the male, she rested her hands on her hips. "Clearly not, as I didn't know you would be here. You are bothering my little brother while he is trying to recover!"

"Ouch!" Larry said, trying to shield his face from further blows, "Fiesty, I like it!"

"Out, you fool! Come back another day!" she glared at him like an overprotective mother bear.

Larry shivered a little at the look and then he said to Miles, "Okay, Edgey, I'd better go."

As he made his way out the door, he gave Franziska a wink and said, "And you know I'll be back to see you, Franzy."

Then he quickly made his way out before he got whipped some more.

Miles sighed, shaking his head. With Larry being his usual self, and Franziska in protector-mode, this would prove to be an interesting few days.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 5

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 18:52:23 GMT

Chapter 5

Kirk pointedly avoided questions from people on the bridge even up to the next day, wondering just how to break the news to everyone. He noticed that Uhura was being rather tight lipped herself when some of the bridge crew tried asking her, and he knew that this was making everyone more worried. He had to tell them what was happening too, since Spock was scheduled to return to tomorrow.

He finally couldn’t take the looks he was getting from the bridge people anymore, so he said, “Okay, everyone on the bridge, listen up. I know all of you have been concerned about Commander Spock since we returned to the ship yesterday. I want to set everyone at ease by letting you know that he is in perfectly good health, although he suffered another…complication.”

Kirk couldn’t help but meet slightly worried eyes with Uhura before he continued awkwardly, “He has been changed into…a female.”

Kirk heard the noises of shock made by people around the room and everyone was looking at him in disbelief.

“A female, Captain? But…how?” Sulu finally said, voicing the single thought on everyone’s mind.

“I haven’t found the specifics out from Mr. Spock just yet, but the Vuctornas did it to him somehow. In any case, he’s scheduled to come back to work tomorrow, and I’d appreciate for everyone to make him feel as comfortable as he can.” A tiny wry smirk came to Kirk’s face, “It isn’t every day that a man is turned into a girl.”

Everyone conferred amongst each other quietly for a moment over the information, and then Kirk ordered everyone back to work. He also decided that later, he would have to speak with Spock privately about the whole thing, his curiosity really starting to get to him too.

* * *

As soon as a break in his shift came, Kirk quickly excused himself from the bridge and went straight to Spock’s quarters. He had to get to the bottom of everything that had happened to him, and he really just wanted to find out if Spock really was all right. He buzzed at the Commander’s door, and quickly walked in when the door opened for him.

When the door shut, he realized just how warm it felt in here, and he knew that was due to Vulcans feeling more comfortable at higher temperatures, due to the natural temperature that was found on Vulcan…well, used to be found, now he guessed. He looked up and found that finally Spock had changed out of that gown and into what he must usually wear during his personal time in his quarters. He, or she Kirk supposed now, was wearing what appeared to be a home made looking sweater and simple black pants.

The clothes seemed to hang strangely on Spock now, since her body proportions were all different, but really Kirk couldn’t say that it looked bad. Spock also had tied her long hair up into a tight bun on top of her head.

“This is an unexpected visit, Captain.” Spock said, looking at Kirk in a way that he could only interpret as shy.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.” Kirk said, getting closer to her.

“I am adjusting as quickly as can be expected to the changes that my body has undergone.” Spock spoke confidentially enough, but her eyes looked as unsure as Kirk had ever seen them.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Kirk said, wishing there was more he could do for Spock.

They were silent for a long moment then, the awkwardness growing between them with every second, when Kirk finally said, “So, I have to know…how did they do this to you?”

At this, a look of confusion flitted briefly over Spock’s face as she said, “At this, I am not certain. They brought me to another room inside the castle, and they offered me some tea as they asked me questions of the Vulcan culture. I did sample some of the beverage to be polite, but soon after I began to feel quite drowsy. I knew at that time that it was oversight on my part to accept it, but by that time, there was little I could do. They had me lay down on a kind of cot in the room, and as I lost consciousness, the last thing I heard was them chanting something in their language. The next memory I have is waking up in the clothing they placed me in as a female.”

Kirk ran a frustrated hand through his hair and said, “That doesn’t give us any information we need to know how to reverse this.”

“Indeed, sir. I have spent much of my meditation time thinking on possible ways to reverse this, but I have so far come up empty handed.” Spock said, sounding mildly frustrated herself.

“Hey, stop with the ‘Captain’ and the ‘sir,’ will you? It’s just us right now.” Kirk scolded playfully, trying to lighten up the situation.

“Yes, Jim.” Spock said softly, looking to the floor.

It killed Kirk to see Spock looking so troubled, especially when there was nothing he could do about the situation, so he said determinedly, “We’re going to figure this out. We’ll find a way to fix things.”

“I hope so.” Spock said, not sounding as confident as Kirk would have liked to hear.

“Until then, maybe you can talk to Uhura…you know, ask her all about how to do your hair, or wear make up.” Kirk was now just saying things for their amusement, not really meaning any of it, but he wouldn’t object to the advice being taken, “Maybe she can even help you dress – ”

“Jim.” Spock said, an eyebrow raised and that familiar warning tone back in her voice.

Kirk just laughed and then he raised a hesitant hand to rest on one of her shoulders. It felt nice in a strange way, and he smiled when he spoke again, his voice soft and a little more serious, “We’re all going to do our best to help you. I want you to know that.”

Spock stiffened for a moment under the touch, but then she quickly relaxed, and this made Kirk happy that she was also going to try not to let things change between them because of this also.

“I am grateful to be a part of such an understanding crew.” she said about as dispassionately as ever, though her eyes told Kirk she really did mean it.

Kirk realized he was just a bit hesitant to let her shoulder go, but he did, and then took a step back, “I guess I’ll be seeing you on the bridge tomorrow, then.”

“Yes. I will see you then.”

Kirk gave Spock a nod, and then he left her quarters.

* * *

The next morning, Kirk decided to drop by Spock’s quarters again before their shift to make sure the other really was ready to come back to work, completely prepared to give her another day off if she needed it. Just as Kirk reached the quarters, Spock was stepping out of them.

Her hair was in the same bun he’d seen her in yesterday, but surprisingly, Spock was wearing the female regulation Science Officer’s outfit. And though the other was not wearing any make up, Kirk felt as though she looked quite stunning. He approached her with a bit of a smirk and he said, “Decided to wear the female outfit, Commander?”

Raising her eyebrow, she replied in impatience, “I concluded that it was the most logical choice given my change in form. I felt as though the male regulation uniforms would be poor fitting in this state.”

“I fully agree with your decision, Mr. Spock.” Kirk said, checking her out a little, speaking in a playfully suggestive tone, “This outfit certainly does compliment your new form quite well.”

“Captain, we are on duty. If you feel it necessary to regale me with comments of this nature, please relegate them to our personal time.” Spock said, her tone controlled, but tinged with irritation, her eyebrow moving up higher.

Kirk just laughed and then invited Spock to walk in front of him, “Ladies first.”

Kirk knew in that moment that it was far too fun to irritate Spock. They began to walk toward the bridge, and Kirk observed the way Spock was walking. It was very stiff, and perhaps a little jerky. It definitely wasn’t the way he’d ever seen any woman walk, and he felt as though he should correct this before they reached the bridge.

“Spock, wait a minute.” Kirk said, stopping in his tracks.

Spock turned and his mouth was set in at thin line, “Yes, Captain?”

“You’re doing it all wrong.”

“Doing what wrong?”

“Walking.”

Spock just stared at Kirk for a moment with his eyebrows scrunched together, and he finally said, “I am sure this is just a matter of your opinion, sir.”

“Look, if it’s one thing I know, its women. No girl I know walks like that.”

Spock seemed to consider this carefully, finally looking as though she’d been convinced, “Then…enlighten me, sir.”

Kirk just smirked and he said, “Okay, let’s try walking a little.”

Now he looked even closer at Spock when she moved.

“Okay, wait again.” Kirk came up close behind her and felt himself begin to get a bit nervous, figuring it was just because he didn’t want to push himself too much into her personal space, “You need to relax your shoulders a bit more.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders lightly and gave them a massaging kind of squeeze, then letting go when he realized that felt just a little nicer than it should have, “Also your hips…girls usually sway them a little when they walk.”

Spock seemed to concentrate really hard as he tried to walk in the way Kirk suggested, and then Kirk said in some humor, “That’s almost it, just sway the hips a little less…you know, unless you don’t mind looking like you’re going down a catwalk.”

Spock stopped walking and then looked at Kirk curiously, “A…catwalk, sir?”

Kirk shook his head and chuckled saying, “Never mind, just try again.”

Spock tried again, and Kirk deemed it a success, “Wow, Spock, you’ve taken really well to being a girl. Maybe it was meant to be.”

Then Kirk got the annoyed face from Spock, causing him to laugh once again, as Spock said, “Now that definitely is a matter of your opinion that I am sure is shared with very few others.”

Spock quickly walked off ahead in the way Kirk taught him, and Kirk wasn’t sure how he’d be able to keep the smirk off his face when he reached the bridge himself.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 4

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:00:16 GMT

Chapter 4

Kirk thought Uhura reacted as well as could be expected in such a situation, and soon after he and McCoy gave them a moment alone together to talk it through, Kirk took the three of them into the briefing room so that Starfleet could be contacted and filled in fully of the proceedings on Magos VI.

They settled down quickly, but Kirk was having a very hard time concentrating since Spock had not even changed out of that gown the Vuctornas had put him in, since they all wanted to get this done as quickly as possible to allow them to make decisions on the next action they should take. If it were up to Kirk, he was ready to go down there and hold the king and queen at phaser point until they changed his first officer back, but he knew better than to act rashly in such a situation, especially since the Vuctornas didn’t actually try harming them in anyway.

They did drug Bones and I though…so maybe we can get them on that. And being changed genders against your will? That has to be considered as an offensive act. Kirk thought to himself as he hailed Starfleet.

The Admiral they were to contact on completion of the mission appeared on the screen.

“Admiral Nacen, this is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise.”

“Hello, Captain,” The man said in a cheery enough tone, expecting good news, “So what news do you bring us?”

Hesitating, Kirk said, “The negotiations were…inconclusive.”

“What do you mean, inconclusive?” the Admiral asked sternly.

Taking a deep breath, Kirk pushed himself to continue. As unbelievable as it was, it still was the truth.

“We left quickly because the Vuctornas committed an offensive act against us.” Kirk said, trying to keep his face calm.

The Admiral’s eyebrows went up in surprise, “They attacked you?”

“Not…exactly, no.”

“Then what did they do?” the Admiral said impatiently, suddenly feeling like they shouldn’t have sent such a hotshot young and new Captain for a job so important.

“They somehow turned my First Officer into a female.”

Kirk decided in this moment, that he should just get used to other people looking at him like he was crazy. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have believed himself if he heard it.

“They did what exactly, Captain?”

Kirk then looked in Spock’s direction for some assistance in the matter, but all his eyes said was ‘No, no, no.’ Kirk would have liked to respect Spock’s privacy in this situation, but it was unavoidable. He waved to Spock to come in front of the view screen so that he could be seen by the Admiral.

Spock got up from his seat very reluctantly, but then he stood in front of the screen as was asked by Kirk. He stood stiffly at attention with his arms behind his back as he often used to, but it looked quite ridiculous with him in such a flowing gown.

“Admiral.” He said with a nod.

Kirk looked at Spock some more, not sure if he should be calling the half-Vulcan “he” or “she” now. He figured he’d ask the other later, deciding it should be up to Spock. Kirk came out of his thoughts when he heard the Admiral sputter.

“You are First Officer Spock?”

“Yes, sir.” Spock’s voice sounded as calm as always, but Kirk could tell from the tense way he held himself he was anything but.

The Admiral silently thought this situation over, his anger at Kirk dissipating as he realized that this situation wasn’t as straightforward as he thought it was going to be.

“I suppose you were right to remove your away team and stop negotiations, Captain.” The Admiral conceded, “But our situation is still critical. We need Magos VI to join the Federation since they have a unique plant resource that has the potential to feed those who live on planets with very low yield and they require quite a low amount of maintenance. The Federation was counting on the joining of this planet to save lives.”

Kirk now felt half way guilty that he’d left so abruptly when he heard this from the Admiral, but his crew depended on him to protect them, and he felt that it would be best if they did not stay a second longer with the Vuctornas. He cursed himself again for allowing Spock to go speak with them alone, even then having gotten a slightly bad feeling about it.

“So what is your recommendation, Admiral?” Kirk asked honestly, not quite sure what to do in such a situation either.

After another long moment, he said, “Please remove your crew immediately. We will have to speak further with the Federation and arrange for some diplomats to be sent to Magos VI to smooth the situation over. Report to Starbase 5 to receive your next assignment.”

“But, sir, what of Commander Spock’s…condition?” Kirk asked, not one to give up on something this easy.

“We have to hope the condition is a temporary one. I fear any more contact from you will be interpreted by the Vuctornas incorrectly, and at this time, it may damage the chance for reconciliation irrevocably.”

Kirk’s argument bubbled under his surface, but he grudgingly admitted to himself that the Admiral was right. They couldn’t sacrifice all those lives just for one person who wasn’t in any kind of mortal danger anyway.

“Yes, sir. We will leave Magos VI’s orbit immediately.” Kirk said, his clenching fists the only sign that he didn’t really agree with the order.

“All right, I will speak with the Federation Council immediately. Good luck to your ship and crew, Captain. Nacen out.”

With that, the view screen went blank. Kirk met eyes with Spock and McCoy and then he switched on the communicator in the room to contact the bridge, “Kirk to bridge.”

“This is the bridge.” came Uhura’s voice from the other side.

“Chekov, please plot an immediate course for Starbase 5. Sulu, take us out of orbit and then at warp 3 speed, please.”

“Yes sir.” they both said.

“I will be back to the bridge shortly, Kirk out.”

Before Kirk could speak another word to the two of them, Spock quickly chimed in, saying, “Captain, I would like to request permission to go to my quarters to…collect myself. I should be able to return to my shift after a short period of mediation.”

At this, Kirk looked at Spock as if he was crazy, replying, “Spock, you’ve just been turned into a girl. If there’s any excuse for a few days off, that’s it.”

Spock was standing straight and stiff one more time, and he said, “Spending days not working is quite unnecessary. I believe that having one evening off of my duties will suffice.”

Kirk thought it over for a minute, and then shook his head.

“Look, I want you to at least take one day off to get used to…the changes.” He said very awkwardly, still finding that beautiful gown on a, he had to admit it, very attractive female Spock, quite distracting.

Spock was still for a moment, and then he nodded, “Very well.”

With that, he quickly turned on his heel and left the room. Kirk couldn’t blame the guy. If he had been turned into a girl, he’d probably want to lock himself away for a while too.

“Every time you think you’ve seen it all in the medical profession, you keep being proved wrong.” McCoy said, shaking his head as he looked at the spot that Spock was standing, “Spock is still as sour as ever, but even I have to admit, he makes one pretty young lady.”

Even if Kirk privately agreed with him, this caused him to laugh and he spoke teasingly, “Looks like someone has a crush.”

This just earned Kirk a hard glare, and McCoy returned, “I am just stating fact. Just because Spock looks pretty, it doesn’t make him, her…whatever into any less of a pointy eared hobgoblin.”

Kirk just laughed again as McCoy huffed and then made his way back to sickbay, leaving Kirk alone in the briefing room. He figured that he should get back up to the bridge, since there really was nothing left for him to do here. He wished again that he knew what to do in this situation, but unfortunately, there seemed nothing he could do but just wait this out.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 3

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 19:31:16 GMT

Chapter 3

Kirk felt very drowsy the next morning as he woke, and he was greeted by McCoy’s face being very close to his, seemingly examining him very closely as he ran the tricorder over him.

“Thank god you’re awake, Jim. I was getting worried.” McCoy said in relief, putting his tricorder down for a moment, “All your readings are thankfully normal.”

Kirk grunted as he sat up in bed, and he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep, “What happened, Bones?”

“I believe that the food we consumed during dinner was spiked with some sort of sedative.” The doctor replied in a deadly serious tone.

Kirk’s eyes bugged out in surprise, and he exclaimed, “What? Why would they do that?”

“I don’t have any idea. I’m just glad we were done no harm.”

Kirk almost relaxed when his eyes moved over to the empty bed next to him, and then he was excited again, “Spock! Where’s Spock?”

McCoy’s eyes narrowed in concern and he said, “When I woke up, he wasn’t here. The bed didn’t look slept in, so I had no choice but to conclude that he’d never been here.”

Hearing this, Kirk jumped out of the bed, and nearly stumbled with all the sudden movement, but he hurriedly pulled McCoy along with him as he ran back to the discussion hall, “They wanted to speak with Spock about something alone. If they drugged us, I don’t know what they might have done to him!”

Though McCoy had his differences with Spock, hearing this made him infinitely more worried. He followed as quickly as he could behind Kirk, and within seconds they’d made their way to the hall. Kirk was ready to break down doors at this point to save Spock, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that Terilooth and L’reg seemed to be waiting for them in the room. Beside them another woman that Kirk and McCoy had not seen the previous day.

“Good morning, friends.” Terilooth said in an absolutely friendly manner, giving them a big smile as they approached.

Kirk was in no mood for diplomatic politeness now, so in a slightly harsh tone, he replied with his eyes burning in warning, “I don’t know what you think of friends here on your world, but in our Federation, we do not drug some of them and hold another captive.”

Terilooth’s eyebrows went up in surprise and then he laughed, “Yes, we may have added something extra to aid your sleep, but we certainly have not held any of your people captive.”

Kirk but his hands on his hips in impatience, and he said in sarcasm, “Oh really? Then where is my First Officer?”

L’reg suddenly cut in and laughed as well, saying, “Right in front of your eyes, Captain James Kirk.”

She then motioned toward the woman standing next to her. Kirk’s eyes narrowed in thorough confusion. Were they saying that woman was…? No way, it couldn’t be. His eyes slowly examined this woman, starting from her feet.

She had dainty feet in dainty green shoes, she was in a beautiful green gown, similar in style to the one L’reg was wearing, her arms and hands seemed quite delicate and graceful, her black hair cascaded softly onto her shoulders and back…no way this could be Spock.

But then he reached her face. Her mouth was set in a thin line, the dark brown eyes were intense, and her slanted eyebrows were raised in irritation…okay, on second thought, there was no way that this wasn’t Spock.

Kirk’s voice stuttered slightly in surprise and shock, “S-Spock?”

And the voice, though slightly higher in pitch, was still the same one he remembered, the one when Spock definitely was not pleased about something, “Yes, Captain. It is me.”

Kirk and McCoy’s eyes widened. This was crazy. He had to be dreaming. McCoy quickly approached Spock, taking out his tricorder to do some initial diagnostics, and then he looked over to Kirk and said, “They’re right, Jim. My tricorder is telling me that this is Spock, but we should get him up to our sick bay to make all the necessary diagnostics.”

Kirk shook his head. He couldn’t deal with all of this at once. He finally looked back at the Vuctornas and he spoke firmly, “These negotiations are over.”

He didn’t wait for their answer, waving Spock and McCoy over to him, then flipping open his communicator, “Kirk here. Scotty, three to beam up, immediately. We have a situation here.”

Scotty sounded surprised on the other side, but he didn’t question it, “Beaming up right now, sir.”

Kirk then gave the Vuctornas a scolding look, and the three of them dematerialized.

* * *

Then they rematerialized in the transporter room, and Kirk found Scotty looking at them in shock.

“Sir, who is this? Where’s Spock?” Scotty said, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

“Scotty…this is Spock.” Kirk said impatiently, rubbing his head slightly as he began to get a headache.

This definitely would not be easy to explain to Starfleet.

“There’s no way this lovely lady could be Spock.” Scotty said, his eyebrows scrunching up too.

“It is indeed me, Mr. Scott.” Spock said, raising an extremely irritated eyebrow at Scotty, and speaking in a very carefully controlled tone.

Scotty just stared for a long moment, and then he laughed.

“I'dunno how you managed to jump ships, Mr. Spock, but I do believe I approve.”

Kirk swore he saw something twitch in Spock’s face at Scotty’s comment, but the half-Vulcan just glared in response.

Kirk then let out a sigh and said, “Okay, Bones, check out Spock in whatever way you have to, and then we have to do a long brief for Starfleet. I’ll be on the bridge, please contact me as soon as you’re finished.”

McCoy nodded, and then led Spock directly to sickbay. Kirk took his time walking up to the bridge. This was definitely going to be a long day.

* * *

The lift doors to the bridge swished open and Kirk silently went to take his chair. Everyone on the bridge knew something bad had happened, but no one was sure what. Kirk wasn’t so inclined to share either, and so things were painfully silent and awkward on the bridge for a few moments as he sat down.

Uhura quickly noticed that Spock had not joined him on the bridge, and since Kirk’s face looked concerned, she immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. She marched up to him and spoke quietly and pointedly, “Captain, did something happen to Commander Spock?”

Her eyes were extremely worried as she looked at him, and Kirk knew he couldn’t hide the information from her. He knew that Spock was her man, and so she probably deserved a little warning before she went to see him, more than anyone else.

Kirk let out a tired sigh, and quietly replied, “Lieutenant, can we talk in the ready room?”

Her face got more worried, and she nodded, now really expecting the worst. The rest of the bridge felt the same way. The Captain surely would have told all of them what was going on, unless the situation was grievous. He got up from his chair and he led the way into the room, inviting her to take a seat. He waited until the room doors were firmly closed before he took a seat across from her.

“What happened?” she asked again, now sounding absolutely concerned, “Was there some sort of fight? Was he badly injured?”

Kirk almost wished it was something like that, since that was a thing he knew how to deal with. Now this…the Academy definitely never covered how to deal with one of your crewmates being changed into the opposite gender.

“No, Uhura…” his voice hesitated as he tried to come up with the best way to break to someone that their boyfriend was now a woman, “Spock wasn’t hurt or anything.”

“Then…?” now she was looking confused, and Kirk just wanted to slap his forehead.

“Look…I don’t know how to say this in any way that’ll make sense, so I’m just going to tell you, all right?”

“Okay…?” she prompted further, obviously wanting to get to the bottom of this, getting sick of the suspense.

“Those people…the Vuctornas…they…” Kirk was so reluctant to say it, hardly believing it himself, “Well, they…turned Spock into a girl.”

Her eyes widened and then she looked at Kirk like he was crazy, “…what?”

Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head, saying, “That’s right. They did something and made him into a girl. I don’t know how yet, since I haven’t spoken to Spock about everything yet, but he was definitely a girl when I brought him back onto the ship.”

“You have to be joking. This is just one of your sick jokes, right?” Uhura said, her tone now getting angry, since she believed Kirk to be yanking her chain when she was so worried.

He shook his head somberly, “This isn’t a joke. Don’t you think I’d come up with a better joke if I wanted to tell one? This is serious.”

She was silent a long time then, trying to process this information. Kirk felt as though she reminded him of Spock in some way. Perhaps that was why they got together in the first place. She wasn’t looking at Kirk when she spoke again, but her request was soft, “Can I see him?”

Kirk took a deep breath and nodded, “Yeah. I’ll just call Bones and see if he’s done checking Spock out.”

Opening his communicator, he contacted sickbay, “Bones, are you done with the diagnostics on Spock yet? I’ve spoken to Uhura, and she’d like to see…him.”

“Just about, Jim. Everything is normal with him…uh…her…whatever. Spock is just a female now.” Bones’ voice came morosely over the comm, “I guess it’d be all right if you brought Uhura down to see him now.”

“Okay, we’re headed down there right now. Kirk out.”

Kirk then got up and led the way out of the ready room. This definitely was going to be interesting.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 2

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 20:26:20 GMT

Chapter 2

Soon the Enterprise was given a diplomatic mission to conduct on the newly discovered planet Magos VI. It was Kirk’s job to illuminate the advantages that would be gained by the planet in joining the Federation, namely protection from hostile alien forces such as the Klingons or the Romulans. It was arranged that Kirk, Spock, and McCoy would be beaming down to meet with the Vuctorna dignitaries to conduct discussion of the prospect with them.

This was Kirk’s first diplomatic mission, so underneath all of his cool confidence and bravado, he was understandably a bit nervous. It was his way to state things as they were, and in a diplomatic situation, even he knew that wasn’t the way to go, so in essence, he would have to contain all of his natural tendencies during the proceedings. He felt as though this would be one of the longest missions of his life.

As the three of them got ready to beam down, Kirk turned to Spock and said, “Just make sure I don’t say or do anything stupid, okay? I think you’re better at these diplomatic kind of things than I am, anyway.”

Spock just nodded, but McCoy made a jab, saying, “Prepare yourself, Spock. You’ll have a lot of stupid to keep track of, believe me.”

Kirk just gave McCoy a glare when he saw one corner of Spock’s lips twitch at that, and he said, “Shut up, Bones.”

With that, they beamed down.

* * *

Once they all materialized in the agreed location, Kirk’s eyes immediately settled on the welcoming party that was waiting for them.

“Greetings to you, Captain James Kirk of the Federation.” A male humanoid said as he approached them, and Kirk assumed this man was the lead dignitary.

When he got closer, Kirk noted that they did look very much like humans, though they were a shade paler than is considered normal, even for the palest human, and their ears were extremely pointed and long, even more so than Spock’s. The man had hair of a very dark green and he seemed to flow with his every step. His voice was also warm and rather floaty.

Behind him, Kirk saw that he was followed by a woman of the same colored skin, but having light blue hair that went just past her shoulder, and seemed to flow beautifully around her head with every move she made. She was wearing a rather stunning blue and white gown that looked like a delicate flower opening up. Her eyes were quite fascinating too, he decided. They reminded him a little of his own, but they were darker and had a definite sparkle to them that wasn’t present in human eyes.

“Ahh, greetings to you and your people as well.” Kirk said with a small smile on his lips, trying to be as genial as possible.

The tiny nod he got from Spock when he hazarded a glance over to him set him more at ease. The two Vuctorna seemed to then study the three of them carefully, exchanging a few quick lines in their language when the male addressed them again.

“Where is your second in command?” he asked looking between the three of them curiously.

“Oh, right here.” Kirk said sheepishly, feeling stupid that he didn’t already introduce his landing party, feeling as though he was already messing up, “This is Commander Spock, my First Officer. And right by him is our Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy.”

This caused looks of surprise to materialize on the Vuctornas’ faces and they exchanged a few more lines with each other. When both of them looked at Kirk again, the man spoke one more time, “It is not a female?”

Kirk was now getting a little nervous. He hoped that the way his senior crew was established on his ship would not end up offending these people they wanted to please.

“No, he’s not.” Kirk said, trying to sound apologetic under their now downright critical stares.

They spoke one more time, seeming to agree on something, and the male finally smiled at them, “I am very sorry that I have ignored my manners, Captain James Kirk. I am King Terilooth and this is my Queen L’reg. We welcome you to our planet.”

Kirk let out a silent sigh of relief that things didn’t go down hill before they started. When the King led the way to where they would be having their discussions, the landing party quickly followed behind. They saw that they were being led to a kind of ornate palace which was very earthy and natural looking, and also very beautiful.

They were informed that the discussions would occur over dinner, and until then, they were encouraged to settle in their quarters. It was a large room provided to them with three beds in it, and all other luxuries one could expect in their room.

“Wow, the Vuctorna really do go all out with guests, now don’t they?” Kirk said in humor, looking around the room in a bit of awe.

“I am sure it is just their custom to extend great welcome to those that visit their planet.” Spock said as he impassively examined the room they were in.

“Well, then I’m sure there will be no harm in accepting their hospitality.” McCoy added, finding a flask of some drink with glasses near by on a table in the room.

After determining that it did not seem poisoned with his tricorder, he poured himself a glass, took a sip, and then said, “This stuff is great! Here, you both should have some.”

He then poured the two of them classes. Kirk readily took his glass, while Spock reluctantly took his. He did not seem to want to participate in this, but with the look Kirk was giving him, he went along with it.

“To diplomacy!” Kirk said with a teasing smirk, raising his crystal toward the others.

They clinked their glasses against Kirk’s and took their drinks. Kirk was surprised that it was a sweet beverage that usually wasn’t something of McCoy’s liking. He drained the rest of his glass and went to pour himself another. With accommodations like this, there was a chance that he could get used to diplomacy missions after all.

* * *

The meeting in the evening went quite smoothly when Kirk, on the best behavior he could ever remember himself being on, explained to them the dangers of not being part of the Federation, and with the Vuctornas readily agreeing that it would be quite beneficial to become a part of the planetary Federation, since they would appreciate the protection it would provide. They were not a war like people, and knew very little about war and combat, so any assistance that Starfleet could provide them would be gratefully accepted.

Kirk also learned why they reacted the way they did when they found out that his First Officer was not a female, since it was their culture that a male and female must rule together to have all things run with harmony that one sex could never provide alone. It appeared to Kirk that they had no idea of democracy or that sex was not an additional determinant of who got what position in Starfleet, but he just kept that to himself, nodding politely when they expressed their sympathy to him about being unable to choose a female for this post, since obviously none must have been available to make a selection from.

Soon the dinner ended, and they were allowed back to their guest room. Kirk and McCoy were already making their way out of the discussion hall, but L’reg summoned Spock over to her. Kirk noticed quickly that Spock wasn’t with them, so he encouraged McCoy to go on without him while he stayed by the exit from the room and watched in a curious and almost protective way.

Kirk saw they had a short conversation, and then this is when Spock noticed that Kirk had waited back for him. Saying one more thing to L’reg, Spock quickly approached him.

“What’s she talking to you about?” Kirk asked quietly and curiously.

“She had some questions for me that are completely unrelated to the diplomatic proceedings, sir.”

“What sort of questions?” Kirk returned with, sounding just a little suspicious now.

“About me and my culture. As it would be quite rude to refuse their request for information, I will provide them with as much as I am able.” Spock said evenly, but his eyes told Kirk that he wasn’t so sure about this either.

“Look, don’t give them too much information, okay. We just met these people, so just keep it short, all right?” Kirk said protectively.

“Understood, Captain.” Spock said with a quick nod, then turning and joining L’reg again.

Kirk was now feeling a little concerned about this, but he was distracted from the thought when he returned to their room and noticed that McCoy was already asleep in one of the beds.

Couldn’t even wait up for me? Kirk thought, suddenly yawning.

Now that he thought about it, he was feeling rather tired himself. Without another thought, he collapsed onto the bed beside McCoy’s and was asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

* * *

The Inevitable - Chapter 1

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:53:52 GMT

Chapter 1

James Kirk decided that he had developed quite an interesting relationship with his First Officer Spock. He decided that it wasn’t quite friendship, but whatever they had was edging in that direction, and Kirk was pleased with this. After hearing Spock Prime tell him that they were destined to be great friends, he made it his personal goal to see if this was true. If, one day, the cold, up tight, and painfully proper pointy eared bastard could be anything like Spock Prime, Kirk felt as though he might have a chance at getting through to him.

In any case, he did like a challenge. So it was natural that he attempted to be a little less formal with Spock when the opportunity arose, and he especially made sure to pointedly ignore the warning glares he got whenever he gave Spock a playful slap on the arm or a clap on the shoulder. Over time, just as he spent much of his personal time with other crew members, he extended the gesture toward Spock through games of chess.

At first his First Officer would politely refuse, insisting that he had further research or meditation exercises to help his focus to attend to, but Kirk did not let this stop him. Not only was he an extremely determined person, when he set his mind to something he was also damnably stubborn. Finally, Spock relented, though the look on his face told Kirk he immediately wondered if it were a mistake.

Kirk could tell that Spock was surprised that he did not use this opportunity to get further rises out of him or to trouble him about anything, and he so expressed to Kirk that he would look forward to their next match. Soon, this became a tradition of theirs, but for the first many matches, their conversation was strictly restricted to ship matters and missions that Starfleet sent them on.

Kirk knew that he wanted more than an acquaintanceship with Spock, he wanted a friend. Someone that could actually be comfortable enough with him to have a conversation about things other than their jobs. He knew that he had to keep trying to pry past the protective shell that Spock had encased himself in, knowing that the other must be more fun than he was letting on.

There was the fact that he’d bagged a girl like Uhura. Kirk was certain that Spock had to have other sides than the one he showed him to have managed to do that. Time went on though, and even if things between them didn’t seem to be getting worse in any way, they’d only marginally gotten better in Kirk’s opinion. Maybe Spock still held it against him slightly just how he’d gained Captaincy over this ship.

He readily conceded that he had to say some horrible things to Spock to obtain it, and though he felt the other had put it behind him, since they were able to interact in a normal enough manner, he was sure the other had not forgiven him. So, during one of their chess games, Kirk decided to approach this.

After thinking carefully and moving one of his pieces, Kirk cleared his throat and spoke softly, “Hey, Spock…I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Hey, how many times have I told you? Call me Jim when we’re not on duty.” Kirk said, waving off the way Spock addressed him.

“All right. Jim.” Spock’s tone seemed mildly amused as he waited for Kirk to continue speaking.

“Yeah, I know this happened a long time ago, but I need to tell you I’m sorry.” Kirk said awkwardly, looking away from Spock, “About the things I said to become Captain when Nero was attacking.”

Spock seemed to still for a moment, then collect himself before speaking, “Though I had lost control of myself in that time, I have come to the conclusion over time that was the quickest and most logical way of dealing with the situation.”

Kirk looked closely at Spock’s face then, finding it to be in a state of complete Vulcan blankness, but his eyes…he could see in his eyes that thinking of that time still hurt him. Kirk couldn’t stand it, and this is what caused him to order Spock to look at him.

When the other complied with the request, Kirk gave him the most heartfelt look he could manage and he said, “Just because it was logical, doesn’t make it right, and for that I’m sorry. I never should have said any of that about your mother.”

After this, Spock was silent for a long moment, but Kirk felt as though he saw some tension in the other’s shoulders relax when he finally spoke again, “I accept your apology, Jim.”

Kirk then gave him a small smile and then dropped the subject.

* * *

Kirk found that after his true apology to Spock, things got just a little easier between them. Spock seemed much more trusting with Kirk in their conversations, and finally seemed willing to speak of other things than work. Then Kirk took the opportunity to ask questions about Spock’s childhood and he volunteered that information about himself, since Spock seemed too polite to ask. Soon their conversations would span their thoughts on certain literatures and other media, their stands on certain social issues, and slowly they even turned to less serious and sometimes more personal subjects as well.

“So Spock, how are you and Nyota doing?” Kirk emphasized Uhura’s first name, in a teasing manner, knowing that she never wanted him to know her first name for most of the duration they had known each other.

Kirk was also glad that he’d seemed to reach a kind of understanding with her as well, able to interact normally enough as well, but he also had the feeling she still held against him the things he’d said to Spock. Apparently his First never informed her that he’d already apologized, thank you very much. Though, the fact that Spock kept it private touched him in a strange way, like it was a significant moment just for both of them to know, and for no one else.

But, he was quickly brought back to the present when he saw Spock give him an eyebrow for the deliberate emphasis and he said in a marginally dry tone, “I do not believe she would approve much of you referring to her in that fashion, Jim.”

This just caused Kirk to smirk playfully at him and he said, “Well, it’s a good thing it’s just you and me here then.”

Spock shook his head a little at Kirk, but his eyes shined with humor. Kirk could tell that Spock was now more in tune his sense of humor, and he luckily gave him no grief over it.

“Nyota and I are doing quite satisfactorily.”

Now this caused Kirk’s eyebrow to rise in a teasing fashion.

“’Quite satisfactorily,’ huh? I don’t think that’s quite how I’d put it if I were making sweet lo —”

“That is quite enough, Captain.” Spock said, his tone suddenly becoming warning, and his jaw tensing.

Kirk knew that he was in trouble, not only with Spock’s minute expression changes, but by the fact that he’d called him Captain instead of Jim.

He just laughed good naturedly and said, “All right, all right. I’m just commending your good taste in women, that’s all.”

“Your commendation is noted.” Spock said, still not amused.

Kirk realized that he just might have offended Spock, so he softened his tone and said, “Hey, I’m really happy for you guys, you know? I’m glad that you two are happy.”

Kirk could see that Spock still needed more time to get used to his tendency to randomly be brash about certain subjects, but he was glad that the other relaxed once again at his statement.

“I am fortunate that she is so…understanding.”

“She must have been to get through your thick Vulcan skin.” Kirk said, grinning teasingly.

The corners of Spock’s lips curled up just slightly and he said, “Yes, she is quite a remarkable woman.”

It felt like a triumph to Kirk to have gotten Spock to almost smile in his presence. And, he’d realized that he’d quite liked the times that they spent together like this. In this moment, Kirk felt like it just might be possible to reach the level of friendship Spock Prime spoke of. He looked forward to that day.

* * *